Chapter 6

“Wait here … I’ll bring you something hot for drinking … It’ll make you feel a little bit better.” – Joon smiled kindly to him while Key was sitting on his couch and was just looking to the ground. After some minutes Lee Joon returned to Key with cup of hot chocolate in his hands. “Here you go … drink it while it’s still hot and sweet.” – Joon smiled to Key but Key still wasn’t looking up. Since they arrived at Joon’s place Key stopped crying and the only thing he did was staring in the nothingness, it kind of scared Joon because he was really worried about his best friend.

Suddenly Key’s phone started to vibrate on the table were Key put it not long ago. The diva took the phone and when he was the nickname ‘Taeminnie’ written on the screen his breathing got rapidly, he got really angry and in that moment he threw his phone to the wall. His phone crushed on pieces. Just then Key started to cry again and hugged his knees. Joon hurried and hugged him tight.

“Key please don’t cry, he’s not worth it … Just … don’t cry because when you cry … I just want to start to cry too, to at least take the half of you pain away by letting it inside of me … I want to see you smile Key, I want to see you happy like before you fall in love in Taemin … I want to take that pain away … even for little bit …” – then a tear dropped from Joon’s eyes. Key felt it when it landed on his cheek, making him lift his head up, looking at his face confused.

“Joon I …” – Key didn’t have the opportunity to say something else because he was cut off by Lee Joon’s lips. While Key was trying to understand what was happening, Joon gently pushed him on the couch so that now he was lying on top of him. – “What are you doing …” – Key pushed him harshly .Joon just stared at him, sighing. – “I-I …I don’t feel the same way Joon-ah … I don’t feel the same way toward you …”

“So you love him, Taemin, the one that had never felt the same way about you … the one that doesn’t ever realize about your feelings … like he’s blind … and … the one that obviously is now with Jonghyun …” – Joon said angry and bent over Key who was still lying under him. – “So you excepted that … but you’re not excepting me … the one who loves you and will do everything for you … That was and will be always by your side … Why can’t you see me Key …” – Joon said in a small voice, almost like a whisper.

“Lee Joon …” – Key murmured but Joon interrupted him again.

“It’s just not fair … I didn’t even got the change to tell you about my feeling before because I was scared … and now … my fear is coming true when you’re rejecting me in that way … I didn’t even got a chance to prove you how much I love you …” – After his words they both stayed silent and were just staring at random object, not looking each other in the eyes, thinking about their words, actions and etc.

“You’re right …” – Key said quietly after a long time, breaking the silence that was surrounding them. – “We can try …”

“W-What …” – Joon asked surprised.

“Us I mean … let’s just … try …” – Key said and looked him. He smiled brightly and hugged Key tight. The diva wasn’t actually sure about all of that but … He thought that if he had the chance to be with Taemin, even for a small period of time, he would be really happy. This thought helped him to put himself on Joon place and feel how he was feeling.

“Thank you Key!” - Joon murmured in the hug and kissed his cheek lightly.

In the dorm everyone were really worried about Key, well Jong not so much but still. They were walking around, making phone calls to different friends, asking them if they had seen Key or Joon soon. They tried to call Key and Joon but their phones were off.

“It already 22:00 … He is gone for about six hours. He’s not even in Joon apartment. Where could he be?” – Tae said worriedly, walking back and forward.

“Tae … if you keep on like this you’ll make a hole on the floor.” – Jong said annoyed.

“But it’s our fault … He must have been shocked when he …” – Tae could finish his sentence because Jong put his hand on his mouth and shushed to him.

“When he what Taemin …what were you going to say …” – Onew asked little bit angry because he was nervous after all the worries about Key. – “Did you two did or said something bad to him … Actually we saw when he was dragged by Joon and we saw your room’s door opened … What happened …” – Onew asked with cold voice, not shouting, trying to keep calm.

“It none of your business …” – Jonghyun snapped and took Taemin’s hand in his, leading him out of the door.

“Jonghyun … Damn it …” – Onew shouted angry because Jong and Tae already left before he could ask them again.

“Hyung … what are you doing? We should’ve told them. At least they would understand why Key hyung was so shocked. They all thing that we both are straight and now … we are dating … It normal for Key hyung to react like that but I’m still worried as hell.” – Tae said tone that Jong had never heard from him before.

“Our relationship is not their business Taemin-ah …”

“But they are out best friends … If we can’t tell that to them … then to whom … Nor do you want to be secret …”

Jonghyun was going to scream at him but he realized that the younger one had a point, they can’t hide it forever. Jong sighed and looked at Taemin then caressed his cheek.

“I’m sorry … I just don’t want to tell them now …” – Tae smiled a little and nod his head, although that he knew that he didn’t like the fact that Jong was trying to hide their relationship from their friends. – “Now try to thing about a place that Onew and Minho haven’t searched and we could go and look for Key. A place that he like or often goes to …” – Taemin though about for a moment.

