“May I excuse myself?”

Jessica was ready to stand but her grandfather stopped her.

“You should eat more. You’re getting thinner each day I see you.”

However, she still left. She smiled and bowed to everyone eating for the sake of showing respect.

I just looked at her while she walks away. I sighed as I know that as she leaves, the attention would now be diverted to me.

“Is there a problem, honey?”

Mom whispered and I’m guessing she heard my sigh.

“I think it’s getting hard to breathe here with all the tension from Jessica’s grandfather and all.”

She seemed concerned of me so she let me go out for some fresh air.

“May I excuse myself as well?”

I was already standing up when Jessica’s grandfather suddenly spoke again.

“What is with kids these days always trying to get away?”

Still, I bowed and smiled at them before turning to leave.

As I was walking, I was unconsciously thinking about Jessica.

She was not like this before.

I don’t know if it’s because of our distance or the fact that it has already been 4 years since we last saw each other but she has gotten surprisingly quiet now. I can’t believe she did not even talk to me earlier. She simply… walked by and acted as if I was not there. Even if I tried approaching her, she kept on avoiding my presence. It hurts, of course, because she is my friend. Well, maybe I’m being too clingy. We’re not that close anyway. Yeah, maybe she’s feeling creepy when I get too close.

I heaved another sigh.

“What are you sighing about?”

I was shocked with her sudden interruption. Well who wouldn’t?

“Jessica, you scared me!”

I faced her while trying to compose myself and started laughing, however, she just shrugged and continued walking.

I was shocked again but I slightly ran to catch up with her.

“You’ve been very quiet recently.”

“What do you mean recently? I haven’t seen you for 4 years, if you hadn't noticed.”

She did not walk faster but I felt being left out. My feet started slowing down. I did not know why but I felt weak with her remark. Not long after, I noticed her slowing down before looking back at me.

“Can’t keep up with a beauty, I guess.”

She smiled! I was sure of that. It was only for a bit but I really saw her smile. Finally!

“That’s what you think!”

I was catching up with her again but when I caught up with her she suddenly stopped walking and faced the sea.

I tried looking for whatever she was looking at but I can’t figure it out.  I was really curious of what made her stop so I looked at her to try and see where she's looking at.

But I ended up staring at her.

She looks really beautiful. And I mean really. There’s not much light but I can see her face clearly as if she is emitting a certain glow from within. From the stare she’s giving the water, I can tell she’s hiding something inside her. Like she’s got some kind of secret. Woo mysterious. But I like it.

I smiled without noticing and because God is good, it was also the same time Jessica looked at me.

Great. She caught me staring at her while smiling like a creep.

I was waiting for her to scream or make a disgusted face or push me away but there was none. She just stood there looking at me saying nothing. I was now really curious of what she was thinking about.

It was killing me inside. I always knew what other people were truly thinking just basing on what they say or what they do; mostly on body language and eyes. But I can’t with Jessica. I don’t mean to sound like Edward and Bella from Twilight where Edward has this ‘special power’ to hear people’s thoughts but he can’t with Bella. Cliché, I know, but even I did not know it could also be real.

Well, I did not know what to do or say or how to react with her stare at me. Just a while ago she was looking at the sea with her deep, mysterious stare and now she’s doing it with me.

Wait. Can this stare mean something? Is she kind of telling me a message? Something that she knows only I would understand. She smiled when I was the only one around. She held my hand whenever I offer it to her. She hugged me when she's happy or sad or excited or just about anytime.

Can it be that I am the reason?

Oh wait there, cowgirl. I should not be assuming anything, right? My mind is on a bullet train right now.

How could I even think of all those things?

I laughed and I saw Jessica smile again.

“Why are you smiling?”

“Well, why were you laughing?”

Oh . I thought I only laughed on my mind. Darn, I am such a weirdo!

I was panicking in my head but I stopped when I heard her laugh.

“You are such a weirdo, Tiffany Hwang.”

I instinctively smiled at her statement. It’s as if she read what I just said to myself and copied it.

I missed this. I missed her.

She suddenly hugged me; very tightly, I tell you people.

“I missed this. And most especially, I missed you, Tiff.”

How the heck did she read my mind? Did she become a psychic causing her to be utterly silent?

“I just missed you so much. Don’t leave for that long again.”

She even tightened her hug with me. She made me feel that she did not want me to go again. I even thought I felt something wet by my shoulders.

“You know I did not want to leave you. It was your grandfather’s decision.”

I realized I was not hugging her back and when I did she slightly loosened her hug before completely letting me go.

“But you also know I did not want you to leave. Besides, you did not have to follow his orders. He was just using us, if you didn’t know.”

I was shocked with what she said and was about to ask more questions but I decided not to push it anymore.

Both of us did not know what to say anymore. We let the silence fill in on our silence.

That did not make any sense, did it? Sigh, I am such a failure for explaining.

I looked at the wide dark sea and I thought I saw something. I can’t possibly explain it to people who aren’t in the exact place, moment and person to be with.

I didn’t fully understand her body language because I wasn’t feeling what she was feeling. Now that I do, I also understood the reason behind her silence; the secret she hides with the sea. The secret is now also safe with me. They told me without even talking. Cliché, I know, but even I did not know it’s possible until I was the one who experienced it.

I looked at Jessica again without any smile on my face or without saying anything.

Thanks for letting me experience the magic.

She was staring back at me before laughing and I smiled back at her.

“You are such a weirdo, Jung Jessica.”

Oh, you love this weirdo.

I think I read what she was thinking. Or was it just me?

I was shocked, for the third time just for the night. At this rate, I might get a heart attack and die at this same moment. But of course I did not want to die just yet.

And I love the other weirdo in front of me.

Jessica smiled at me and I knew that it was not just me playing tricks on myself.

Her silence was the only thing that could kill me and revive me at the same time.