I remember those happy times, when we used to hold hands and walk around aimlessly in a park. When I loved you and you loved me back and when everything was fine and we had each other. Do you remember you sneaking into my room during the wee hours of the morning and watch me sleep as you my hair?

Do you even still remember us?

It hurts, it hurts too much when I see you smiling oh so heart wrenchingly at her. Sometimes, I catch both of you just lost in your own world, gazing at each other with so much fondness that I want to burst out into jealous tears right there. It's obvious to see that you have moved on; moved on to the stage where we would pass by each other without saying anything, not even a 'Annyeong Yoona-sshi!' or your -combusting smile that all girls longed for.

I admit that I can't let you go, and I just want to slap myself for being so selfish. 

I know that she's the one that you had always wanted; your perfect ideal dream girl. Honestly, I can't bare myself to hate her. She is just too pure and beautiful like how you always wanted your girl to be like. I don't think she knows about our previous relationship and that is probably why she hasn't come to me yet, apologising for taking you away. And I guess that is why you love her, because she was a perfect angel who had fallen from heaven with her beautific smile and her kind and brillaint heart.

Do you even still remember the promises that we promised each other?  You promised me so many things, so many damn things. You promised to be there by my side, everytime I needed you. You promised that one day, you and I would live together with our children when we grew older. You promised, as you kissed my knuckles one by one and when you reached my fourth knuckle, that one day, you would slip a ring into it. You promised to overcome all the media and difficulty when both of us became famous if someone found out about our relationship.

That's not needed anymore, as we broke up even before the media found out about our relationship, I thought bitterly to myself.

I had locked myself in my room when we broke up; and had cried a river's worth of tears. The girls were worried of course, and even when they did not knew what made me crumble into the pathetic state that I was, consoled and reassured me to stop crying and in a futile attempt to cheer me up, jokingly told me that they were going to beat up whoever that had made me sob like a new-born baby. Most of all, she stayed by my side throughout the whole painful ordeal and patted my back comfortingly and cheered me back to life, to face the glaring eyes of the media after the break-up which they did not know about. 

After a few months, I was slightly better but I still thought about you now and then, thinking of those bittersweet memories that we had created together. And then that blasted reality show invited her to get 'married' and all those pent up longing and frustration returned again. Both of you were the perfect sweet couple and everyone simply adored the both of you. The girls would watch the show and coo over how both of you suited each other like a piece of puzzle. When she fell, you were there to pick her up every single time. Hell, even the clothes both of you wore to the show matched coincidentally! To see both of you so jubliant and so in love broke and tore my heart into painful little pieces. 

Pretending to be happy when you weren't was a routine for me then. A smile that really wasn't a smile; a laugh that really wasn't a laugh. When the cameras rolled, I transformed into the same old happy Yoong, the tomboyish girl that was the face of the nation's top girl group. When I was all alone in my comfortless and desloate room, I was a girl that got dumped by her ex because of the distance that had formed between us at the height of our careers. The raw emotions that clawed at me had me broken at the bleakness of the painful reality. The sleepless nights had finally caught on to me and my face was always caked with that dreadful thing called makeup that was supposed to make one look prettier. The heartache intensified whenever I saw both of you together, laughing and teasing each other.

However, she knew that something was not right and had confronted me, asking me what was bothering her unnie. I brushed her question off as some family problems and she had asked no further, knowing that I wanted my privacy. God bless that precious girl.

I longed for you, for your heart-stopping smile that had me captivated like a lovesick fool under your spell. I longed for your sweet touch, that made me blush like a high schooler with unstoppable hormones and made tingles go up my spine. I longed for your stolen kisses, that made me whack your head playfully and you smile cheekily like you had just won a prize. I longed for everthing about you.

You once told me that time healed all wounds. However, I don't see that happening to me. I still desperately wanted you; wanted to be with you. I wanted to feel you; feel you holding me in your arms, feel you care about me. You always kissed my scars and wounds away and made me feel like I was the only girl in your world, nevermind the fans.

Maybe you thought that I did not treasure you enough. Maybe you thought that I was too good for you because of our standing positions in the industry. I rarely told you that I loved you and had rarely initiated any skinship. Whenever I said those three special words, you would light up like a christmas tree and gaze into my eyes with so much love that had my heart thumping like war drums.

Now, I am just a broken shell of the girl that used to be me. I guess I've accepted the reality that you would no longer be mine. I know that nothing else would happen between us anymore other than the fact that I am a close friend of the girl that you love and treasure so much. I want someone to come and repair all the broken pieces of me. I want someone to just love me wholeheartedly.

Maybe one day, someone will love and treasure me like how you do to her.

Maybe one day, someone will help me to get over you. 

I'll just have to wait for him. 

 

 

 

End

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Ehhh was it alright? My first shot as a writer in the huge aff fandom :D

Haha sorry if it was too gay or sad >.< 

Thanks for reading~ xD

Umm, this fic's plot is purely made up from the angsty depths of my imaginative mind. If this fic is similar to any other fanfictions out there, it is purely coincidental. 

haha i dont want any suspicious authors knocking on my door and demanding if I had stolen their plot.

the plot belongs to me~

adios for now~ byeee byeee! :)