I watched you walk away the tears welling in my eyes as I beg you to stay. But you shrugged off my hands, my pleas, my cries out to you and faded away. Slowly, slowly my sky started to darken thunder boomed loudly rain poured like bullets piercing through my body. You were out of my site. I couldnt find you. So I curled up there, alone, scared, in complete and utter pain.

I woke up sweating and panting. 'We broke up 6 months ago because of my stupid mistake, why do I still think of him, why do I have these dreams of him?' My thoughts drifted left and right leaving me to have to get up and grab a glass of water from downstairs, carefully so I woudn't wake up bora who was sleeping in the other bed. I crept downstairs avoiding all the creaks and cracks of the dorm house floors, reaching the kitchen with a sigh of relief.

"Daehyun oppa....Why do I still love you?" I took my last sip of water and headed upstairs for another morning of swirling headaches caused by a full head.

-Pan to next morning~ 8:36am-

"Hyorin unnie wake up! We have to go! Hyorinn!!" I heard an obnoxious yell come from my right ear.  Still sleepy and grouchy I grabbed the nearest pillow next to me and threw it at bora's face violently.

"Im not in the mood" I yawned, "besides what do we have to go do anyway thats so important."

"Hm, well I dont know its a little radio show called 'Culto show' and sistar19 thats us in-case you forgot, is suppose to be there...." The next words that came out of stabbed inside of my eardrums. "With another group called B.A.P"

The insides of my crumbled and I felt like medusa was standing right in front of me, turning me to stone. Then the flashbacks occured.

★Flashback

It was 6:00pm and I was waiting for him to show up to our dinner date. His group B.A.P had made their debut before my group sistar did so I understood that he might have been busy with a schedule that came up.

"It's fine, as long as he shows up I'll be fine." I comforted myself out loud. An hour had past so I thought maybe hes here and just hasnt seen me. So I scoped the resturant for him. Instead of daehyun my eyes landed on someone different.

'Ooo, he's kinda good looking', bad thought to think when you have a boyfriend I know. 'Oh crap he saw me!' I blushed and pretended to hold the menu infront of my face. I peeked behind it and I saw the gorgeous man walking towards my table. 'eotteokeh!' I thought in a panicky sort of mode.

"Hello miss" The voice was slightly the right kind of deep and very suave, it almost made me feel like I was melting right then and there.

"U-Uh, U-Um, H-Hi" I stuttered out like an idiot. He chuckled. And oh god it was the iest chuckle ever.

"You are very cute, and I noticed you staring at me and of course being attracted to your beauty how could I not come over and introduce myself. My name is donghae. May I ask who you are?"

"Me? Oh, um, my name is hyorin"

"Ah, a pretty name for a pretty face. Its nice to meet you hyorin." He stated as he grabbed my hand and kissed it ever so softly. It felt like a feather gently grazing my skin. "I dont want to seem rude but may I ask why such a nicely dressed lady like yourself is sitting here all alone?"

"Im....", 'What is it hyorin, tell him the truth, or lie?' I questioned my own thoughts for a few seconds then blurted out an anwser I wish I could've taken back. "Im here alone, just thought maybe it'd be nice to get out of my house and doll myself up for a night. Never thought I would meet someone as handsome as you."

My ringtone suddenly went off singnaling I had gotten a text from someone. "Excuse me for I second, I have to check my messages" I got up from the table and went to the bathroom to check what it said.

Sender Daehyun 

Reciever Sweetheart<3

Hey hyorin, im sorry im running late for our date. Ha, late date. Sorry I shouldnt be making jokes at a time like this >.<; Anyways, our schedule had gone 1 hour longer than expected but I should be there around 10 minutes okay? I love you so much hyorin<33 (>3<)~Chu<3

I read it quickly thinking about whether or not donghae had left or not and slipped my cell back into my pockets, checing my making up and hair before walking back to the table.

"Anything important? Because if it is I can go.."

"The text? Oh no it was nothing" I happily smiled inside and out forgetting about my boyfriend the one I love, forgetting everything and focusing on what was in front of me.

