It’s too early for bed, but too late for starting something productive. Hyukjae doesn’t like that feeling of being caught in the middle, not having enough time to do the things he wants but too much time to kill. At moments like these he is truly happy that he has Donghae. Time always goes by in the blink of an eye with his best friend by his side.

They are in Hyukjae’s room, lying together on the bed made to fit only one. Donghae on his side, facing Hyukjae, his head level with the other mans chest that slowly moves with his steady breaths. Hyukjae on his back, his thoughts lost in a relaxed haze as he has closed his eyes to better enjoy the music that is washing over him.

After having spared one glance at Donghae’s tired face when the male entered the room, Hyukjae has plugged his speakers into his Ipod, deciding that just listening to music will suffice as a pastime activity this night, pushed his friend down onto the bed and followed. They like listening to English songs, feeling proud of themselves when they understand more and more lyrics. The private English lessons they are taking together are doing wonders for their vocabulary and they praise each other when one of them speake or write without errors. Tonight’s playlist is all Donghaes work. He simply stole Hyukjae’s Ipod when the other wasn’t looking and uploaded what he wanted on it. Things aren’t private when Lee Donghae is around, but truth be told he is one of the few people around that Hyukjae doesn’t mind sharing his stuff with.

The first notes of “Yellow” by Coldplay comes drifting through the room. Coldplay was Siwon’s recommendation and Donghae has instantly fallen for them. Hyukjae loves Siwon, the man is a brother to him, but sometimes it is all he can do to fight the urge to slam his fist in to the others face. But, as he usually argues with himself, all siblings fight now and then.

Donghae is idly drumming his fingers on the small sliver of cover that’s visible between their bodies, softly humming along to the song. Hyukjae has always loved his voice the best when he hums.  As the song ends and the next one starts with a single piano note as the intro, Donghae immediately stirs and draws closer to his friend. He lets his head rest on Hyukjae's firm chest, snuggling into his sweater, with one arm hugging him closer in a firm grasp.

'Hey'…

Hyukjae speaks the word softly, in no way harsh or reprimanding. It’s all he needs to let his friend know that he noticed the change of moods.

'This song is really sad.'

Donghae’s replied is muffled by Hyukjae’s sweater but the words are still loud enough to be heard.

And Hyukjae holds him, because he knows his best friend is sensitive and emotional when he’s sleepy. He wriggles out of Donghae’s grip only to intertwine their fingers and rest their linked hands on his chest, close to his heart. He settles for concentrating on the lyrics, only having to hear those few lines before fully understanding why Donghae is clinging to him.

What if you should decide

That you don’t want me there by your side

That you don’t want me there in your life
 

For Donghae separation of any kind is his greatest fear. Hyukjae knows this. This is why he clings, refuses to let go, never wanting people out of his sight for fear that one day they just won’t come back. Hyukjae is so focused on his friend almost misses the next lines, but what he does hear makes him freeze on the bed.

Let’s take a breath, jump over the side…

That’s right. How can you know it if you don’t even try

Somehow those words hurt him deeply and he struggles to catch his breath as his chest is crushed under a weight that wasn’t there before. Donghae’s arm feels heavy on him and he does his best not to struggle free from the man.

Every step that you take, can be your biggest mistake.

It can bend or it can break, that’s the risk that you take

The high pitched voice of the singer is hauntingly calling out for an emotion Hyukjae knows only too well but wishes he didn’t. He stays perfectly still as he feels the moist warmth of Donghaes tears slowly soaking through his shirt. Everything he has successfully kept inside of him for so long is now visible in the features of his face, and he is eternally grateful that Donghae has his eyes closed. He wishes for the song to stop already. He wishes for it to stop telling him what he already knows.

Let’s take a breath, jump over the side…

That’s right. How can you know it if you don’t even try

Let’s take a breath, jump over the side…

You know that darkness always turns into light

If Donghae notices the grip on his hand tightening, he doesn’t say anything. He stays silent, the tears still streaming down his face, waiting for Hyukjae to take that breath.