-- Title 5/5

I thought the title was perfect. It's very eyecatcing and leads the reader in the wrong direction.

-- Foreword and Description 10/10

I really like your first three sentences. It really touches me in the heart (I have a soft heart)

The first paragraph in the forword was a smart idea. Makes me want to read more.

-- Plot 26/30

I really like your plot. It is really intense. I couldn't stop reading, but some parts are pretty cliche, like the phonecall. The whole think is really touching, seeing the two charecter's love. I think you should just leave the readers hanging at the end. Let their imagination go wild. (maybe it's my opinion. I have so many random things)

-- Character 20/20

Your charecters are really well protrayed. Like I said above, their love overflows and it is just so cute. Makes me want to cuddle something as I read (even though they are in a super scary time..)

-- Grammar and Spelling 19/20

Your grammar is one of the best I've seen on AFF. There is one sentance where you used "fondling", but it's supposed to be fooling. Fondling means to or caress lovingly.

-- Flow 15/15

I think you did really well. The flow was perfect for me. Usually, oneshots are really rushed, but not yours. I applaud you for that.

Overall Score: 95/100

I'm sorry for the short review. I have just been really busy this whole week OTL

Even though it was short, I hope it helps you in some kind of way.

Thanks for requesting and don't forget to credit!

-chasingdust-