Sunggyu held out his hand, allowing the pure, white snow to fall onto his palm. He counted the number of seconds needed for it to melt completely. With a gentle smile spread across his face, he shut his eyes. It was the coldest season of the year. However, instead of the end, it felt like a beginning. A beautiful beginning…

Someone appeared. 

“Patient Kim Sunggyu, you’re not allowed outside.” She chided.

He looked back at the girl clothed in her white uniform and smiled.

“I’m sorry.” He said sheepishly.

She shook her head before pushing him back into his ward. The wheels of the wheelchair were still stained with snow as it got left against the wall. She supported him professionally and helped him onto his bed. The two were in close proximity and usually, Hyori wouldn’t care about such stuff. It was all part of her job, anyways. However, she caught him staring at her intensely and that made her uncomfortable. She shifted away and he chuckled in realization.

“Hey. I just want to say thank you!” was what she thought she heard before walking out.

Sitting up with his pillow behind, Sunggyu took his notebook out.

The guy met a girl whom made his heart warm in the cold.

Satisfied, Sunggyu kept his book away. Lying in the bed, Sunggyu shut his eyes. When he reopened his eyes, he saw a white ceiling. And when he closed them, he felt as if a piece of black cloth has covered his world. It was suffocating. Therefore, he opened his eyes.

It felt better that way- to be able to see the world.

In all honesty, Sunggyu hated the hospital. He hated how it lacked vibrancy and how everyone here seems to be forever waiting. Some of them are waiting for their family and friends to drop by; some are simply waiting for their time to be up while others are just waiting for god knows what. He hated the smell of hospital because it was nauseating. The chemicals and sterilization appeared to him as to make everything clean so that they could wipe out someone’s existence every now and then.

However, there was one thing, or rather someone he loves in this white four-walled compound.

Her name is Kang Hyori.

-

“Hyori-ssi, you have not fed me today!” Sunggyu whined.

“Patient Kim Sunggyu, please wait a minute. I will serve your portion soon.” Hyori assured.

He just sat there and watched her hurry from one bed to another. It was fun to stalk her every movement. She was always panicky when she’s on duty and in his opinion, it was really cute. He registered her various expressions in his mental collection. He wanted a perfect dream tonight- just him and her. Unconsciously, Sunggyu looked down at her legs which brought her from bed to bed so quickly. Subsequently, he glanced back at his. Biting his lips, Sunggyu felt a part of him had died inside.

“Your food is here.” She said.

He looked up at her and forced a smile.

“Thank you.” He said.

“Enjoy your meal!” She replied and bowed down.

Sunggyu held the spoon and began digging in the bland food. Sometimes, he wondered whether the chef could even taste. The food has always been horribly bland. In addition, Sunggyu swore that the chef is a bore. His menu has more or less been the same and he noticed that it repeats every two weeks interval. Sunggyu’s eyes widened when he realized his spoon somehow ended up onto the floor. Bending over, he tried to pick it up. However, it was a little far from his reach. Sunggyu could have easily called for help but he wanted to do it by himself. It would have been embarrassing having to rely on someone for a simple task to pick up one’s spoon.

“Just a bit more.” He told himself as he stretched his fingers.

Then, Sunggyu lost his center of gravity and toppled over. He landed on the ground with a loud thud. Soon, he heard gasps everywhere and people started rushing towards him. He wanted to say that he could get up by himself, but he realized that he couldn’t.

Since before, he couldn’t.

Sunggyu watched how Hyori got more people, even a male nurse, just to get him back onto bed. He half-listened to her nagging to call her for help in future and that the help button is there for a purpose. Sunggyu wanted so much to tell her that he felt apologetic and useless. However, instead, he remained silent. He swallowed his words and forced a smile at her.  

 “I’ll get you a new spoon.” She said and left.

The guy felt utterly embarrassed before her that he wanted to die.

-

One night, Sunggyu found himself awake. He sat up on bed and scrutinized every corner of his ward. Looking to his right, past the patient he just got on talking terms with, he stared at the bright moon outside. Sunggyu felt a teardrop roll down his cheeks as he recalled how he used to run from street to street. He was the fastest runner back in high school.When he heard footsteps nearing, Sunggyu hurriedly wiped away his tears with his sleeves.

“Patient Kim Sunggyu, why are you awake?” she asked.

He turned back and asked, “Are my eyes small?”

She was taken aback by his question.

“No.” She answered.

He chuckled at her response, “Thank you.”

Then, Sunggyu felt a wave of tiredness overwhelm him.

“I am tired.” He mumbled as his droopy eyelids threatened to shut his eyes.