"Hyorin, you have very pretty eyes...They are big brown chocolate eyes that would certainly draw any suitor in..." Every minute, every 60 seconds he would inch, closer and closer. Oh the bittersweet irony that at 10 minutes he got so close our lips were smashed together.

My mistake

His hand traveled up my thigh ever so slightly it made my spine shiver with excitment.

I let it happen. It felt wrong but it felt oh so nice, 

at least for this side.

My phone had rang again breaking us from our kiss but it wasnt a text it was a call. Apologizing quickly I answered it not looking at the caller I.D I naturally clicked the accept call button.

"Hello?"

"Look outside the doors hyorin" The voice sounded cracked with a mix of hurt and pain brewed into one voice.

So I looked.

The sight I saw pained my heart more thank a bullet going through my skull. I saw daehyun outside of the doorway a single tear after tear spilling from his eyes visibly. 

I wanted to break down.

"I guess our anniversy day means nothing when im late huh?"  The pain in his voice grew more apparent. Thats right it was our anniversy today also...

"Wait but daehyun I can--"

"No, no, hyorin, I-I just can't, I just DON'T want to hear it not from your ty mouth, not from ANYONES mouth. Bye hyorin. Have fun on your dinner date. I hope your happier now than with me." The call ended with a sob and sniffle. I watched as he threw a black box on the ground and walked away in the light rain with his salty tears mixing in the cloudly night.

I dropped my phone in shock not even caring that donghae was there anymore. This isn't what I wanted, I didn't want to lose him. Daehyun was all I had, all I wanted. But I realised this all too late and he was gone. The only thing I can do is retrieve that black box. The last thing of him.

Quickly getting up from my seat I ran outside leaving a stunned and confused donghae. One swift motion was all it took to pick out that box. And I opened it covering my mouth with my hands to silence the sobs that were leaking their way through.

A gold ring with a saphire heart in the middle. There was a note attached under written in red ink.

'Dear hyorin,

the 5 years since we got together in highschool have been years and moments I will never forget, we laughed together, we cried together, and we loved together. You had my heart the moment I saw you and I knew you were the one. Your face, your eyes, your hair, and your lips. I love all of it because in my eyes you are perfect. But I want that perfection to be mine even when we grow old. So, Kim Hyo Jung, will you marry me? I promise to make the best husband and possibly father as I can. Its our anniversy day and I feel the time is right. I love you with all of my heart hyorin and I want to be with you forever. I hope you feel the same way about me too.

Love, with everything I have,

Daehyun<3'

"What-What did I do? What did I do?" My knees hit the hard ground now soaked in rain and tears poured out of my eyes like a waterfall.

"DAEHYUN!" I yelled at the top of my lungs hoping he would hear me, hoping he would come back. But nothing. I only heard the rains soft pitter patter agains the buildings.

He wasn't coming back.

"I guess the rain is going to mix with two tears today" I said with all my makeup running to the ground. I just sat there. Crying, and crying until I was too exhausted to cry anymore and I managed to drag myself back to the dorm. Soaked and broken.

★Flashback End

"Hyorin? Hyorin, are you okay?!"

I felt my face which was hot with tears and wiped them. "Yeah, im fine bora. Could you wait for me in the car, While I take a shower and get dressed?" I asked as nicely as I could.

"Yeah, sure..." she replied hesitantly walking out.

"Finally, face to face again.." I whispered quietly getting ready for our first meeting since 6 months ago. Funny how today would be another anniversy if we were still together.

-Pan 12:00pm: Culto radio show studio-

"Waah this place is so cool, look at the audience and the little kids, gaah. So cute" Bora said obviously excited about the whole thing. While my heart was pumping adrenile faster than a race car. 'Where is he?' 'When are they going to show up?' 'I hope b.a.p gets here soon.' It took 5 minutes but finally a group consisted of 6 men walked through the door. I scanned them until my eyes landed onto the one wearing a hoodie over his head. i silently gasped.

'It's him...It's really, really him. God why do I want to just run up and hug him like he was dead and just got revived.' My eyes followed his every move, from when he set down his coat, to when he had gone to his seat. Which luckily was right next to me.

