We Grew Up by huhudad

Reviewed by Avocado

Comments before reading:

That's a pretty gif, but it's not very unique. Seems like a space-filler to me.
The title is bland and not very catching either.
Also, the coloring of the fonts in the description is just distracting.  And I know a girl is a girl; there is no need for you to emphasize the stereotype that “girls like pink and boys like blue and that is how life works”.
Finally, Eunji is in the fic once, and Hoya is never mentioned.  They are not the right people to include in the list of characters at the beginning.

Graded:

Plot: ★★ (2/5)

The plot was rather typical.  It was quite predictable, actually.  There were random characters that popped in and out of the story with minimal significance, and there were some chapters that could have been skipped altogether (ex. I didn't find Chapter 5 to be very relevant).  The events don't seem to follow much chronology, and the flashbacks don't seem to be very far in the past (ex. Chapter 4 would fit much better if it were just part of the story and not a flashback).  It was not very interesting, and I was tempted to skim it all.
In short, it's jumpy and predictable, but there is a storyline that can be followed.

Characterization: ★ (1/5)

Your characters weren't relatable at ALL.  I'll start with Haneul.  She is insecure, cries easily, obsessive, and not very put-together.  Her brother/crush sleeps with countless women and hooks up with even more, and yet she isn't turned off by that?  Also, she just willingly gives one of Myungsoo's parters her clothes and then thinks it's perfectly moral to snuggle intimately Myungsoo immediately afterwords (while missing school for it).  Next is Myungsoo.  In the beginning his character is pretty stable: a player, older brother figure.  However, when the relationship turns from sibling to something more intimate, he fluxuates between someone who could be seen as a caring boyfriend and a complete jerk.  Finally, he is hypocritical and jealous in Chapter 10, when he sees a boy giving flowers to Haneul (I saw that as a "Get Well Soon" sort of thing).  Honestly, he has no right whatsoever to snap at her for accepting flowers while he's been mashing his mouth up against every girl he meets.  Finally, where is Hoya, and where did Baekhyun come from?
Overall, these characters are weak and stereotypical, and I couldn't really relate to any of them.

Flow: ★★ (2/5)

Like I said in the section about the plot, this was rather jumpy.  There seemed to be one part of Chapter 9 where it e paragraph into a 12-year time lapse describing how the characters grew up beautifully.  Also, the general punctuation and font choices made it an effort to read (see the grammar section for a more specific description on what this means).  Also, the random pictures that you insert into your stories (ex. Chapter 7) are very disruptive and unneccesary.  You should be able to describe what the place looks like, not have to use other people's photographs to show it.  It's not horrible, but it's not great.

Originality: ★★ (2/5)

I am giving you two stars for the seafood allergy (but really, seafood in lasagna? And she gets a fever as an allergic reaction? And she throws up to cure the reaction? Come on now), and your use of font colors in your Author Notes (though they are rather distracting).  This is a somewhat cookie-cutter plot with a couple twists.

Grammar/Punctuation:    (0/5)

Well, I think the rating speaks for itself.  The grammar wasn't so bad (maybe a 2-star) and the spelling was acceptable, but the punctuation and general typography of the piece was subpar.  You seem to have an affinity for your space bar, especially when it relates to commas and quotation marks.  I will give you an example from Chapter 1 (my changes are highlighted in brown/orange).

She let another sad sigh as she [I don't know if AFF messed up the formatting but you tend to have lots of extra spaces]  continued looking for the necklace . It has always been like that  ever since he was a senior in her school , he’d get a girl – more likely she’d throw herself at him - and he’d happily respond and take her in. In a matter of minutes they’d be making out heatedly [well you could use more passionate words here], but after he graduated, it  developed into random one night stands [a nightstand is a bedside table XD) and clubbing till early hours of the day.  He'd come home with hickies, shirts stained with lip gloss, or even not show up at all until the next morning.  This had almost become some sort of daily routine, and even though her heart was wounded whenever she caught him, it couldn’t help but beat for him.

So.  You have a lot of room for improvement.  I think if you get yourself a beta this rating would go up at least 2 stars.

Overall: ★/★★ (1.5/5)

I used this category as an assessment of my general enjoyment of the fic, and its readability.  This wasn't the most pleasant read, and I probably won't reread it or subscribe, but it is your first venture into the world of writing fic, and I am a harsh critic.

As for your other fic (which you requested), I'm not going to do a full review, but I will comment a bit here.  You write very cliche characters.  The female role is weak and insecure (like in this one) and the male role is a cheater (like in this one).  Another cookie-cutter plot as well.  You did a bit better on the formatting and punctuation (and it improved as We Grew Up went on as well) so I see that you are learning quickly.  Write more, and try to get more creative with the characterizations.  I'm sorry if this review seems scathing, and I might have been rather harsh, but that's what you came here for, right?  Best of luck with your writing!  Avocado