What is love…? How does it feel like…?

These questions used to make me ponder at times, to the point that I almost not believed in love. I was never introduced to that strong affection or attraction to that of the opposite . All of my friends told me that I was too immersed in my dancing that I couldn’t see it even if it walked right in front of me. Well, they were probably right, at that time. My passion for dancing and music had burned out all of my other feelings.

But it wasn’t all true, my first love actually knocked on my door at an unexpected time and place. I was suddenly pulled into that feeling of desire, warmth, happiness… well, love. At that moment, I totally believed in love at first sight. How could I not?

It all happened on that one spring, Monday morning. I was in my freshman year at a local university and it was the start of a new semester. Like always, I had the Monday blues. I’d be having morning classes five days a week for the whole semester. I could never snuggle back up inside my blanket and sleep in because if I woke up late, I would miss the morning bus, and if I missed the morning bus, then I’d be late for class.

Even though I wasn’t enthusiastic that day, the clear blue sky, the warm rays of the sun, the blooming flowers, and the scent of fresh cut grass, somehow lifted my mood a little. As I made my way towards the bus stop, my steps gradually became lighter. With my backpack slung on my left shoulder,  I had a feeling that it would be a good day. I even greeted a total stranger who was walking their dog.

When I arrived at the bus stop, there was no one else except me. Well what could I expect, I lived at a small neighborhood and not many rode the bus. I immediately sat down at the bench and took out my earphones. There was still around eight minutes until the bus arrived, so might as well listen to some music.

I was tapping my fingers on my thighs and was slightly bobbing my head to the beat as I observed the surroundings. Then something, or should I say someone, caught the corner of my eyes. There was a petite girl wearing jeans and a light blue blouse, carrying what looked like a sketchbook and one of those canvas tubes.

She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. With the sun shining at her back, made her looked an angel that just came down to earth. Even the way she walked was so graceful and flawless. As she came near towards the bus stop my heart was suddenly beating faster. I was wondering if she was new around the neighborhood and if she was going to take the bus as well. I didn’t notice that my mouth was hanging open and that the music had stopped.

As I gazed at her from afar, the thing attracted me was her neck line and her raven black hair, which flowed down in waves. To me, they way it bounced on her shoulders as she walked were really attractive. It may sound weird but somehow, her worn out sling bag added a nice touch to the picture as well.

I was still staring at her when she finally sat down a few inches away next to me. I guessed she noticed me observing her because she smiled and gave me a morning greeting. I smiled and greeted her back, trying hard not stutter.

Those eyes as black as ink were framed with long lashes and were twinkling and emitting warmth. She also had a cute double chin, pink lips, straight nose – a picture of perfection I should say. At that moment, I knew I had fallen in love.

The stupid thing is, I was speechless and couldn’t utter another single word to her no matter how much I wanted to get to know her. For the first time in my life, I was nervous sitting next to a girl. My hands were getting sweaty and I kept glancing at my watch. I sighed in relief when the bus arrived a couple of minutes later, or else I would run away to hide my reddened face.

She stood up first and stepped into the bus while I followed a few steps behind her.  She took the middle single seat and I decided to take a seat a back. Along the ride to the university, I kept gazing on the back of her head, wondering. What major was she taking? Did she live near my house? Would I see her again tomorrow?

From that day on, my days were never the same and my friends told me that I looked happier somehow. They totally guessed that I had fallen in love. They urged me to introduce myself to her, but I never had the courage. For weeks I observed her from afar, we did exchange friendly greetings once in a while but it only stopped at that.

I was getting restless, would I ever get the chance to get to know her? Well, I did get my answer, or an opening I should say. It was around the end of the month, I was waiting for the morning bus as usual but what made me wonder was that she hadn’t arrived yet and there was only a minute left until the bus arrived.

I was worried, she was never late. Did something happen? Did she get sick? Did I annoy her and decided to take the bus elsewhere?  Questions kept on swirling in my head and I didn’t notice the bus arrived until the driver honked on the horn.

Just as I was about to climb in, I saw her. She was running towards the bus as if her life depended on it. I told the driver to wait for a minute, but what I didn’t expect was that she tripped when she was just a few steps away from the bus. It was a good thing that I hadn’t stepped into the bus yet, or else I wouldn’t be there to catch her.

I asked if she was okay, she merely nodded as she straightened up. I thought her flustered face was really cute at the time. She thanked me before swiftly stepping into the bus and politely apologized to the driver. I was goofily grinning as I followed her.

Unexpectedly, she sat at one the double seats this time, and the seat next to her was free so I decided to sit down next to her. I bravely introduced myself and asked again if she was alright. She gave the most breath taking smile as she introduced herself back and answered all of my questions. I was extremely happy that I get to talk to her that day.

From then on, our friendship blossomed. I get to know her better and I was comfortable in sharing everything I had. Day by day, I was able to see her true self bit by bit. She was a warmhearted girl and was full of charms. I couldn’t help but to fall even deeper.

The sad thing was that it was a one-sided love. I admit that I was a coward. As much as I want to, I just couldn’t tell her how I felt. I was afraid that if I told her, it would drive her away and that we would grew apart, so I decided not to tell her. For months I kept it inside and watched her from the side. We never really get pass friendly.

One morning, as I arrived at the bus stop, I saw her sitting down on the bench alone. I was about to greet her when I noticed that she had a troubled expression. She really didn’t look good and it my heart ached. Somehow I felt that I need to take good care of her.

Slowly I sat down beside her and asked what was wrong. Softly she answered that something was troubling her and it concerned me. Then she smiled and said that it was nothing important. Upon hearing her answer, I became more curious and was a little frustrated. I told that it was okay, and that she could tell me what was going on, as a friend. She sighed before telling me that she didn’t know how to say it and that maybe she would tell me about it later. She then asked me to meet her at the front of her house later tonight.  

For the whole day, I couldn’t concentrate on doing anything. I kept on wondering what she was going to tell me. So that night after dinner, I went straight to her house, with the permission of my parents of course, and she was already there waiting for me.  

As I approached her, she gave me a nervous smile. I asked her again if there was something wrong. She shook her head and said that nothing was wrong; she only had something to tell me. I looked at her slightly puzzled as she went silent. Then out of the blue, she told me that she had been observing me lately and that she actually liked me for a while now.

I was speechless when I heard what she had to say. I realized that it was a one-sided love for the both of us. I felt so happy and relieved that my eyes got all misty. Then, giving her a soft smile, I hugged her. I told her that I had truly fallen in love with her from the start, on that morning at the bus stop.