Haven't you ever heard the saying if you love something let it go, if it comes back to you, it's yours if it doesn't it never was. Days and months passed by without you I don't know what to do I miss your smile,your laugh everything about you. Everyday the days pass by I feel that my body is slowly being drained out like I can't breath you don't know how much I regret letting you go I regret how stupid I was about all those hurtful words I said to you. I miss you so much without you it's like I'm in the darkness I feel numb. My eyes start to water remembering that day. Bringing my legs towards me baring my face tears streaming down my face.I had to do it I was never good enough for you, always with a smile on your face ready to face the world you had a loving family that loved you with all there hearts but, disowned you when they realized that you were with me the bad apple, the one without a family the cold,arrogant,bitter me you had everything but, let it all go for me why I never understood. I remember that day you first spoke to me you were the new kid in class second year of high school

(Flashback)

"students we have a new student with us today" I could hear the teacher saying but, didn't raise my head up just continued to stare out the window uninterested thinking you were probably the same as everyone else.

"Hello my name is Lee Chanhee but you guys can call me Chunji please take care of me" I heard you saying the students started to whisper oh he's so cute, what a nice smile he has, he's so handsome the volume of the class started to increase.

"students please quiet down Chanhee please take a seat beside um that boy with red and black hair" of course she wouldn't know my name the teachers never bothered to remember my name. I could hear the chair beside me shuffling turning my head to the side taking a look at you amazed at how smooth your creamy white skin looked plump red lips nice black hair that I inched to touch it but, resisted you turned your big black like eyes towards me are eyes connecting you did something that caught me of guard you smiled at me your perfect white teeth showing no one has ever done that since my parents died when I was a baby and ended up at the orphanage.

"Hi my name is Chanhee but you can call me Chunji what's yours" I didn't know how to respond people usually turned there backs on me so I choose to ignore you and stared out the window. You getting the message didn't ask me again.When it was finally lunch time everyone gathered around you like if you were a star while gathering my things I could hear them whispering a bit to loud you shouldn't go near him,stay away from that stupid ,don't waste your time on that monster,he might give you a disease getting fed of there insults I stood up hearing gasps of surprise I walked towards them some flinched walking right pass them out the class room I made my way to the only quiet place around the school. Sitting down on the grass I leaned my head on the tree closing my eyes didn't hear approach not even hear you sit down beside me until you spoke

"Hi" I opened my eyes glaring at you for following standing up to get away from you but you grabbed my arm I was shocked that you didn't listen to the others but didn't show it

"where are you going" you asked not wanting to speak I yanked my arm out of your grasp for you just to get a hold on it again getting fed up I pushed you on the tree.

"What the hell do you want" I growled out getting a hold off your collar noticing fear in your eyes

"I...just..wanted..to..know..if..you wanted to eat lunch..together" you stuttered releasing you I just walked away then turned over my shoulder to look at you shock,fear wide eyes were staring back me.

"don't ever do that again" I warned then walked away the next day you followed me again so I just decided to ignore you you sat down and ate your lunch offering me some to have me not accept it day and months passed by you followed me everyday and where alone the days I didn't go your smile still in placed even when the school drifted away no one willing to talk to you because you where with me most of the time. One day I couldn't take it anymore wanting to know why you where doing this I turned to you.

"why are you just sitting there when all I do is ignore you" I asked you looked up with a big smile on your face

"because I want to be friends"

"why it's not like I want to be friends with you" I replied rudely

"I want to be friends" you repeated again a pout forming on your face

"why you could be friends with anyone you wanted why me"