Hyori walked over and set his bed nicely. Gently, she laid him down. Sunggyu held onto her hand before she could leave.

“Thank you.” He said.

“You’re welcome. And goodnight Sunggyu-ssi.” She said.

“Not patient Kim Sunggyu anymore?” He thought silently to himself.

That night, Sunggyu fell asleep with a wide, idiotic smile spread across his face.

-

Sunggyu fished out his phone and opened his front camera. Staring at his own reflection, he smiled.

“Patient Kim Sunggyu, you’re not allowed to use your phone with flash in the hospital.” Hyori reprimanded.

“Sorry!” Sunggyu did a fake salute and kept his phone away.

“Look at my V-shape face.” He gestured to his sharp chin.

She flashed him a bitter smile before placing his food tray on the table.

“Eat more today.” She instructed and left.

Sunggyu polished his plate and smiled proudly at Hyori. She returned him a smile which caught him off guard. Sunggyu took out his notebook, opened it and removed his pen cap. Staring at his handwriting which changed slightly, he frowned.

The guy’s condition is getting serious but today, she smiled. And that was all that mattered today.

Putting down his pen, Sunggyu felt a gush of warm material up against his throat. Hurriedly, he grabbed the bag hanging by his hospital bed. Through his esophagus, everything he had eaten got flatly rejected by his stomach. The gastric juice burned his throat slightly and he felt disgusted. All the half-digested rice and food in the bag got cleared away by Hyori.

“Drink something warm.” She said.

And he did not say anything else that day.

-

“Mr. Kim, would you like to leave the hospital?” His doctor asked.

Looking up at him, Sunggyu’s eyes sparkled. He was finally presented with the opportunity to leave this darn place. He could do things apart from merely reading magazines and flipping through boring channels. It was like a prisoner given a chance to be let out of jail. The answer was obvious-or maybe not- when Sunggyu finally spoke.

“I will stay here.” He said.

“Mr. Kim. Are you sure about your decision? You do know that there’s nothing much we can do and at the moment, your quality of life is the only thin-” The doctor was not done speaking.

“I like it here.” Sunggyu confirmed.

The doctor was speechless for a moment. In his years of practice, Sunggyu was the only few to reject this offer.

“I respect your decision, Mr. Kim.” He said.

“Doctor Im, how worse will my body get?” he asked.

“To be frank, much worse.” came the answer.

“Thank you, Doctor Im.” Sunggyu said with a fake smile.

When he wheeled himself towards the door, the doctor stood up.

“Do you need me to-”

“It’s alright. I can do it myself.”

“Okay.”

Sunggyu stopped his wheelchair at a corner of the hospital. His body trembled as tears began to fall. He felt weak, useless and sick. Ever since Sunggyu was diagnosed with the disease, his life changed. Sunggyu changed. Everything changed. Symptoms surfaced bit by bit and slowly, his hopes of “Maybe, just maybe there would be cure” dimmed. It was like looking at the faraway rainbow and thinking it is not made up of rays. Then, when one walks towards it in hope to find it there to touch it with a victorious smile, he finds himself proven wrong.

Sunggyu tried. He tried so hard to fight against those medical facts. He once believed that an incurable disease could be cured. However, he was wrong. It seemed like since the start, he was destined to lose this battle. Now, he felt as if he was hit so badly that he doesn’t even have the energy to get up on the floor. Or rather, he no longer has the ability too. All he knew was he wanted to laugh at his old optimism and curse whoever above that put him through such pain.  

“Life is unfair. It’s freaking unfair! Why? Why me?!” He yelled hysterically.

1 in 17,000 and he must be the chosen one.

Hyori covered and turned away. She had heard of Sunggyu’s decision from Doctor Im when they passed by each other at the corridors. Sunggyu was not at his ward when she rushed to ward 7. Therefore, she walked around in hope of finding him. She didn’t know why but when she first saw him here crying, she unconsciously hid herself. Perhaps it was because Hyori knew that Sunggyu didn’t like people seeing him cry.

That night, Hyori cried too.

-

“Patient Kim Sunggyu, you are not allowed to sleep elsewhere outside your ward.” Hyori reprimanded angrily.

It was all an act.

Sunggyu looked up at her through his bleary eyes and smiled.

“Hyori-ssi, fancy seeing you here. Did you come especially for me?” He teased.

“Yes, yes.” She said and walked behind his wheelchair.

Sunggyu grabbed her hand from behind and stared straight into her eyes.  

“Thank you.” He said vaguely.

She couldn’t tear her gaze away from him because in his eyes, she saw something.  

