"It was all my fault," Taekwoon whispers. "It was always my fault." He sniffs and swipes away tears. Wonshik, speechless, can only stare broken-heartedly at Taekwoon, wishing he knew what to say. Hakyeon was right but… also wrong. Wonshik fidgets with the edge of his jacket. "He can't walk anymore," Taekwoon says, his voice even fainter than before. "Because I lost my temper."

Wordlessly, Wonshik reaches out and puts a hand on Taekwoon's quivering shoulder—and Taekwoon breaks. Suddenly all the gentleness in his voice is stripped away and he howls, hot tears streaming down his face. At first Wonshik wants to pull away in surprise, but he doesn't, instead wrapping Taekwoon in his arms as best he can, susurrating soft comforts into Taekwoon's ear. Taekwoon's cries rip violently from his throat and right through Wonshik's heart. "I hate myself," Taekwoon wails. "I ruined Hongbin because I'm a ing loser who can't just say what's on their mind."

Wonshik rubs comforting circles into Taekwoon's back. He honestly doesn't know what to say—it feels like Taekwoon's entire heart has been ripped open and spilled onto the floor of the car. The car that crushed Hongbin. And there Taekwoon sits, in the very seat where Hongbin lost his ability to walk. Wonshik feels tears slipping out of his own eyes so he squeezes them shut. "You loved him," he murmurs into Taekwoon's hair.

"More than he ever knew," Taekwoon gasps, his body wracked with held back sobs. "If only I could take back time." Taekwoon buries his face in the crook of Wonshik's neck, tightening his arms around him. Wonshik exhales steadily through his nose, feeling the sturdiness of Taekwoon's body shake like a leaf. "If only I could take back time," Taekwoon repeats.

Wonshik doesn't know how long he holds Taekwoon for. He waits with Taekwoon in his arms until Taekwoon's tears subside and they pull apart, Wonshik wiping away a few stray salty tears off Taekwoon's face with his thumbs. It's strange to see Taekwoon's eyes so red and puffy, but it doesn't bother him one bit. If anything, it only makes Taekwoon seem more beautiful. Seeing him break down and tell about Hongbin reminded Wonshik that Taekwoon is human, too. He has flaws and scars and painful memories, just like everyone else.

Before all this, Wonshik had viewed Taekwoon much like an antique teacup—a piece of fine china. Delicate, pale and beautiful. But now, after looking closely, he can see the cup has chips and cracks and the handle was hastily glued back on. It's not perfect like he thought. Taekwoon's not perfect. Wonshik gives a sad smile. "Why are you so afraid of loving?" he asks in a gentle whisper, holding Taekwoon's face in his hands.

Taekwoon shakes his head. "I don't know," he mumbles, shrugging and looking down.

Pathetic, but Wonshik accepts it. "If you love someone, you have to show it, even if you end up hurting." As Wonshik says this, it dawns on him that it's exactly what's happening with him. Wonshik loves Taekwoon—so much. Despite the fact that they'd only just met, Wonshik knew there was something more for them. He knew that Taekwoon would care for him, too, but perhaps it just didn't occur to Wonshik that it wouldn't be the same kind of romance that he felt. Wonshik feels a part of his heart collapse in on itself.

Taekwoon will never love him the way he loves Hongbin.

"Wonshik, you're crying," Taekwoon whispers. "Why?"

"I love you," Wonshik chokes. He wants to kiss Taekwoon until their lips are raw, but he can't bring himself to. It would hurt too much.

"I'm sorry," Taekwoon weeps, running his fingers through Wonshik's soft hair almost nervously, trying to calm both himself and Wonshik down. "I am so sorry."

"No," Wonshik says, catching Taekwoon's hands in his own. "Don't be. I can still love you even if you love Hongbin more than me. I'm just happy knowing you exist." Wonshik's voice dies as something inside him lets go, realizing that Jung Taekwoon, this fine china, never was and never will be in his possession. "I think we should go now," Wonshik says, putting Taekwoon's hands on the wheel. "It's getting dark."

Taekwoon nods, looking down and adjusting his hands on the steering wheel. He heaves a sigh and Wonshik can almost see the air shift around Taekwoon as he pulls himself back together and slips into his guarded demeanor. Taekwoon backs out of the driveway and starts on his way back to Wonshik's apartment. He asks for directions as they pass by the university, and Wonshik gives them and before long, Taekwoon slows to a stop in front of Wonshik's apartment building.

They sit in silence together for a long moment. Sighing, Wonshik reaches for the door handle.

"Thank you," Taekwoon blurts awkwardly, suddenly turning to Wonshik with eyes b with bright emotion. "For everything." Taekwoon gulps. "Thank you for listening to what happened with Hongbin. I've… never told anyone." Taekwoon looks down at his lap.