When the radio show started I kept stealing little glances over at him. 'His face looks the same which is nice because he doesn't need to change a thing. But he did dye his hair from blonde so thats new.' I was taking in every little detail I could.

Host #1: Hyorin!

"Huh? Oh yes?"

Host #1: So we heard that you have been working on your rapping skills a bit.

I blushed slightly "Yes, I was practicing with yoon mirae and tiger jks song "Disagreement" I said shyly playing with my thumbs. What am I doing, im acting like a 16 year old school girl.

Host #2: Really? Would you like to perform it for us?

"Um I really--"

Host #1: Go ahead grab a mic and go to the front of where everyones sitting.

I can't really refuse or else i'll look rude...Guess I have to do this. I sighed standing up feeling everyones eyes even bora's eyes boaring holes into my back which made me nervous. But then I heard the music and I let go of all the tension.

'{A/N: if you want to hear her sing this then go to this link and skip ahead to 14:18 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKeibWohJzI ] [A/N 2: Blue = daehyuns feelings, Pink = hyorins feelings, green = both feelings, grey = doesnt relate.]

'I can't be happy as much as I loved you, I dont know why I feel angry without a reason told you something that I didnt mean. I should forget when time goes by, It should get erased, torn in the faded photo. I turned around and walked for a long time without crying. When I opened my eyes which were blinded by love you already drifted away. You sent me off from far away, you didnt hold onto me. Like my love right now you didnt look for me. Just wanna go back to being with you whatever it takes I dont care baby what can I do? If I could go back in time, believe me I would. Although I know its impossible I know you cant turn back time, time's unstoppable. Even if it feels like I have everything I wanted, In a disagreeing love I cant be happy. Because you're not here, I cant be happy. I wanna go back. I still think of you, I regret it so much, I shouldn't have left I was too afraid then I still think of you. But I cant forgive it I loved you so much. How could I do that to you?

The song ended and the place erupted into loud clapping and cheering. I tried to sing from the bottom of my heart and with every ounce of power I could and the music me in. I sat back down trying to get a glimpse of his face to see his reaction but the damn hood was in my way.

'Daehyun, what are your thoughts right now?'

Host #2: So daehyun! We hear you have a relationship now. Is it true?  

'What?'

"Ah, yes its true, im dating someone most people would know. Her names IU" The guys nudged him as he talked which made him smile that bright smile that I missed seeing so much.

'Wait, I must be missing something here. This cant be true. He's not really dating IU is he?' I thought feeling a sharp physical pain in my heart.

Host #1: We bless you with good fortunes daehyun, hey who knows maybe you two crazy kids will get married soon!

"Well, who knows..."

More questions came and were anwsered then like that the show was over. We thanked everyone and had left it was getting close to nighttime since our dorm was so far away and bora had fallen asleep.

"Geez, when isnt she sleeping during a car ride" I quitely said rolling my eyes. Looking for my phone a slip of paper not too noticeable but noticeable enough fell from one side. "Hm? Whats this." It was written in pencil.

Dear Hyorin-

Like a rose wilting and dying

So feels my heart.

You trampled the most fragile thing in my body 

I dont love you anymore, But my heart still does.

From, Daehyun.

I read the note, stared at in in disbelief, and re-read it again. Did I really make him feel all of these emotions...Am I really that bad of a person? Why does fate want to play these cruel things on my life? Making me hurt all over again. The flashbacks appearing into my mind periodically over and over again. I just cant take it anymore. Im starting to get sick of it. My voice, my mind, my face, my hair, my actions. MY LIFE.

My head started to pound like a drum and I felt like I wanted to puke. 'Im truly sorry daehyun, I didnt want to make you feel lke you did I wish I could take it all back reverse time and do it over again. But I cant.' And thats the sad fact of reaity once you do something it sticks with you. It becomes you it consumes you until there is nothing left but a small opening to get the real you back. You must be quick though or else it takes over and turns you into a living monster.

Me?

I just wasn't fast enough. And I have to kill that monster before people believe that its truly who I am.

