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She fell again on the pavement once she reached in front of his apartment. Under the pouring rain with nothing on but a black dress that was slightly covering her knee level. Her mascara ruined not because of the rain, because of her tears that she had let out on her walk to his apartment. “Why is God against me too?” she whispered to herself with a tear rolling down her cheek that was barely noticeable. People passing by gave her weird, yet pitiful looks as they looked at her for a brief moment before continuing to walk.

She was drunk, she was totally wasted. If someone were to tell her that today was her last day living in the world she would be more than glad to accept the fact and die even when she’s a healthy person with no medical conditions. But she was stronger than that, no way in hell she would let herself end her life because of a boy. A boy who meant nothing but the world to her. Correction, a boy who once meant nothing but the world to her. She was nothing to him anymore and she had to face that fact.

How can you actually throw years of loving a boy? But the thoughts of him cheating on her with her ‘best friend’ for almost a year now, made her feel angry. Anger, jealousy and hatred flushed her inside out. Even alcohol couldn’t drown her sorrows away. That’s where she knew she had to go to a friend. A close and special friend.

She managed to stand up as she took off her heels to clutch them in her hands with her hand purse in her other hand. She walked into the lobby as she nearly bumped into a few people before making her way to the lift. The people there knew her very well, and they knew better to not question her about anything based on how she looked.

She wasn’t like this. She was one of those happy girls going around making the world light up with her smile and bubbly personality. She entered the lift and fell down again. She let out a groan as her vision was getting blurry but she wanted to see him badly. She wanted his company now. She pressed his floor number before resting her back against the lift wall that was so cold, she could freeze.

A soft ‘ding’ was heard as the lift doors opened. She was welcomed with a strong cold breeze, causing her to squeeze on tight to her shoe straps and her hand purse. She was limping and struggling but she won’t stop until she reaches his front door. She tripped on her foot just a few steps away from his door. Another tear rolled down her cheek as her body was aching, but her heart ached more.

Her head felt like it was compressing her brain and it felt like it was hard for her to breathe. Memories of her and her ex-boyfriend flashed in her mind like a projector as today was their 5^th year anniversary. Before she knew it, a fresh set of tears flowed down her cheeks and she couldn’t take it anymore. She dragged herself until she was right in front of his doorstep.

She had no energy to walk. If it was possible she didn’t even want to breathe. She tossed her shoes and dropped her hand purse to the ground. She leaned her back against the wall by his doorstep. Tears streamed down her face as she lifted her hand to knock on the door. “Suho!” She cried as she knocked on the door. “Suho!” she called him out again but weaker this time as she slurred through her words. She choked on her tears as she lifted her hand to knock again but the door opened.

“Who i-“ his voice trailed off the moment he saw the poor girl on the ground. His eyes widened as he immediately unlocked the grill door to crouch down in front of her. He cupped her chin with one hand as he tilted her head left and right. Only to examine the bruise on her left cheek. She smiled bitterly the moment she saw him. He gulped before his heart ached at the sight. He his lips and his lips parted to speak but he couldn’t. The sight of her drenched with a bruise on her left cheek along with the smell she had, he could roughly put the pieces together. He could even sense she was injured at her ankle since there was a blue black mark.

“Seung Hae..” He croaked out as she looked up with teary eyes. She was tired from crying but it seems like she had a whole lot more from where that came from. She tried to keep the smile on her face but it slowly faded as she started to cry again because she couldn’t bring herself together to explain to him. He pulled her into his arms as she clenched onto his shirt as he shut his eyes tight. Hearing her cry, watching her cry, it stung his heart. “Let it all out.” he whispered as she did as she was allowed to. She cried until his shirt was damp. It was 1.02a.m., but this meant nothing to Suho as long as he was there for her.

He shut his eyes tight as a tear ran down his cheek. He could feel every ounce of pain in her heart. It was spreading in him as though he was the one hurting. Slowly he broke the hug when she stopped crying. He lifted her up with her arms wrapped around his shoulders as she rested her head at the crook of his neck. She was whimpering in pain when he tried to support her with just his knee and one arm to lock the door. He made it quick and continued to carry her with two arms. “Let’s have you cleaned up first, you’ll catch a cold if you continue wearing nothing but this clothing.” He whispered into her ears, trying to set her down but she held on tighter.

“What’s the matter?” He questioned as she wouldn’t lean away from him. “I don’t want you to leave.” She whispered as he managed to smile. “I’m not going anywhere.” He shook his head as she sniffed. “Promise?” he chuckled softly before nodding his head. “I promise.” She leaned away slowly, but still gripping onto his shoulders as he smiled at her. He walked into the bathroom to place her sitting down on the toilet bowl with the lit down. He crouched down in front of her before taking a good look at her ankle.