“You’re thanking me too many times these days…” She said and looked away.

“Let’s go back. I am getting weary.” He turned back to face front as his eyes closed.

Hyori looked down at the man before her who was dozing off. She wondered if things were different if he wasn’t her patient. She couldn’t help but wonder how he felt like when he first heard his news. She couldn’t help but wonder what he was doing before he got cooped up here. And she wanted to ask him why her of all people.

At this note, Hyori halted.

“Kang Hyori, you are growing too attached.” She scolded herself mentally.

Hyori inhaled deeply to clear her mind.  

“It’s against your professionalism and stop. Stop here… before you get hurt.” She thought to herself.  

“Patient Kim Sunggyu, we have reached.” She said and tapped him.

Sunggyu had no response.

Hyori walked to face him and to her relief, his chest was still rising and falling.

“Patient Kim Sunggyu.” She called out again.

Sunggyu continued nodding away as she attempted to wake him up. Then, she stopped waking him for she realized something.

He was crying, even in his dreams.

-

Sunggyu coughed repeatedly nearing dawn as he tossed and turned in bed. He felt air being squeezed out of his lungs whenever he coughs. He tried to hold his breath to regulate his breathing and stop coughing but to no avail. He held onto the tip of his pillow case and bit his lips. Sunggyu didn’t want to wake the other patients in his ward.

When breakfast came, Sunggyu fought his sleepiness and ate. He felt something damp against his skin and it was then he realized that he drooled. He had drooled on himself. Picking up the tissue, he wiped his hospital clothes really hard in an attempt to remove the stain. When Hyori entered the ward, Sunggyu kept his tissue away. He flashed his most charming smile which wasn’t the same any longer.  

The useless man began to lose control over his facial muscles.

Sunggyu sighed before tossing his notebook into his drawer.

That night, Sunggyu heard difficult noises. He opened his eyes slightly and saw the middle-aged man opposite him struggling. Hurriedly, he pressed the emergency button. He wanted so much to get off his bed and check on him immediately. Therefore, he scrambled to get onto his chair. However, he had clumsily missed his wheelchair and fallen onto the ground in the process. For the torturous one minute, Sunggyu could only watch and yell for people to save his ward mate on the floor.

Hyori burst through the door with others and heaved a soft sigh of relief when she saw Sunggyu on the floor, alive. She quickly went over and helped him onto the wheelchair before pushing him out. The others drawn the curtains and performed their familiar rescue operations on the struggling man. Sunggyu prayed for his safety as he waited at the corridors outside. Not long later, he saw a bed being wheeled out of his ward. A white blanket drooped over his familiar figure and tears rolled down Sunggyu’s cheeks.

He lost the battle. The man, whom talked to him once in a while, asked him about his past, shared with him slices of his own life. They shared an orange, an apple, the remote control, magazines and many others. Now, he was gone just like this.

Overnight, Sunggyu lost someone.

Hyori felt tears slip although she knew very well that she wasn’t supposed to cry.

“H-He… tried so hard. I saw, I really did. And still… he still died.” He mumbled in shock.

“Calm down.” Hyori cooed as she held onto both of Sunggyu’s trembling hands.

“How am I supposed to calm down?” He cried harder.

“Sunggyu, please. Calm down.” She begged.

At her plea, Sunggyu tried hard to resume his composure.

That night, Sunggyu told himself something.

-

“Sunggyu-ssi, I bought some magazines from the convenience store downstairs.” Hyori said as she placed them on the table.

“I don’t need them. I’ve stopped reading magazines.” He said coldly and pulled his covers higher.

“I’ll just leave them here. Read it when you want to, alright?” she informed.

Sunggyu took a glance at the magazines she bought for him. A fond smile crept up his face as he felt something tug at his heartstrings. However, he did not read them. Every time he glances over at the empty bed beside him, he was reminded of one thing. Kim Sunggyu is yet another dying patient, with no hope, no future, and no rights to some things. He kept that in mind despite it stabbing at his numb heart time and again.

“Becker muscular dystrophy.” Hyori mumbled to herself as she browsed through the net.

She has some medical knowledge about it but she thought it was not complete for there is no cure yet from what she learnt. Hyori noted down even the weirdest methods listed on the internet. Yawning, she stretched her arms in the air and continued. Not long later, she fell asleep before her computer keyboard.  

-

“Sunggyu-ssi, there is something I wish you can do and hope you can listen to me.” She began.

He looked up at her in confusion and shook his head.

“I am feeling lethargic today. I will hear you out next time.” He lied.

