I’m Sorry For This Happy Feeling

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9ro1KjkJMg

The night sky was twinkling with stars on it. Leaves were falling to the bench where i and him sat on.

“I broke up with her.” He sighed. He rubbed his face in desperate. I could sense that he’s not really happy with that. But why I’m feeling there’s this butterfly that flying or whatever it doing in my stomach, making my stomach twitched .

Yes, I’m feeling happy after heard what he said. I almost jumping in happiness if I don’t control my self properly. I’ve been secretly fallen for him for I don’t know how long it was. But I’m pretty sure he didn’t know it, yet. When the time he said he’s dating with her, my heart broke into pieces. But I always pretend nothing happen to me, I was smiling wide and even congrats them. What a fool I am.

Just when I want to pat his back, suddenly tears formed in his eyes. My heart flinched, I’m feeling bad for having this happy feeling. Is it wrong to feel happy if someone that I loved for these times secretly breaking up with his girlfriend? Someone that I thought didn’t match with him at all?

“A-are you alright?” I bit my lips trying to hide my shaky voice. I couldn’t see him like this. I stood up in front of him and lifted his head to facing me. “Do you really love her?” I said softly. I hope it’s ‘no’. He smiled bitterly, “Yes, I was. But I think we can’t make it already after all the 2 years we have passed. I’m feeling so sad because I can’t keep this relationship anymore. I’m failing.” He sobbed.

“So don’t need to cry. You could find someone else. “ you blurted. “Yeah like someone that stand in front of you right now. But I’m sure you’ll never see me.” I thought.

“There is still a lot of girls that perfect for you. It’s just about time Jun.” I continued. Suddenly I felt something wram wrapped my body, “He’s hugging me?!?!” I mentally spoke to my self. “Jun….” I whispered. “5 minutes. I just need this for 5 minutes.”

Unconsciously I hugged him back. Having him in my embrace, calming him are all my dreams that come true. He cried and so I did. We’re crying together, let our problems poured to each other’s shirt. Funny right? He’s crying for his girl and I’m crying for him, without even he released it.

“Are you feeling better now?” I broke the hug. He saw my watery eyes and touched my soaked cheeks softly . “Why are you crying?” he asked with confuse expression. “Nothing. It’s because I’m feeling sad for you too. You are my buddy bro!.” I playfully hit his chest. I couldn’t tell him the truth, for now.

“Lets go back to my office. It’s getting colder. You could catch a flu.” He said as pulled my wrist and dragged me to his car.

***

“Thanks God there’s no paparazzi that following us.” I sighed. I heard him chuckled, “Yeah, if they did. They might think that you are the reason why I’m breaking up with her. They would spread the news if you are my new girlfriend. And I don’t like it” he said.

I froze. “Of course. How could I?” I laughed nervously. “Was that meant he won’t me to be his girlfriend?”. I shrugged away those killing thoughts and walked to the kitchen, maybe a cup of coffee could relax me a bit.

When I was pouring the hot water from the water dispenser accidently it poured to my hand.

“Auch.” I exclaimed. Junhyung turned around to see me holding my hand that blowing cool air to the red spot. He suddenly took my hand and brought me to the bathroom, put my hand in the washtafle, the water fauced while rubbed my wound gently.

I flinched when he tapped the most burned spot. “Is it hurt?” he asked, looking at my eyes directly. “…Hm? A-a little.” I stuttered. Why is he doing this to me? God why?!

“Next time you need to be more careful, pabo.” He chuckled. I scrunched my forehead, “What? Pabo you said?” I frowned. He just shook his head and turned off the water fauced.

Then we walked to the studio room directly. “Wait a minute.” He said as he closed the door behind. I sat up on a chair while looking at the random buttons in front of me. “Meh. I don’t understand machine.” I mocked as I playfully pressed random buttons.

“YA! Don’t touch anything here.” I gasped at the sudden voice. “Oh it’s you. Geez” I rolled my eyes. “Can’t you just knock the door first?”

“I’m trying to help you here. Stop talking.” He said. He raised his index finger to me and gave a signal to approach him. “What?” I questioned. Again he only danced his finger to me. Finally I’m giving up. Suddenly he pulled me sat to beside him, but accidently I ended up landing on his lap. It’s really awkward.

I’m trying to get up but he pulled me back. “What? This is really uncomfortable Jun.” I whined. “Let me see your hand.” He didn’t bother what I said, only focusing to my hand in his hold. He took out a bandage and a burned-for cream. He carefully put on the cream and skillfully wrapped my wound with the bandage. “Wow.” I spoke in disbelieve.

I looked at him, checking if there’s something wrong with him.

“What?” he frowned. I smiled sheepishly. Don’t tell me how red my face is, please? “Thank you.” He suddenly spoke. Eh? “Thank you for being my buddy, to hear all my complains, helping solve my problems and many more.” I softened by his actions. “What? Don’t need to thank me. You silly.” I rolled my eyes.

“I’m thanking you too for helping me with this wound.” I lifted my bandaged hand. He chuckled, “It’s no biggie.”

I looked at him carefully, deep into his dark-brown eyes. Trying to find a glimpse of miracle, if there’s me in it. As for now, I will enjoy this moment. Although he don’t know what I feel for him, I’m hoping someday he will feel the same to me and could take to his side forever, just like this.

***