"because I just want to be" you said stubbornly

"well your not getting anything out of me" I said leaning back on the tree closing my eyes days passed I got used to you always being there then one day I arrived at school sitting down I waited for you to come but pretended like I wasn't like always 10 minutes passed and you still didn't arrive when the rang and the teacher walked in I couldn't help but feel disappointed I stared out the window for the rest of the class.When lunch finally arrived I made my way to the tree sitting down I leaned on the tree closing my eyes. My heart clenched feeling like something was missing like a part of me had been ripped out I clench my shirt where my heart was the day passed by with the same feeling then the week passed by with you not there. The start of the week arrived again walking into class I saw you sitting down in your seat looking down I walked to my seat and sat down you didn't turn a smile towards not a "hello" nothing I stared out the window confused when lunch came I walked out of class expecting you to follow when I looked back you where walking in the other direction my heart clenched did he give up on me I thought. Without thinking about it I walked towards you and grabbed your arm dragging you towards my spot forcing you to sit down when you refused. I turned your head towards me and gasped when I finally got a good look at you bruised lips scratch marks on your neck

"what happened" I asked

"nothing" you said turning your head to the side grabbing your chin I made you stare at me

"what happened" I asked again more firmly

"who hurt you" I asked again

"Chanhee answer me now" I yelled out you shaking your shoulders stopping when tears formed in your eyes I pulled you into a hug

"what happened" I asked softly your hair

"my...dad...found...out" you stammered out

"found out what" I asked

"that..I..don't..like..girls" he whispered shocking me

"what did you say"

"I'm...gay" he whispered my eyes grew wide

"they disowned me said I wasn't there son anymore" you cried on my shoulders bringing your head up wiping your tears away I leaned in to kiss you like how I wanted to for so long moving away panting for air you looked at me with those innocent eyes

"come live with me" I asked nervously for the first time having a job made it possible for me to be released from the orphanage at 16 to live by myself

"are you sure" you asked averting your eyes bringing your face up again I smiled for the first time leaning down to kiss you again I pulled away leaning my forehand on yours

"of course it is" I whispered kissing you again

(end of Flashback)

I sat on my bed in complete darkness and silence surrounding me you moved right in brought happiness to this apartment I signed happy that to night wasn't my work day and thought back to those school days when I used to smile I was never like you never getting good grades or listening in class you changed me my grades going up I was a whole different person enjoyed my time with you I was stopped in my thought when I heard the door bell ring reluctantly I got up heading to the door looking out the peep hole no one was there opening the door I looked down on the floor and found a bag picking the bag up and closing the door opening it finding food all my favorites I've been getting this ever since Chanhee left everyday for the past year. My stomach grumbled reminding me that I haven't eaten since yesterday going back to my bed food in hand I remembered the time I first said I love you.

(Flashback)

months had passed by but I never got the courage to say the words to you we decided to take a walk in the park heading out I held your hand bringing you closer to me you sat on the swing me getting behind starting to push you until we heard the ice cream truck you squealed like a kid jumping off the swing you turned towards me a wide smile on your face

"I want ice cream Jongie" he said jumping up and down I laughed he was so cute

"okay let's go Channie" grabbing your hand you getting a chocolate cone me vanilla I laughed at the scene in front of me ice cream dripping on the side of your mouth reaching up I wiped it off your face placing my finger in my mouth causing you to blush I laughed and leaned down to give you kiss

" I love you" came out of my mouth so easily for the first time

I have been waiting for you to say that" you smiled at me

"Then I want to hear you say it" Ice cream thrown in the trash I grabbed your waist bringing you closer

"I love you Jongie" you throw the ice cream in the trash and throw your arms around my neck bringing me down for a kiss

(End of Flashback)

Food finished I moved it away everything was so much easier back then none of this would of happened if your father and brother didn't corner me at the club I was working at the club that night the night I was so stupid for listening to them for believing all those lies they fed me. That night I ruined everything that mattered to me the only person I have ever cared about.

