xvi.

“crown prince wu fan is coming.”

the emperor’s , xi, announces from outside the emperor’s private meeting room. the private meeting room was built for the emperor whenever his highness wants to talk privately with his family. wu fan personally feels uneasy because it was the empress who called and asked him to straightly go to the emperor’s private meeting room. it will be a family discussion, he assumes.

soon after wu fan took a seat across the emperor and the empress, he bows to them as a greeting. “is there something your highnesses want to discuss with me?” he asks politely.

the empress inwardly grits her teeth to decrease her nervousness and grips her clothes to ease the uneasy feeling while the emperor clears his throat to make sure wu fan is all ears. and wu fan is.

“our crown prince is growing up into a handsome, polite, humble, democratic, yet cold and unapproachable man,” the emperor still manages to joke. but because wu fan can’t laugh at that (this is a family’s formal occasion, for god's sake) so he just bows to show his gratitude. “at first we know you as little prince wu fan and at the age of five, you were enthroned to be the crown prince.”

wu fan grows more curious about this. why suddenly the emperor brings the past things up?

“say, do you feel offended with your title as the china’s crown prince?”

at this, wu fan doesn’t nod nor shake his head. he doesn’t immediately answer that either. he takes a deep breath before eventually says, “maybe being a crown prince is a permanent fate for me, that i had to deal with the rules sticking with this title. it’s like a package. at first i had no clues what i was facing when i first became the crown prince. as time goes by, i admit it was really hard when your highness gave me many things to do, like for the small example, meeting with the prime minister. at such a young age, after i came back from canada, i couldn’t attend my classmate’s birthday party. instead, i had to handle the international trade issue with korea. for a teenager, it was an unusual thing but who am i to say no? i am the crown prince, and it’s something i must take the responsibility of. if your highness ask whether it burdens me or not, of course it does but everything has the plus and minus in it. but if your highness ask whether i feel offended or not, then i’ll say no, because like i said, being a crown prince is a permanent fate for me. no matter how hard i struggle, i will be and i’m still the crown prince.”

the emperor gradually smiles hearing wu fan’s long answer. for many people, it could be a bull but for him, it was a meaningful one because with that, he’s convinced about something. wu fan is really suitable for the emperor position.

“太子,” the emperor says with a very adamant tone, “i’d like you to do an important favor. you better promise me to do it properly, alright?”

wu fan bows. “your requests are command, your highness.”

“good,” the emperor says in satisfaction. “starts from next month, after your graduation, you will take the throne. you’ll take the place of me as an emperor of china.”

if only the emperor were his friend, wu fan would have shouted obnoxiously ‘what the ?!’ right in front of his dad’s face, but since his dad is the emperor of china, he just can’t. well, it’s hilarious. he? becoming the emperor in next month right after his graduation? oh man, he only hopes there will be someone who will shout ‘you’ve been tricked!’ because it’s really a something he can’t think nothing of. being an emperor of china means he must maintain the lives of million—no, billions of people. it’s a big thing to do.

the empress tries to act cool but she fails. she bits her lower lip. she knows well how wu fan will react. she knows that he will say no. but no matter what, she involved in agreeing to wu fan’s enthronement because she wants to, not because she wants to conserve her gen, but more like she is preventing the bad things to happen to wu fan and maybe herself.

and wu fan feels he’s not ready yet. he thinks he’s still lack in many things. he can’t handle all of the country’s business only with his hands. he may get the ministers to deal with that but again, the country is going to be under his responsibility as the emperor. moreover…

wait, being an emperor means marriage. what about yixing? what about his feeling towards yixing? does he have to sacrifice it now? he knows he will never be in a relationship with him since of course it’s obviously forbidden, but does he really have to? now? without being able to watch yixing reaching his dream?

“i…” wu fan starts after a long time pause, “i don’t think i can do it so soon, your majesty.”

“i know you’ll answer me like that. it must be shocking and all of a sudden. but 太子, please understand that i can’t be an emperor forever. i have time limits. before everything happens, i’d like to give this throne to you,” the emperor says.

wu fan shakes his head. “no, your majesty. you’re as healthy as always. no need to abdicate so soon.”

“you really don’t understand, 太子… my condition is getting worse because of the diabetes. how would i reign when my body tells me to get rest every day and every night? china will get weaker because of the emperor’s illness.”

wu fan sighs. he doesn’t know how to defend anymore. he looks up to see his mother and he finds her trembling.

something she maybe doesn’t know, he knows. and he knows a bit what happened. should he take this order?

no wu fan, no. throne isn’t something you can play with.

“if you’re thinking about marriage, well it’s up to you, but i don’t mind at all that that you become the emperor first then you get married with china’s best woman,” the emperor explains. “the most important thing is the throne’s new holder.”

wu fan somehow feels so relieved.

the emperor smiles widely. “so you agree to receive this throne?” he asks.

wu fan sniffs. “i think sooner or later, i will still be the emperor. but i’m still lack in many things, so if your highness don’t mind, i want some time to think about it.”

the emperor exhales heavily; he knew before this that wu fan probably would ask for some  time to think. but deep inside, he also knows that wu fan will still be the emperor. so he says, “alright. i’m giving you three days. i can’t wait any longer. now, you may go back to your palace. you must be exhausted after attending classes all day long.”

and when wu fan asks permission to leave, the empress who couldn’t say even a word stares at her son’s back with sad gaze, mumbling ‘sorry’ for hundreds times.

sorry, i’m extremely sorry, crown prince, my son… wu yi fan.