Davichi - I can't love you or say goodbye

 

Her last words.

---

 

 

He smiled remembering his mother’s last words to him.

 

He was the type of guy who never broke his promises. He had a strong belief that one should always stay true to his words – or else there would be no point of saying it in the first place. But for the first time in his life, Lu Han wanted to break away from this mind-set; this mind-set that always caused him pain, problems, and inconvenience.

But never this much pain.

He was stuck in a loveless relationship, one that revolved around business and business only – for his part, anyway. It was a relationship that was inevitable; there was nothing he could have done to stop it or prevent it from happening.

His family owned one of the most successful businesses in the whole of China. They even had a popular chain of restaurants based in South Korea and Taiwan. In other words, he was filthy rich - but his father wanted more.

 

His father, the stoic cold-hearted man that once was filled with nothing but joy. Once - being the key word here.

Somewhere along the way, his father had grown to never being satisfied with anything. He had succumbed to the harsh reality of corporates and politics, and there was no turning back. So of course, when an opportunity to expand his company and connections came up – say, a marriage proposal – he just had to take it.

He just had to take it without even considering anything else, except his own benefits.

 

His smile faded.

 

The girl was the daughter of his father’s most recent business partner. She belonged to a family that was as successful as Lu Han’s, and merging the two companies together would be a great strategic business plan – something Lu Han’s entrepreneur side couldn’t ignore.

She was someone that Lu Han knew all too well.

They weren’t exactly best friends, but they weren’t strangers either. Their first meeting had not been a pleasant one, as Lu Han had been on edge that day, (his first semester in college proved to be more difficult than he had hoped, especially since he had to deal with his grandmother’s incessant naggings to get a girlfriend) so he had accidentally spilled red wine all over the poor girl’s pristine white dress. The latter, of course, was not very happy about that.

Oh how Lu Han longed to hear his grandmother’s poignant words again.

 

His brows furrowed.

 

Despite the hostile first encounter, she had actually saved his sister from getting into trouble. As far out as it sounded, she coincidentally appeared when the damsel in distress was being attacked by a couple of thugs. When he arrived at the scene, no bitterness was received (or reciprocated) and all grudges gradually died down. He was thankful - very thankful - that she had saved his sister. He could not handle losing her again.

That day was the start of many smiles. But now Lu Han felt smiling was an obligation.

To say that he didn’t love her would be a lie. She was strikingly beautiful, with fair skin and long dark hair, what guy wouldn’t be attracted to her? But contrary to this, what intrigued Lu Han about her was this alluring, almost mysterious presence only she possessed. He was captivated by her seemingly non-caring attitude and deep brown orbs that spoke volumes. As he got to know her, he discovered that there was more to her than what meets the eye. It just made him all the more curious.

He did love her – but that was all in the past.

 

Lu Han never would have imagined that he could fall out of love. He grew up learning and believing that you should always treasure love; it was something that was only given to the best of people and although it was hard, it was all worth it.

Love, it was all worth it.

But he wasn’t so sure anymore.

He always thought the idea was impossible; it was absurd to lose interest over someone just like that. The thought never really occurred to him. Shouldn’t love be a long term commitment? If so, then how could you suddenly just stop loving someone? He didn’t understand.

Now, he does.

 

Maybe it was because he hadn’t loved her strong enough, not nearly as much as she loved him. Or maybe it was because it was only a crush, a simple infatuation or admiration for her background and how she had saved his sister. But it didn’t matter anymore, for Lu Han knew that he had fallen out of love - and yet that fact could not change anything.

He was still with her. He was still the man standing beside her.

He was still the one who was loved by her.

This simple fact was the sole reason why Lu Han couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t.

 

He wiped a lone tear off his face.

 

He couldn’t break up with her because of his dad. He couldn’t break up with her because of the company. He couldn’t break up with her because of his conscience.

He couldn’t break up with her because of her.

She was holding him back, keeping him from his happiness. From freedom; something Lu Han never had the privilege of having.

 

It would be against his morals if he did so otherwise. He was eternally selfless, caring, and was always putting others before himself, before his own happiness. Besides, he owed her this much didn't he? She had saved his sister. And she needed this. He couldn't do this to her now after knowing all that she had been through. It was her last shot at happiness.

That was just how Lu Han was.

But it was okay, wasn't it? It was okay to endure everything, tolerate every single day just to keep her happy.

Just to keep her happy.

 

 

He closed his eyes.

 

“The moment you’re ready to quit is usually the moment before a miracle happens.”