-Pan next day-

Everyone had left for their schedules and I was alone. Perfect. I read daehyuns note one last time with tears welling up in my eyes. Two tear drops staining the paper.

I re-folded it and scanned my letter once more which I wrote in red pen. The same ink he wrote me on our last anniversary. This is the only way I can one get my feelings across. And two finally get the forgivness that I craved from him. By giving him or at least showing him my heart physically.

Dear Daehyun,

I cannot express my feelings of how much I still love you, how much I want to hold you in my arms while you do the same. You made me feel safe...But I broke that bond of trust we had. I want to apologize for that. I hurt you in a way that was never intended in the first place but a spur of the moment stupid decision. Im stupid, Im a , and overall a bad person. I will take any name thrown at me. But I want you to know I hope that you and IU are happy together...Even after im gone. I want you to read this song I wrote. I hope you like it. I think it should be titled "Gone not around any longer":

                                                                            I didn’t know we would break up so easily

                                                                                     My tears won’t stop flowing

In my bathroom your toothbrush was here then gone
Your strong scent was here then gone
I just wanted to say that I love you
But your number is disconnected now

The pictures in the frame were here then gone
The hair you shed was here then gone

I walk the streets without thinking

and tears keep falling
 

I can’t breathe now that you’re now longer here
I can’t even stay because you aren’t with me
I am slowly dying but you’re not here
Anymore anymore anymore

I can’t smile because you’re no longer here
Because you’re not here
I hate seeing myself break down
Theres no longer anywhere for me to lean on now

Why am I withering away like a fool everyday?
Like a darkened flower, without you, I just
Keep saying it’s painful, sad, alone
I fall asleep again crying

I hate to see myself get drunk and stumble
Can’t fight with you even if I want to now
Because you’re gone, because you’re gone
I've got no one to talk to now

I can’t breathe now that you’re now longer here
I can’t even stay because you aren’t with me
I am slowly dying but you’re not here
Anymore anymore anymore

I can’t smile because you’re no longer here
Because you’re not here
I hate seeing myself break down
Theres no longer anywhere for me to lean on now

Because you are not you are not around any longer
Please come back to me.

Funny how people say your soulmate is the person who mends your broken heart, by simply giving you theirs but does a broken heart ever really mend? Hopefully after this yours will. I love you........................Goodbye.

Feeling satisfied I folded my note to fit perfectly inside of daehyuns and I headed out to find TS ent. It was a 2 hour search but finally the building came in my horizon line of sight.

'Alright hyorin, this is it.' I took a deep breathe and told the office lady directly.

"Hello, im hyorin good friends with daehyun. Could you please give him this note?" She eyed me suspiciously and asked for I.D so I sighed and showed her that I really was hyorin from sistar. After the O.K I got from her I left with one weight lifted of my shoulders.

"Now..." I reached into my bag and grabbed a map to the tallest building in seoul. "All I need to do is get rid of this last weight.."

This search took about 3 hours by now daehyun has probably read the note, or thrown it away since it was from me. The second one is more likely... Taking the elevator up past 40 floors finally reaching the roof. I looked down while taking off my shoes.

Everything looked like little specs moving in a motion blur. My eye sight was getting hazy and my stomache queezy.

"You have to do this hyorin" I climbed at the edge at first second guessing myself but then shaking my head vigourously.

"No, no, I've made up my mind" and with that I let my body fall like a feather. Everything for me began to slow down and it felt like time had stopped completely.

Maybe the pavement or possibly death was my soulmate all along because it took my broken heart and mended it with its own hands. Soaking up my blood like a vampire half splattering my face to where my right eyeball popped out and that side looked as if someone lit a torch close to my face resulting in a meltage. And with that my mind went blank. No thoughts. No sights, No smells. No noise. No nothing. Just darkness.

Finally with my true soulmate. Death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Few! This was really interesting and fun to write ^.^, I feel like I should write a chapter on daehyuns viewpoint during the time he recieves the note. To hyorins death and afterwords. But I dont know XD. Anyways hope you enjoyed this little drabble thing here. {<- btw this story is a product of what happens when my mind begins to wander into the dark author part of my brain X3} Until the next story Bai~~