I
The Hardest Thing
Jongin makes his way to her apartment unit, getting more and more anxious with every step. Today, he finally decided to tell her the truth. He’s clueless about why he even decided to keep up with this “relationship” in the first place. He was committed. He has morals, which he values just as much as his life, and this relationship—this affair-- goes completely against his principles.
As much as he thinks he loves her and wants to be with her, guilt wakes him up like a bucket of ice-cold water. He’s been married to his wife for 3 years and has been together with her for a total of 9. He made a promise to his wife even before they got married, that he’d love her till his last breath and even beyond that. But what’s he doing now? His wife is a lovely woman, and truly she deserves much better than this.
As much as he thinks he loves the girl he is about to see, guilt throttles him. She is one-of-a-kind and he instantly grew fond of her on that day they met at the café he frequented. He didn’t even know what made him fall so hard for her. In no time, she charmed her way into his heart. And as far as she knew, he was single. Their affair went on for nearly a year and a half.
She welcomes him with a warm embrace and a kiss as he enters her apartment, but his reaction is cold and harsh. He pushes her away; I’m sorry, he thinks. But he has to put up his ruthless exterior.
“I don’t love you. I never loved you.”
She sobs silently, shaking her head. It took time for her to take in what he just said, and now it sunk in after a few minutes of silence. Again, he feels guilty… But he knows he needs to do this.
“I don’t understand. Jongin, what’s gotten into you?”
He scoffs and turns away from her.
“I thought you ought to know by now. I’ve been married for three years. I have a wife, and my wife is pregnant. I made a promise to her that I’d love her forever. I’m sorry, but we can’t go on like this…”
She holds onto him tightly, I don’t wanna let him go, ever. “Jongin, I thought we loved each other! I love you so much, honey, please don’t leave me!”
“I’m not in love with you.”
She says nothing, just too shaken with everything going on.
“We’re not meant to be.”
And he walks away without turning back, eyes stinging with tears.
I know that we'll meet again
Fate has a place and time
So you can get on with your life
I've got to be cruel to be kind
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