Donghae remained on his spot and stared at the ground. He was thinking of only one person as he waited for their punches. When it took quite long, he looked up and saw that the three bullies left.

He ran to the grocery and bought strawberries then went straight to the hospital. When he got there, Hyukjae was fast asleep. Hyukjae must have had another attack that day because he was always awake by the time Donghae got the hospital.

“How long has he been asleep?” Donghae asked the nurse inside.

“A couple of hours,” she said “we’ll be back tomorrow for tests.”

Donghae nodded as the nurse left the room and that was when he noticed that there was a mask on Hyukjae’s mouth connected to an oxygen tank. He sat beside the bed and gently held Hyukjae’s hand.

“Hae?” Hyukjae said. He looked in pain but he still tried to open his eyes and smile at Donghae.

“Just rest Hyukkie…” Donghae patted him but Hyukjae shook his head.

“I was expecting…” Hyukjae said in between breaths “to see you… covered in blood… tonight…”

Donghae wanted so badly to tell Hyukjae how he really felt… but the situation wasn’t right. He knew he would forever regret it but he let the day pass by without doing what he needed to do.

The next few days, Donghae’s heart felt heavy. He knew Hyukjae wasn’t getting any better. In fact, the monkey boy grew even thinner and his eyes weren’t like they used to be. Hyukjae’s gummy smile and happy aura only showed when Donghae was around. Donghae tried his best not to let Hyukjae see his sadness. He always joked around, threw things at him and even tried to wrestle him on the hospital bed.

After all those silly moments, Donghae would spend the night cleaning up the room and attending to Hyukjae’s medicines. Hyukjae’s mom often came but Donghae insisted that she rest and focus on her job to be able to pay the hospital bills. She was grateful for Donghae and promised to take him with them to the city for vacation when Hyukjae gets out. Donghae would hold Hyukjae’s hand and he doesn’t go to sleep until Hyukjae does. He brought his uniform there so that he could go straight to school in the morning. It then became a habit for Donghae to kiss Hyukjae on the forehead every time he got there and every time he left.

“Hae, one more!” Hyukjae demanded one night when Donghae came.

“That was the fifth kiss, Hyukkie” Donghae said but he still leaned in again and kissed Hyukjae on the forehead for the sixth time.

“How was school?” Hyukjae asked.

“The usual…” Donghae said while as he sat on the bed “but you know, I heard there that Kangin joined the Judo Team… probably to beat up more kids legally. Kyuhyun joined the Chess Club… don’t know what he’s gonna achieve there. And I just saw Shindong earlier at the canteen, helping up with the food distribution… and pigging out when the cook’s not looking.”

Hyukjae chuckled. Donghae stared at the television as he looked for a good channel but Hyukjae stared at Donghae. The first time he saw the fish boy, he saw a shy kid who seemed to have potential and a kind heart. But at that time, as he stared at Donghae, he saw a strong kid who had the courage to stand up on his own. He saw someone who could go places because of pure talent and dedication. He saw a person whom he would be willing to risk his life just to get a single kiss.

“Hae,” Hyukjae said and Donghae instantly took his attention from the television and worriedly looked at Hyukjae.

“What’s wrong Hyukkie? Are you having trouble breathing again?”

“No, I’m okay” Hyukjae smiled “I just want to play dare…”

“Dare?” Donghae gave him the are-you-serious-right-now look.

“Yep, let’s play dare!” Hyukjae forced himself to sit up.

“Okay fine, but no extreme dares tonight” Donghae nodded.

“I dare you to share with me some secrets.”

“That’s it?”

Hyukjae nodded. “It’s not as easy as it sounds, Hae.”

And by that, Donghae realized it wasn’t as easy as it sounded indeed. It could be his time to tell Hyukjae everything he wanted to say… but he didn’t want to sound weird so he started off with an easy one.

“I’ve been stalking you since the first day…” Donghae said. He anticipated a loud laugh from Hyukjae… but it didn’t happen.

“I know that,” Hyukjae smiled “I’ve been stalking you too…”

Donghae was confused. He was sure that Hyukjae never noticed his presence back then. He never even saw Hyukjae look at him.

“Here, look…” Hyukjae took his phone from the desk, fiddled with it for a while and then gave it to Donghae.

Donghae played the video and he was utterly surprised. It was a recording from that time he tried to copy Hyukjae’s dance moves in an empty room. He never noticed that Hyukjae was hiding outside the door that time. He continued to watch the video and waited for the arrival of the three bullies. That part was recorded for sure, he thought to himself.

“That’s it?” Donghae said when the video ended and the bullies didn’t come “where’s the next part of this?”

Hyukjae shook his head while giving Donghae a gummy smile.

“That part where the bullies tortured me!” Donghae insisted “you got it on video right? You told them—“

Hyukjae continued to shake his head.

“You mean… you were bluffing?”

Hyukjae nodded happily.

Donghae couldn’t find the right words to say. He remembered how Hyukjae blackmailed the bullies in order to save him. That time he even risked himself that time. Donghae couldn’t say it in words so he hugged Hyukjae tight.

Just then, a nurse came in. Donghae jumped off the bed and watched as the nurse injected something in Hyukjae’s dextrose hose. She wrote something in her clipboard and then left the room. Hyukjae’s expression showed he was in pain but he tried his best not to let it show too much.

“Hyukkie… there’s something I wanted to tell you…” Donghae said “I just don’t know how you would react…”

Hyukjae urged him to go on and told him that the secret he revealed earlier wasn’t counted because it wasn’t a secret anymore. Donghae hesitated at first. Hyukjae was having a hard time in breathing but he didn’t let Donghae see. He pretended that his breathing was normal and assured Donghae that he felt fine after that injection.

“The first time you smiled at me, at the detention room… I felt inspired. I don’t know why and how but at that moment I felt like I could finally do something right. You changed your hair color after that, I wasn’t able to recognize you right away when you entered the room. But then you smiled at me again…” Donghae smiled and looked down.

Hyukjae continued to listen intently and ignored the pain he felt.

Donghae wanted to mention his feelings about the night they kissed… but he thought to himself that it didn’t matter if it was all just a joke or if it was real. All that mattered to him was that he was grateful for that moment and he would never forget the feelings he had.

“I know you’re going through a lot of pain right now… there are times when I wanted to be selfish because I want you to always be there with me. But I can’t…” Donghae didn’t realize that tears rolled down his cheeks “if you have to go, I won’t stop you… don’t let me stop you. I can’t let you stay and suffer… because I know that you’ll always be here in my heart. All I have to do is close my eyes and I know I’ll see your smile. I love you Hyukkie, you’re a precious jewel in my life…”

Donghae hugged Hyukjae as he sobbed. Hyukjae couldn’t help it anymore… his breathing became fast and heavy. Donghae wanted to call the doctors but Hyukjae stopped him.

“I would kiss you every day…” Hyukjae said in between heavy breath  “the way I kissed you that rainy night… just to let you know how much I love you, Hae...”