“He loves to go to the dance studio when he’s upset or to the park near his old school, sometimes he even likes to go in the library of our school, so he could read about his favorite stuff all night.”

“Ok … we can start with the dance studio …” Jong said and they quickly got into his motorbike and drove away. They searched for about one or two hours but could find him.

When they got back to the dorm Tae lay on his bed and tried to think about some other place to look for him. Then he suddenly remembered something that Key told him long time ago”

“I always have liked to sing and dance and usually when I’m feeling down I go in the dance studio and dance till I can’t stand on my feet anymore ... But sometimes when I’m REALLY sad, I love to go to a special place near on of the bridges of the Han river. When I’m angry or want to get out of my head all the bad things I just catch the railing, I close my eyes and scream from the bottom of my lungs. This really helps me feel better… makes me feel … free … But please don’t tell anyone about this, you’re the only person I’m telling it to.”

“Of course … the special place …” – Tae screamed more to himself but Jong was in the room and heard him loud and clean. Tae quickly stood up from the bed. – “He could be on his favorite place …” – Tae took his jacket and rushed out of the dorm, ignoring the screams from his hyungs. – “TAXI …” – the maknae yelled when he saw a cab getting closer. He got into it and tell to the driver to drive as fast as he could top the middle side of the Han River.

He arrived after a few minutes and then he started to search for Key. – “But where exactly is this place …” – Tae growled and just started to walk around and try to see his best friend.

“Joon-ah … you took me to a restaurant, to the movies and to eat an ice cream … It was lovely first date but … I want to be alone for a while so … can I go for a walk …” – Key said when he turned to face Joon who was walking beside him.

“I can’t come?” – Joon raised and eyebrow, Key just smiled and nodded. Joon sighed and smiled at him too. – “Ok but don’t be too long or I’ll come and hunt you and then I’ll be really mad at you …” – Joon said with a serious expression which made Key laugh.

“I promise I’ll get back soon.” – Key smiled at him again and then walked away.

Key just wanted to be alone and think about everything that had happened in that day. Taemin and Jonghyun, Joon’s confession and their first date, about himself and him feelings … He was walking to his favorite place slowly thinking about all of this and just then he saw small familiar figure sitting on a bench. It was Taemin and Key was sure about that but he still wanted to get closer so he could be sure.

“Where is hyung … Is he even here … maybe this is the wrong place …” – Tae thought and stood up but just when he was about to leave he froze on his place after sawing Key.

“Hyung …” – Tae yelled excited, run to him and hugged him. – “Why hyung … Why did you left just like that? You didn’t let me explain the situation … Do you know how worried I was … how worried were the others too …” – Tae said with an angry voice and then he stepped away from Key when Key didn’t hug him back.

“Are you the one who supposed to be angry right now Taemin …” – Key thought and looked at him with emotionless face.

“Now I want to be alone. I don’t want to talk with anyone, especially with y- … people who don’t understand me …” – Key snapped with cold voice. Key turned around so he could walk away but Tae grabbed his arm and stopped him.

“Key wait … please just let me explain to you …” – Key just stood there with wide eyes.

“You – You just called me Key … You never call me Key … Key hyung yes but … only Key never …” – Key said without turning back to face Taemin. – “Why did you called me Key, Taemin, in that way I’ll want you to tell me that every single day while you are hugging me and kissing me but now you’re going to do that with Jonghyun … When you call me hyung at least I feel like it will never happen and it’s easier for me … but when you’re calling me Key … It’s like giving me false hopes.” – Key was silent for a while and then said.

“Ok … let’s talk … but not here … Lets go in some café.” – Key said little bit more kindly but he still didn’t look Taemin. – “If you tell something, if it’s the thing that I will never want to hear, at least let’s go somewhere else, not here. This is the only place where I can be alone with myself, to get my thoughts straight, to pout all of my feeling. You can break my heart but it won’t be on the only place where I can be happy.”

They saw a café not far away from them and sat there.

“I and Jonghyun hyung are dating …” – Tae said quickly after the waiter brought them their orders. – “I know it’s shocking and weird but … it’s not a reason to get angry hyung … It will be hard for all of us to get used to this … but … can you at least try to understand it … I know that you got angry because you were shocked and because I didn’t tell you before ‘cause you’re the person who I trust the most but this time … I don’t know it was so weird to me that I thought that you will thing for me as a weirdo … And surely don’t want that … I know it will be strange for you because you like girls after all and …” – Tae was cut off by Key.

“I don’t girls Taemin … but anyway … Do you want to know the real reason why I will move out …”

“You’ll what …” – Tae asked surprised, with a sad expression.

“Do you know what … I didn’t go back home tonight and won’t come back because I realized something … When you’re with Jonghyun now, I’m needless, I don’t belong to that dorm anymore …” – with little angry voice said Key.

