Dear Yifan,

            I’ve never really written a letter before, but I suppose now is better than never, and I’m pretty sure you’d rather see this than not.

            Or would you?

            I really don’t know, but I hope you do.

            So… um…

            You know, I always thought I was the one who was eloquent with words. But around you, I always became a tongue-tied idiot while you poured your smooth words over me, sweet like melted chocolate, until the bitter aftertaste remained.

            But it was always too late for me; I was swept away every time.

            Do you know, Yifan, how many times I tried to save us?

            I knew, every time you cheated on me, did you know?

            When you thought I was asleep on the sofa when you slept with Zitao in my bed?

            When you ed Chanyeol in the bathroom when you thought I was out buying groceries?

            You never were good at cleaning up after yourself, Yifan.

            And I can’t keep fixing the messes you made.

            I tried, Yifan, I really tried.

            I let you do anything, everything you wanted, hoping that you’d always return to me. That maybe you were bored with me, and you needed something different. Maybe I did something wrong. I still don’t know what it was. I wish you’d tell me, but I know you never will. You were always bad at