Today, is the day I will confess my love for Jessica, my bestfriend. 

After many days to gather up my courage, I decide that today is the day, i'll do it. i don't care anymore that she's a girl, and I'm one too. 

I just want to know if she'll have the same mutual feeling for me.

 

 

 

I was sitting in my class, done with my test, staring at Jessica....sleeping. 

She sits right next to me, at this period, which I love, cause in my other two classes I have with her, she sits in front of me and I never get to look at her face. 

I was thinking of the place and time I'll confess to her, boy, this is really hard..

 

"Ok class, times up, hand me your papers"

As everyone passed their papers forward,

 

Jessica was still sleeping, so I decided to wake her up.

"Uhmm Jessi, you have to pass up your test, to Mr. Kim now."

She groaned, passed her unfinished paper to the front seat and looked at me.

 

Oh my god, her face is so cute.

 

"Why are you blushing, Tiff."

She giggled.

 

"Oh, uhm, well, uhhh"

 

"I know, i'm beautiful" Jessica said flipping her hair dramatically.

 

"Talk about conceded"

 

"Hey, you were the one looking at me though."

 

"Ha, shush it."

 

The bell rang, and our teacher excused us for lunch.

 

"Ughh, the lunch here is terrible..like always. Come on Tiff, let's go to the cafe." Jessica said

 

"Don't tell me were ditching again."

 

"Yup, we are."

 

"But it's still school"

 

"Who cares" she smiled.

 

"But Jess, I can't do that, I'm the student body president, it'll hurt my reputation, like remember, when we ditched last time."

 

"Come on Tiff, be fun sometimes." She pouted.

 

That pout oh my god.

 

"Fine"

 

"Haha, I know you'd give in, like always" she smiled and kissed me on the cheek

 

My face started to burn.

Then she grabbed my hand while we ran outside the campus.

Only  you would make me risk my position and image just to be with you, Jessi.

 

 

 

We soon arrived to our favorite cafe, ordered and now waiting for our meals.

Thank god, I ditched, now's the great time to confess.

 

"Uhmm Jess" I said, my hand starting to sweat.

 

"Yes Tiff" she looked up from her phone.

 

Just when I was about to start talking again, Jessica shrieked.

 

"OMG TIFF, HE'S HERE."

 

"Who is?"

 

"Taecyeon" she smiled at me.

 

Taecyeon...a guy at our school that also ditches a lot.

 

"So?"

 

"He is soooooo hot."

 

My heart sank a bit.

 

"You have a crush on him?"

 

"Of course! Didn't I tell you?"

 

Great, my life must hate me, just when I was about to tell Jess that I have a crush on her, this comes along. I think I felt something pierce at my chest.

 

"No.."

 

"Oh, well, he's still hot, haha, so what was it, that you wanted to tell me, Tiff?"

 

"Oh, uhmm I'll tell you later, when we get to the park after this."

 

I needed some time to gather up my courage again after her telling me about Taecyeon.

 

"We're going to the park after this?"

"Yeah..if it's ok with you."

 

"Sure, Tiff." She smiled a little, which made my racing heart beat a little faster.

 

 

 

After we were done eating at the cafe, we walked to our local park, hand in hand.

No matter how much times we hold each others hands I still feel that little spark every time she initiates it.

We sat under a tree, and she put her head on the crook of my neck.

 

"So, what was it that you wanted to tell me Tiff?" She said as she cuddled into my neck more.

 

My hand started to sweat again.

 

"Oh uhmm well."

 

"Spit it out already, dummy" she giggled.

I gulped.

 

I sighed.

 

"Well, i've been feeling this for quite a while now, since middle school honestly but every time  i'm with you i get this strange but pleasant feeling, I wanna be with you all the time, and I feel sparks in my body when you do these intimate things with me like right now and-"

 

"Do you love me?" Jessica suddenly said removing her head from my neck. A surprised look on her face.

 

I just stared at her biting my lip.

 

"Tiff...do you love me? Like as in...in a lesbian way?"

 

I continued to look at her.

 

"Cause, i'm sorry but i'm straight, I only think of you as my bestfriend"

 

I should've known...

 

I tried to hold in my upcoming tears and spoke out:

 

"You could leave now" I said in a shaky voice.

 

"Sorry Tiff I didn-"

 

"You could leave!" I shouted tears now coming out.

 

Jessica left me..

 

What will our friendship go to now?

 

Why did I even confess, if my life already gave me a hint that she's straight by her spazzing over Taecyeon?

 

Her intimate acts, the way she looks at me sometimes, her hugs.. Those were the clues that told me i might still have a chance.

 

Maybe life isn't worth living afterall.