Sungmin got home late that night, he had been at the gym, trying to loose weight. The company had told him it had to be done, that he had to take care of himself. And he was so tired that once he noticed the letter on his pillow he thought about ignoring it.

His curiosity took over and after he had showered and changed into his pyjama he decided to take a closer look at it, maybe he would even read it that night.

~

I'm writing you this letter to tell you how wonderful you are. In every way.

I try to show you how beautiful you are everyday but somehow I think that I fail in making you see it. Promise me that if you ever doubt yourself I will be the first you tell so that I can tell you how wrong you are.

Lee Sungmin, you are beautiful and talented. Not as Hjukjae who dances with little effort or as Jongwoon and his special voice. But you are talented in your own way. When you set your mind to it you don't stop practising until you have perfected whatever your learning. May it be two lines of a new song, a new dance routine, a new recipe or a new song on your guitar. You can perfect anything you want and I think that most people would give up long before you do.

Sometimes I stand in the shadows to watch you practise dancing by yourself. I love how your body move and to see you work so hard. Sometimes I wish I could hold you, help you but I know that you wouldn't like that.

I hope you don't think that I'm creepy for looking at you from my shadows, its just that you look so peaceful alone in the light. Sometimes I think that I love you.

In the evening when I'm visiting your dorm I sometimes hear you play your guitar through the closed door of your room. I love listen to you play and I wish I could see you play. I wish I could help you practise your guitar, but I'm afraid that I have nothing to teach you in that area. Maybe you could teach me, that way we might become closer?

I know that promoting with M stresses you out, we all know. You really struggle with the Chinese language. I really wish you would talk to me about it, ask me to teach you. But you never do. Please rely on me when you're troubled because I want to help you.

You became our leader in china because we all can rely on you, but who helps you? Who do you talk to?

I know that you're sad when Kyuhyun spends more time with Zhoumi, maybe you used to rely on him? Rely on me instead, I'll never let you down. I promise on my honour to never let you fall.

The thing that saddens me the most is when I see you kiss Heechul hyung. I know that you are close, even if you never show it. I know what you two used to do before his enlistment, how you used to sneak into his room at night when you thought that no one saw you. Is he the only one for you? Do you seek others company now that he's busy? Do you think that you're the only one for him?

I wish you would come to me instead, if I was that privileged I would never have anyone beside you ever again. I would cherish you like no one ever did before.

We have realised so many dreams together, so why don't I still know you as much as I wish I did? What is your dream now? Who do you love? What makes you sad?

I've seen you sad, even though you work so hard to hold this façade up towards the rest of the world. I see through it. What makes you sad? Are someone mean to you? Is it the anti fans? Is it the pressure from the company?

If you read my confession, will you tell me? Will you rest against my shoulder and let me carry you through the darkness to a better time? I promise you that you will never ow me anything, it would be my privilege to help you.

Lee Sungmin, I love you and always will. Rely on me.

Choi Siwon.

~

That night Sungmin cried himself to sleep.