The beach was one of his favorite places to be. Particularly in the early morning when the tide was at its lowest and when the sun was just coming out to greet the earth with its warm, comforting rays of light. It was at this particular time that the beach was in its most peaceful state, giving him the most opportune moment to relax and just... think. The things he thought about ranged from many different things and usually depended on the current happenings in his busy life. And currently... something new had come up. A certain something he had never expected to happen, nor had it ever crossed his mind that it ever could. Yet, there it was.

Did he regret these new changes that came forth and shook up his world? Did he want to rewind and take back the choices that he made in that moment? No. His answer was an unchangeable, final 'no.' He wouldn't change anything that had just transpired for the world. Happiness is what he felt, a feeling that was rarely truly felt within the busy lifestyle of an idol. However, with that happiness came new worries he found himself now stressing over, yet he hid away those concerns from the rest of the members like he usually did. They did not need the extra stress in their own lives and the leader will always make sure that they continued to be comfortable.

He breathed in the salty air while stopping in his quiet walk along the sandy shore, closing his eyes to let the serenity of the scenery wrap its calming embrace around him. That particular morning was a somewhat chilly one, but a few layers was an easy solution to that problem. However, the chill still bit at his exposed face and would still sometimes send a shiver throughout his body. Still, he couldn't be more at peace with himself. To achieve peace did require some sacrifices, right?

Sacrifices. SHINee had made a lot of those. They had to leave their families at extremely young ages and still rarely saw them even now. They had to abandon almost all resemblances of a private, peaceful life the moment they debuted. Everywhere they walked, excitement would stir in the public eye-- sometimes good, oftentimes bad; the fans, the screams, the cameras, flashes, grasps, s, touches... But this was the life they chose, this was to be expected when one would think of the life of an idol. Still, he didn't think they were all aware of just how chaotic it could be.

And Jinki had to lead these children into the heart of it all, push and pull them through, help them back up when they fell, tell them that everything would be okay, and give advice in the worst of moments. He had practically raised them from their childhood into adulthood, especially Taemin, and had so many times where he wanted to break down and cry in his own stress. And often, he actually would while hiding away in their van or other places where he wouldn't be easily found. He was barely older than they were, after all. They couldn't have expected him to always be strong.

Things were better now, of course, now that they were all adults and could take care of themselves for the most part. He still gave advice and comfort when they came for it, he still took the lead when it was necessary, and he still kept the members from spinning into chaos. The members were all the more closer than before because of his continuous efforts, and because of all of their efforts together. Combined, they were a family that stuck with each other through the thick and thin. At least, he liked to think it that way.

With a heavy sigh, Jinki eventually found solace on a large rock close to the waves and pulled his legs to his chest while gazing out into the pretty colors of the sunrise. Where does SHINee go from here? Where will they be five more years from now? Will they drift apart or be even closer than ever before? He knew that the group wouldn't last forever, that their contracts would one day be over and that they'd all go their separate ways. However, he hoped that they would continue to stay in contact with each other. Was that too much wishful thinking?

He didn't know, and that was what scared him the most; the uncertainties of the future. Especially now that he had... grown even closer to one particular member of the group. Would it make or break their relationship of the future? What if something happened and they become so far apart that they became strangers to each other? He could not bear the thought of them being anything less than they currently were. It scared him. The leader was worried, stressed, terrified of the future.

And this was why he now had his face buried into his folded arms, taking calming breaths that sometimes hitched. But this was his life, this was how he lived. He could fool himself and take himself into the calmest of places. He could pretend that this gave him serenity. But in reality, his life was a storm forever brewing. This was his life.