“Just a while of your time and it will not be tiring on you. I know some method which may help improve your condition but it’s not for sure. If you’ve no objections, I am proceeding. If possible, try moving your legs as I massage it, okay?” she said and placed her hands on his legs.

Hyori gently massaged his calves upwards in a weird pattern in hope of letting the blood flow to his heart and improve circulation. The rationales of other weird movements were not stated. Sunggyu would have rejected if he did not see the heavy eye bags beneath her usual sparkling black eyes.

The girl is by his side to fight this battle but still, he’s fated to lose.

 “Are you feeling better since our little session yesterday?” Hyori whispered.

He smiled and nodded.

“I will come back later after my duty.” She said.

As promised, Hyori came back and she had deliberately picked the time slot when the other patients are out for their walk, treatment or what not. Repeating her actions from the previous session, she massaged his calves with concentration. Then, she felt a hand above hers. She looked up and locked eyes with Sunggyu.

Sunggyu know it was wrong and he shouldn’t have done it. However, he closed the distance between the two and kissed her cheek.

“Now I can die in peace.” He joked and she froze there in position.

-

Hyori reported to work after getting herself dressed. Then, she heard her counter sirens ring. The staff at the counter sprang up and made a dash. The screen flashed in bold ‘Ward 7 Emergency’ and her heart stopped. Running alongside with the other staff, she felt her heart pump harder. As she ran faster and faster, things in her surroundings fade away. She prayed that it was not Sunggyu but her right eyelid twitched.

The first scene Hyori saw was Sunggyu clutching his left chest painfully.

 “CARDIOMYOPATHY, HEART FAILURE!” The senior nurse shouted.

“You. Call Doctor Im. You. Run to his office now! You. Get the defibrillators! Move!” She instructed them.

“Kang Hyori! Stop standing there and get Doctor Im! Faster!” She yelled.

Hyori ran out of the ward and saw Doctor Im rushing here already. They have reached him on his phone in time. She watched Sunggyu’s heartbeat get reduced lower and lower, from 130 to 80 to 40 to 15 to 0.

“Defibrillators, faster!” The doctor shouted urgently.

Hyori picked up the defibrillators swiftly with her cold and clammy hands and handed over. Tears have coursed down her cheeks as she saw Sunggyu not reacting to the first level of shock. His entire body jerked up as electricity passed through his body. However, his heart refused to budge.  He saw the doctor turn up the voltage and she prayed so hard for him to be fine. The tears wouldn’t stop and the senior nurse tried pulling her out of the curtains but to no avail.

She remained there and watched him die.

Hyori didn’t know how long she had been sitting on Sunggyu’s bed. It still smelled like him. It felt as if he was coming back from his treatment soon. It felt like everything was still as before.

“Kang Hyori, get off the bed right now.” Her colleague said.

Hyori shook her head and hugged her knees closer to her body.

“Hyori, please. Stay strong. This is not the first time we have been through such things, isn’t it?” she consoled her.

“Jieun, when is his treatment ending? Why is he taking so long?” Hyori attempted to ask those questions casually.

“Hyori, Kim Sunggyu is not coming back. He is pronounced dead this afternoon at 3.04 pm. Wake up!” She shook her vigorously.

Salty tears fell as the information sank at the back of her head despite how hard she tried to erase that information.

“Pack his things once you’ve gathered yourself together.” She instructed and left.

“Now I can die in peace.” His words rang in her head.

“Did he know?” she thought to herself.

After sitting for hours, Hyori finally got off Sunggyu’s bed. Her legs weaken as she fell onto the cold, hard ground. Then, she spotted something sticking out from beneath the mattress. Pulling them out, she realized it was the magazines she bought for him. A painful smile spread across her face as tears splattered on the glossy surface. Opening his drawers, she noticed a book.

The guy met a girl whom made his heart warm in the cold.

The guy felt utterly embarrassed before her that he wanted to die.

The guy’s condition is getting serious but today, she smiled. And that was all that mattered today.

The useless man began to lose control over his facial muscles.

The girl is by his side to fight this battle but still, he’s fated to lose.

Hyori cried harder at each sentence he wrote but when she reached the last, her tears couldn’t even speak her heart any longer.

Thank you. Thank you for liking me back, Kang Hyori.

“He knew since the start…”

Author's Note:
The chapter of our dearest leader gyu is up. <3
Thank you so, so much for all my lovely subscribers to this series of mine.
I was really surprised and overwehelmed. Anyways, I hope you guys would like the first story.
I had to do a fair share of research to write this one-shot and hope it wasn't too bad.
Finally, I will sincerely appreciate new comments and subscriptions. <3 ...