Wonshik bites his lip, fighting the tears about to reappear. "I'm glad you told me." The smile Wonshik gives next feels like it tears him in two, splitting him right down the middle and halving his heart. Without warning, Taekwoon lunges forward and grabs Wonshik's shirtfront, pressing his lips to Wonshik's with an air of need. The kiss tastes like regret, sorrow and an apology, and Wonshik is the first to pull away, opening his eyes just in time to catch a glimpse of Taekwoon's soft eyelashes brushing the tops of his cheeks, his red lips barely parted. How can such a person exist? Wonshik thinks, feeling something akin to horror tightening in his chest. Quickly, Wonshik throws open his door and gets out into the cold, slamming it behind himself and starting immediately up the stairs. He runs up them as fast as he can, hiding the tears streaming down his face. He reaches his apartment and wrenches the door open, letting it shut heavily behind himself.

Hakyeon jumps up from the sofa, tossing his laptop onto the cushion beside him in surprise. Wonshik leans against the door, heaving great shuddering sobs. His eyes burn and sting and he can barely catch his breath. He slides to the floor and curls in on himself, shoulders shaking violently.

He cries for it all—out of sympathy for Taekwoon, out of anger towards himself, out of the pain of his crumbling heart. He can't believe just how short-lived being with Taekwoon was, yet it hurts more than anything in the world. This is stupid, Wonshik scolds himself, burying his face in his knees. How could he not see it? How could he not see that Taekwoon's mind had always been somewhere else, with another person? So detached, so cold, so beautiful. Wonshik hugs his knees. "I'm so stupid," he howls. Stupid for falling so hard in love.

Hakyeon takes a hesitant step towards Wonshik, unsure. "Wonshik…?"

Wonshik responds with an agonized wail. Hakyeon runs forward and drops to his knees in front of Wonshik on the doorstep. "Hey," he says, taking Wonshik by the shoulders. Hakyeon's hands shake ever so slightly—he's never seen Wonshik cry like this. It terrifies him. "What happened?"

Wonshik shakes his head. "You were right," he sobs. "There was someone else before me."

Hakyeon knits his eyebrows, confused. "How does that change anything? Why are you crying now?" Hakyeon scoots just a little closer to Wonshik.

Wonshik sniffles and wipes his nose on the back of his hand. "Taekwoon told me about what happened."

Hakyeon gives Wonshik's shoulders a light squeeze. "What happened?" he asks in a gentle voice.

Wonshik takes a deep, steadying breath and Hakyeon squeezes his shoulders again. "There was a car accident," Wonshik begins, and Hakyeon nods. "Six months ago. Taekwoon was dating this guy Hongbin at the time, and they went out to dinner one night. Hongbin asked if he could drive the car home and Taekwoon agreed, but at an intersection in the outskirts of town they stopped at a red light and Hongbin said to Taekwoon then that he feels like Taekwoon has never loved him and wants to break up." Wonshik sniffs and Hakyeon looks with concerned eyes at Wonshik's red face. "So Taekwoon gets angry, right? Anyone would. He grabs Hongbin's wrist as they're going through the intersection and Hongbin slams on the brakes and—and another car comes and hits them. Smashes the driver's side door." Wonshik's voice trails off.

"And what happened to Hongbin?" Hakyeon asks.

"The collision shattered his left hip beyond repair. H-Hongbin can't walk anymore, and Taekwoon blames himself for everything." Tears well in Wonshik's eyes again. "But Taekwoon never stopped loving him."

Mutely, Hakyeon leans forward and wraps his arms around Wonshik as he disintegrates into tears again.

Hakyeon doesn't even know what to think, other than that he and Wonshik are just alike. Cursed to love another whose heart is in a different place, with a different person. It's cruel, Hakyeon thinks, but at the same time an unavoidable facet of life. You can't avoid your feelings. You can't ignore it when you like someone; life only lasts so long. Hakyeon knots his fingers in the hair on the back of Wonshik's head and breathes in his familiar scent.

"You know," Hakyeon begins, inhaling deeply. "We are not so different."

Wonshik pulls away from Hakyeon with raw eyes and Hakyeon gently pushes Wonshik's hair off his forehead. It breaks Hakyeon's heart to see Wonshik like this. To see him so destroyed over something so out of his control. The world broadens around Hakyeon and very suddenly he feels so very small, so very insignificant and very much at the mercy of whatever god or entity it is that controls fate. He can't change how Wonshik feels. He can't change how anyone feels and he can't mend the past or determine the future. Hakyeon feels his eyes begin to burn with saltwater. "That's bull," Wonshik mumbles. "You don't understand what this feels like."

Hakyeon inhales sharply and stands up, towering over Wonshik. Wonshik scrambles to stand as well, wiping his nose yet again on the back of his hand. "I know damnwell exactly what it feels like, Kim Wonshik," Hakyeon snaps. "Because I love you. But you'll never love me back because you only have eyes for Taekwoon." The confession jumps out of Hakyeon and although he desperately wants to, Hakyeon doesn't allow himself to cry. He shakes with raw anger and an inexplicable pain in his chest.

Wonshik's gut drops at Hakyeon's words.