Sunlight. Light wind whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Something hard under his leg, maybe rock or piece of tree?  Sand, maybe his on the beach. It hurts, it hurts on the knee. What has he done? Eyes won’t open and he actually doesn’t want them to open. He kind of wants this to be over.  No, he doesn’t want this to be over, that would mean the certain had happened. He had lost his humanity.  How could he do this to Zhoumi?  Or maybe it’s wrong to think Zhoumi would miss him. Maybe he moves on, faster than Kyuhyun ever thought. Maybe all of this is just a huge misunderstanding. He doesn’t want it to be over, no, not yet and not so fast. He deserves it after all of his struggling, he deserves it. This couldn’t happen. Not now, not to him. He wishes he would have had more self-control. He wishes it would be a misunderstanding, mind wandering back. Not sure if he is dreaming or just memorizing things.

He is back to their old house, the beautiful blue house, surrounded by flowers and different kind of plants Kyuhyun doesn’t know anything about. The way to the door is by stones on the ground, you have to step on them to get to the door. He and Zhoumi had had idea of the stones when they’ve traveled to Morocco. They used to travel a lot. Kyuhyun misses the trips, they always had the time of their lives but all of that may be over now. Who knows, maybe things aren’t that badly, maybe they’re okay and all of this is just a dream. Wouldn’t that be great?

When you get to the door and turn around you’ll get a beautiful sight to the ocean.  Something about the color blue had always threw some kind of attraction towards Kyuhyun. Maybe it’s the richness of the color, the many shades of it, how the sky blue is different from the ocean blue, how it floats.  If someone asked Kyuhyun the thing to describe everything on earth and beyond, he would say blue. Because of the ocean he only agreed moving into this house back then. Something captures his attention and he’s moving to the old spruce they have in their backyard. They had many picnics here, watching down to the ocean, cuddling together and eating Zhoumi’s delicious sandwiches he used to make. He would always put extra tomatoes on Kyuhyun’s one because he knew he loves tomatoes. Then they would fall in sleep when the sun would go down and sneak back to the house when they would wake up feeling cold. Sometimes they would be too lazy to get up and sneak back to the house so they would just hold each other stronger and fall back to sleep on each other’s arms. Kyuhyun loved those moments. He would treasure all of them in his heart forever.