“I’ll leave a set of clothes here for you and when you’re done I’ll treat your ankle, alright?” she nodded her head slowly before he got up to cup her cheeks. He leaned in closer to plant a kiss on her forehead. He pulled away before giving her one assuring warm smile. “It will all be alright.”

After an hour, she finally got out of that dress and was out from the shower with clothes that belonged to Suho. She wore an oversized cotton blue long-sleeved top along with a pair of sweats. No longer did she smell like alcohol and she was quite sober now. She was in his room sitting opposite him as he rested his back on the bed rest after he treated her ankle along with the bruise on her left cheek. He reached for her hands to hold them tight. He was hesitating to ask her what happened even though he could tell already. He wanted to hear it from her. Before he could ask, she started to speak.

“He..” her voice cracked as she tried hard not to cry. She shut her eyes tight to prevent the tears from falling but, it was hopeless. “It’s okay to cry.” He whispered as he brushed the back of her hand with his thumbs. She took in a shaky breath before gulping. “He was cheating on me the whole time with..with..” she couldn’t go on as she never thought her own best friend would do such a thing to her. He squeezed her hands before she tried to continue. She opened her eyes slowly, gazing down at their hands.

“He’s been cheating on me for a year now with, Jae Hee. I was so stupid to not realize anything.” She clicked her tongue before she played with his fingers. She laced her fingers with his as she let out a bitter smile. “You know I always wondered how it feels like to walk on cloud nine. And.. just to be happy about everything in the world even though it comes crumbling down.”

“Today’s that day, where I lost it.” She looked up to meet his eyes. His eyes softened as he managed to ask what she had lost.“Everything.” She whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. She gazed down at their hands before she gave his hands a tight squeeze. “I lost.. my parents a year ago. You know about that. I gave up on my dreams just to be with him. Now.. I lost the guy that I thought had meant the world to me along with my ‘best friend’.”

 He knew she wasn’t done, that’s why he didn’t say anything. It wasn’t because of that, it was also because he was hurt. He was hurt that she was blinded by another guy to not realize he’s been loving her ever since he met her. She was just too oblivious to not realize it. Maybe that was one of the reasons why he fell in love with her. At the same time, he was hurt to see that she was going through so much pain she thought she was all alone in the world. ‘Who am I to her?’ he thought to himself as he stared at the girl sitting on his bed opposite him.

“Sometimes, I wonder if it’s because I’m not good enough.” She chuckled as she let out a sigh. “Not that I blame them. I am..not good enough.” She shrugged her shoulders slightly as he pulled his hands away from her. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked up to see the boy’s eyes slowly filling with anger.

She bit her lower lip as she tried to reach for his hands but he looked away. What was going on? When everyone is turning their backs on her, he was the only one who didn’t. Why was he turning his back on her when she needed him the most? “Suho..” she called out as she tried once again to reach for his hands and this time she managed to get a hold of his hands.

“What’s wrong?” she whispered as he pulled his hands away again. “What is wrong with you?” His voice sounded as cold as ice that shot through her heart. Just when she thought her day couldn’t get worse, it just did. A tear rolled down her cheek as she let out a soft, inaudible “I don’t understand.”

“Then I’ll explain to you why.” He turned to look at her with determination in his eyes. Ready to finally do what he’s been wanting to do for years. He gripped onto her shoulders as he shook her to make her pay attention. But he kept his grip on her shoulders loose as he didn’t want to inflict pain on her shoulders. “Listen to me, and listen closely. If you ever say that you’re not good enough again, I’ll lose it.”

“You are good enough.” He said with a pause after every word. “Someone will always be prettier, maybe better looking than you. Someone else will always be smarter, maybe even more capable of doing things you can’t do. But there will only be one of you. You are so special inside out. The way you just care about others before putting yourself first, that is an admirable quality. It makes you look irresistible. It makes me want to come up to you and steal your lips from him instead of letting you touch that useless bastard. And the way you smile every time you see me? It never fails to melt my heart. Don’t ever look down on yourself, and never blame yourself that your relationship with that came to an end. If you were loyal to him throughout the whole relationship, you can’t blame yourself for an ending. He should blame himself for letting go of the girl that forgot the other 1.2 billion guys in the world when she was with him. He should blame himself for letting go of the one girl that never bothered to look at any other guy when she was with him.”

“I would know,” he chuckled bitterly before he looked away from her eyes. “You would never spare me a glance whenever you’re with him.”

She could tell at the back of her hand that Suho had feelings for her. They thought she didn’t know, but she did. She wasn’t exactly the brightest girl in school, but she didn’t have a low IQ. Any idiot would know that Suho had feelings for her. She just couldn’t risk losing a guy like Suho. What if their relationship didn’t work out? What if they separate and never speak to one another again? It killed her every day knowing she was hurting him. But that was for the best at the moment. She couldn’t risk losing him. Suho was the one person she could never let go of.