“What are you talking about hyung …?”

“Taemin think about it … Onew and Minho are always together – they eat together, sports together, shopping together, watching TV together … and now, when you’re with Jong you’ll become like this too, I’m pretty sure about that. And what am I going to do? I’m needless in your picture of the future in that dorm.” – Key said in a low sad voice but still kept his strong face.

“Key hyung don’t say such things … It won’t happen I’m sure about that … At least I promise to never ignore you. Please hyung, don’t leave the dorm. It will be so dark and empty without you.” – Tae begged and Key was on his way to break and allowed to the younger one to play with his head but Key was going to be strong and he wasn’t going to give up.

“Even if you try your best not to ignore me I’ll feel spare …” – Key said and then thought: - “And it will be so hard for me to see you with Jonghyun every day …”

“But …”

“I’m moving in with Lee Joon …” – Key said in a little angry voice and then stood up and walked out of the café.

Taemin got back into the dorm with sad expression.

“Taemin where were you, we were so worried …” – Minho said and Jonghyun run throw him and hugged Taemin.

“Yes …” – Tae said quietly and the others just stared at him worriedly.

“So where is he, why you’re not with hi- …” – Onew was interrupted by Taemin.

“Hyung is moving out …” – Tae said with sad expression and shifty-eyes.

“WHAT?” – Onew, Minho and Jong shocked in unison.

“What do you mean moving out …But why … With who …” – Onew asked confused.

“Let’s talk about that tomorrow Ok … I’m really tired right now …” – Tae went to his room and tried to fall asleep but he couldn’t. He didn’t know why but the thought o Key not living with them anymore sort of scared him. He really didn’t want that. Key’s words repeated in his head again and again.

It’s been already a week since Key left the dorm. Everyday they were all sitting and waiting Key to change his mind and move in again but Key didn’t even consider that idea as possible. Not before he try to at least get rid of the half of his feeling toward Taemin.

“Hyung … do you thing Key would come back soon … I really miss him.” – Tae asked Jong while they were walking to the university, holding hands.

“I don’t know Minnie … I really don’t.” – While they were walking suddenly they saw Key and Lee Joon and they too were holding hands.

When Joon and Key saw them, Joon squeezed Key’s hand tighter and looked at him for a moment then back to the other couple.

“Key hyung …” – Tae almost yelled and hugged Key but Key still didn’t let go Joon’s hand. – “Why are you holding hands …” – Tae asked and looked at both of them.

“Do you remember when before one week I told you that I was moving on with Lee Joon … Maybe I had to tell you that I’m moving in with my boyfriend so you would be so surprised when you see us …” – Key said. With that words Tae let go of Jong’ hand and stared at the couple with shocked expression. Tae didn’t know why but he felt sharp pain in his heart when he heard that.

“Since when are you together …” – Jong asked with a smile.

“Since one week …” – Joon smiled to. But on that moment they were the only ones who were smiling. Key was watching the ground and Taemin was still looking shocked.

“It was nice to see you but we have to go … Come on Key.” – Joon said with sweet voice which made Keys smile and they went to their next lectures they had together.

“Taemin are you alright?’ – Jonghyun asked him concerned.

“Y-Yeah … I’m fine … Let’s go …” – Jong smiled at him and nodded.

After lectures Joon and Key went home. They both sat on the couch cuddling while they were watching TV.

“Key what do you want to watch while I’m preparing dinner … Key … Key …” – Joon called him, Key stood up and looked at Joon.

“Joon I can’t do this … I can’t … I … I miss him so much … I don’t care if he’s with Jong. I prefer to see him with Jong every day then to not see him at all … I don’t want to be away from him, I thought I wanted it but I don’t.

“What …” – Joon looked him like he was crazy.

“I’m not saying to over everything between us Lee Joon-ah … I just want to go back to the dorm … I miss all of them … not only Taemin.” – Key said in a whisper but it was still loud enough for Joon to hear him.

“And watch you suffer every day. It’s not going to happen … I won’t let you.” – Joon got angry.

“Joon please … Please let me go back …” – Key took his chin, lifted his head a little and looked him in the eyes. – “Please …” – Lee Joon sighed because he saw the desire in the others eyes to go back there.

“If you really want this …” – Joon smiled at him and then Key kissed him while smiling.

“Thank you Joonie, thank you.” – Key hugged him and Joon smiled brightly.

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Chapter 6 is done :) I'm really sorry I couldn't update any faster

The thing is that my older brother got home about a week ago and I couldn't write because my family don't know what I'm writing ( you know what I mean of course :D ) . My parents don't understand English but my brother knows it ... VERY WELL actually and I just couldn't take that risk - to write when he's home. But yesterday he went back to the city he's learning in and I'm free - not only to write :D ;)

Usually when he turned around I was like - really childish I know but I couldn't help it sometimes :D