Final.
Kris Wu's Many Names
I've always liked the sound of my birth name, Lee Jia Heng, it suits me and has a nice ring to it, but it's just so... ordinary. I figured that a new, cooler, name would match my future role as an idol. I pondered over this "new me" while on the flight to South Korea, excitement coursing through my veins as I inched towards my dreams. It was during my three hour nap that the name, Wu Yi Fan, popped into my head. I find that name quite genius really, it's unique to say the least and sounds pretty legit, I'm sure this name will suffice.
As I introduced myself to my fellow trainees during the first week here, I realized that my new name, Wu Yi Fan, was actually much too difficult for the Korean trainees to pronounce. After an agonizing week of being known as “Oo Yi Pan” I decided that, maybe my English name would be easier for them, I mean, how hard is it to say Kevin right?
"Kevin, you can call me Kevin." I spoke in the best Korean I could muster up and watched as Joonmyun cocked his head to the side and smiled at me before speaking.
"Keban?" Right, no Vs.
I face palmed myself mentally as Jongin and Sehun made their way into the practice room while Joonmyun repeated my name to himself a couple times.
"Keban? Who's Keban, hyung?" Jongin shrugged at Sehun’s question while Joonmyun pointed at me.
The three of them proceeded to speak in rapid Korean, the only words I understood where the terrible butchering of both my English and new Chinese name before Joonmyun turned around to face me.
“Um, Keban… let’s go practice in the other room?” Okay, I understood that at least. I don’t get why Joonmyun always gives way to Jongin and Sehun, aren’t they the youngsters here? But regardless of that fact, they’ve been here longer than I have and I’m really not much of a dancer anyways.
“Sure.”
A couple of Chinese trainees joined after a few months and I absolutely loved the fact that they could actually pronounce my new name. One can only stay sane for so long with people calling you “Oo Yi Pan” and “Keban”.
“Yifan ge, maybe you could go with something easier?” Yixing was thinking and that’s never a good thing. “They’re saying your name wrong right? Maybe we can just take the last syllable like what they do with mine, you know? Xing Xing?” Okay, maybe he’s got a good idea this time around.
“Hmm, that’s actually a good idea.”
“Yeah, except they can’t say ‘fan” properly so let’s use the last syllable of your English name instead! ‘Ben Ben’ sounds good to me!” My jaw dropped to the bottom of the floor and I prayed that no one else heard that. How could I forget that Yixing’s English isn’t exactly the greatest thing out there either?
“What’s a ‘Ben Ben’?” I stared as Luhan opened the door. No.
“Oh! Yifan ge’s new name for the Korean trainees since they have a hard time pronouncing his name!”
“Uh… You do realize that ‘Ben Ben’ sounds like ‘Dumb Dumb’ right? Plus… isn’t it pronounced ‘KeVIN’?” Yes, thank you Luhan, it is pronounced Kevin and, just let me hug you right now. “Actually, ‘Ben Ben’ sounds good to me, it suits you Yifan.” Nevermind, somebody go get me a knife so I can cut this pretty boy.
“Lu ge, please no. I don’t want people running around calling me that.”
“Too late.” Minseok opened the door to an overly excited Yixing, screaming my new nickname. Ugh, this kid is going to be the death of me.
“Hey! Minseok, you don’t have to worry anymore, you guys can call Yifan Ben Ben from now on!”
“Ben Ben? Oooh! Like how we call you Xing Xing?”
“Yeah!”
I shook my head and excused myself from the practice room for a bit. He’s been here for two months and has gotten the hang of basic Korean already but he can’t fricken pronounce Kevin? What is wrong with Yixing?
“Yifan ge, I think the name Wufan seems to suit you more. We’re getting ready to debut soon, I think you should tell manger ge that so they can put that on your profile instead.” And this is why I like Tao; Wufan does have a cooler ring to it.
“That’s a good idea, I like Wufan.”
“Yeah, and while we’re at it, let’s get you a new English name too! Kevin is too hard to pronounce and what’s with everyone calling you ‘Ben Ben’?”
“Don’t look at me, go ask the brain of our pack, Yixing.”
“Wupan ge ge!” Le sigh…Better than Ben Ben though, at least Jongdae is trying.
“Yeah?”
“I’m done with recording and it’s Luhan ge ge’s turn but I can’t find him.”
“I think he’s in the other room helping Minseok out with his Chinese.”
“Oh okay, thank you Wupan ge ge.” Happy thoughts Kevin, happy thoughts.
“Ben Ben hyung!!!!” Ughh, whyyyyyyyyyy?!
“Yeah, Baekhyun?”
“They want you in for measurements; we’re uploading your profile and teaser pictures tonight.”
“Oh... Okay thanks for letting me know.” I really need to do something about this nickname. It’s okay while we’re still trainees but I can’t debut with them calling me that.
“Wait Ben Ben hyung!”
“Yes Kyungsoo?”
“Jia You! You’re filming your teaser video later right?” So he can say that but not my name… Oh well… He’s lucky he’s cute.
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Okay, thank you, is there anything else you wanted to add?” Yes, yes in fact there’s quite a bit I’d like to take out as well.
“I was just thinking… Even though I’m a part of the Chinese subunit, we’ll still have a lot of Korean fans and…I’m worried they’ll have a hard time with my name.”
“What’s wrong with Wupan?” I sighed as manager hyung butchered my name yet again.
“Um… I was talking about my English one.”
“Ooooh! Keban?! Yes, yes, actually Lee Sooman seonsaengnim had suggested a new stagename for you. I can’t believe it slipped my mind.”
“Oh really? What is it?”
“Dang, the name is on the tip of my tongue; I can’t believe I forgot it. Don’t worry though, Chanyeol was there I’ll just go ask him.” Excellent, I can finally rid myself of these terrible nicknames. Where’s that kid when I need him?
“Ben Ben hyung’s new name? Uh… give me a second; it’s on the tip of my tongue too.” To call the next ten seconds of my life agonizing would be an understatement, seriously Chanyeol, I’m dying here!
“Oh right yeah I remember now!” Come on, come on, please be good.
“Krease!”
Close enough.
Fin.
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