Another thing that separated them was timing. Their timing was always wrong. When she was single, he had a girlfriend. When she’s taken, he was single. When was there time for one another? There was one time Suho tried having a girlfriend to clear his thoughts of Seung Hae in his mind. Guess how did that end up? He ended up falling for Seung Hae more as he could point out the flaws of his girlfriend but he could list out plenty of perfections that he loved about Seung Hae.

Even though both of them had feelings for one another, even if it was small tingly feelings.. It was never enough for them to leave their current partners for one another. Maybe this is time for a change. “Suho..” she called his name out softly as he turned to face her again.

“What I’m trying to say here is, you are so much more. You are worth,” he shook his head as he couldn’t think of anything extraordinary to use as an example at the moment. “So much. Just, so much.” He emphasized on the words ‘so much’. “And I won’t sit here to let you tell me about how you think you’re not good enough. I won’t sit here and let you tell me that you have no one else in the world anymore. If you don’t have anyone else, then who am I?” he questioned as he shrugged his shoulders.

He let go of her shoulders as a smile slowly crept on her face. “Suho?” she tilted her head sideways as she sat a little bit closer. Her knees were pressing onto his as his heart was beating a million times faster. “Can I ask you for a favor?” she asked softly as he nodded his head.

“Promise you’ll do it?” she question as she put her pinky up. He nodded his head before linking his pinky with hers. She put down her hand after linking fingers before lifting her chin to smile at him. “Kiss me.” She whispered as he stared into her eyes. She was dead serious. She frowned a little the moment she knew he was holding back. Maybe she was wrong, maybe.. his feelings for her had already faded throughout the years she was taken.

Not that she blamed him. The only person she wanted now to own her wasn’t her ex-boyfriend. She wanted Suho. It may seem selfish but when you lose everyone that meant the world to you, losing the last one is just heartbreaking. She didn’t want to lose him now. She was willing to risk it all for finally having a chance to be with him. She was ready for all of it. “S-Sorry,” she chuckled as she tried to enlighten the atmosphere.

“I completely understand if you wouldn’t want to do it because.. Well it’s pretty selfish of me, huh?” she pressed her lips together before pulling her hands away from Suho who wanted to hold her hands a little while longer. He’s been thinking about this moment for ages. He’s been waiting for days, weeks, months and years. He was trying to process everything that was going on. He wasn’t exactly a fast learner. He stared into her eyes even though she was looking down on her hands. He could see himself, along with her sharing a beautiful relationship.

He could imagine them being happy. He could see all those happy moments he shared with her even when she had a boyfriend. It was all clear to him now. She had feelings for him and he finally put all the pieces together. “I shouldn’t have aske-“ she was cut off the moment Suho cupped her cheeks before pressing his lips onto hers. He leaned in more until her back came in contact with the soft bed. His hands at the side of her head as she pulled him down by his neck to land on top of her with their lips still in lock.

Both of them had their eyes shut as they tried to savor the moment they were sharing with one another. Years of holding back, being blinded by the wrong people they finally had the courage to take a chance on the right one. He broke the kiss as he leaned his forehead onto hers. He could feel she likes him now, and he would do anything to keep making her like him. To make her his, that was one of his goals he’s been trying to achieve since day one.

She closed her eyes to process what had just happened, not that she regretted it. She was definitely walking higher than cloud nine. It was above heavens if she had to describe how happy she was feeling. She gulped as she panted heavily with him. Her arms around his neck as his hands gripped at the sides of her waist. She could feel his breath hitting her skin, and he could feel the same. Both of them were giving one another chills just being in that position.

She opened her eyes only to find the boy that she really loved staring at her with his promising brown eyes. To be completely honest, she’s been thinking about this scenario happening many times in her head. And finally it was happening. He rolled over until his back was on the bed with her beside him. His arms around her as he wanted her as close to him as possible.

“Stay for the night.” He whispered as both of them didn’t want to let go of one another. She nodded in his chest before she closed her eyes to drift off into dreamland with thoughts of the boy beside her. When he could tell she had fallen asleep he pulled away just to look down on the girl beside him. He smiled in content. A smile that was genuinely plastered on his face as every single body part of his was tingling.

He his lips before he continued to stare at her. He tucked a few strands of her hair that was blocking her face behind her ear. “You are so beautiful in your own way. And I will never make you cry.” He whispered softly before placing a hand on her cheek to caress her cheek. “I love you. I said it the moment we met, and I meant it.”

“I meant it too.” She whispered softly with her eyes closed. He jerked up a little as he was shocked she wasn’t sleeping. She opened her eyes slowly before smiling at the boy hugging her. “The first day you told me you loved me, even though I was with another boy. I had already registered in my mind that I loved you too.”

He leaned in closer to close the gap between them by giving her a kiss on the lips. She smiled into the kiss before he hugged her tighter. 

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