(Flashback)

I was working like any other day relief came over me when my shift finally ended excited to get back home to Channie getting out the back I was abruptly pushed toward the wall

"what the hell" I yelled at the two men in front of me

"shut up" one of them said and punched me in the face grabbing my face I yelled at them

"who the hell are you guys"

"you don't know who we are" one of them growled

"no"

" I'm your boyfriends father and he's his brother" the man said then punched me in the stomach

"what the hell do you want" I yelled

"what I want is my son back you that's what I want" he barked out

"your the one who disowned him left him to fend by himself" I growled

"shut the hell up he's one of you faggots and it's all your fault" He yelled punching me again

"he would be happier without you" his brother said

"leave him so he can come back to his family" His father growled

"no I won't" I growled out tears streaming down my face another punch to the face

"can't you see he can do so much better then you, you worthless piece of trash" he said punching me in the stomach making me fall on my knees out of pain

"leave him he doesn't care about you can't you see he just pity's you" His brother growled kicking me in the stomach that's not true it can't be no he loves me

"you think he loves you right well he's only pretending that's all" his father barked out

"leave him see it for yourself he won't come back to you" his brother said

" If you love him set him free can't you see he misses his family" His father baked kicking me multiple times blood now on my face

"I warning you you will see he won't come back" his brother punched me in the face both waking away leaving me getting up my body was in pain needing a drink I walked back into the bar not answering the questions my co-workers asked me drink after drink I drained my self in my thoughts finally leaving when they threaten to throw me out making my way home I stumpled and feel down many times before reaching our apartment walking in  you jumped up from the couch and gasp when you saw my face

"what happend Jongie" you asked worried you reached out a hand to touch my face but I slapped it away

"don't touch me" I growled out

"what" you asked confused trying to reach out to me again me puching you away

"I said don't touch me you liar" I shouted

"what do you mean liar" he asked

"you pity me don't you your just pretending to love me aren't you" I baked out

"that's not true I love you, you know that your drunk go to sleep" he begged

"no listen to me I don't need your pity"

"it's not pity" you screamed out

"yes it is you don't love me your disgusted by me aren't you"

"no I'm not" you cried out tears streaming down your face I shook my head not wanting to believe it see it for yourself he won't come back kept going throw my head

"leave" I shouted you stared at me wide eyed

"what" you asked staring up at me with those pleading eyes

"you heard me leave right now I don't love you anymore" I shouted running into the room snactching his suitcase I started to through his close into it you grabbed my hand but I yanked it away

"please don't do this" you cried out when I zipped up the suit case dragging it out the room I opened the door throwing the suitcase outside

"leave I don't want or need you here anymore"

"but" you pleaded more tears streaming down your face

"out now" I barked out pushing you out the door before closing it I heard you shout I love you I slumped down not wanting to believe it

(End Of Flashback)

I fall asleep alone tears on my face. Morning comes getting up I make my way to take a shower all clean I put on a pair of jeans and t-shirt looking at the clock it was noon having the urge to take a walk I put on my shoes grabbed my keys made my way out the door flinching when the sun hit me. Letting my feet take me I realized I was making my way towards the park me and Channie used to go arriving looking around no one was around. Making my way to the swing I sat down and started swinging myself rememberin the way Channie used to laugh he loved playing on the swing like a little kid stopping myself I sat there in silence closing my eyes when I felt that someone else was there. opening my eyes they winded when I saw him.

"Chanhee" I whispered out

"took you long enough to come here" he smiled a small smile not like his usually big smile

"I missed you I'm sorry" I said tears streaming down my face my throat was clogging up

"then why didn't you ever look for me" he asked softly standing I grabbed his hand to stand with me holding his hands in mine

"I thought you where happier without me when you never came back" I said

"That's not true I thought you never wanted me back" he tears in both of our eyes

"I was stupid I never should have said those things I really do miss you" I said

" yes you were very stupid" you said my cheek

"please give me a second chance I won't mess up this time" I pleaded

"promise"

"I promise I love you Channie" I said

"I love you to Jongie" he said with a big smile on his face which made me smile again tears of joy now streaming down our faces I leaned in to kiss him happy that I got the one I loved the most.

It over this is pretty long for a one shot to who ever reads it I greatly appreciate it :) Sorry for any mistakes