Choi Jin Ri's first crush had been none other than one of the boys from Dong Bang Shin Ki. She, along with majority of the female population in South Korea, had been holding a candle for one of the five men who were currently ruling Asia.

But, Jin Ri was a little different from the other fan girls. She was a trainee at SM entertainment, and had been for quite a while now. You'd think being in the same company as Dong Bang Shin Ki, would get her somewhere closer to her crush, but that wasn't the case at all. Whenever the group were in the building, Jin Ri would always miss them by a nano second.

''I can't believe Dong Bang Shin Ki were here!'' she remembered one of her fellow female trainees say one afternoon. Jin Ri had been surprised, ''bwoh?! they were here?''

''yeah, Jinri. didn't you know? I got to talk to Changmin oppa for a while, and he told me my singing voice was good!''

Jin ri pouted, ''when??''

''just a few minutes ago, I think. They've gone now, they've got to catch a plane to Japan.''

and incidences like this continued to occur, and Jin ri figured she either had bad luck or it just wasn't meant to be. All her friends, in and out of the company, knew she was in love with the group as a whole, but they didn't know she had a particular favourite - and that was none other than Jung Yunho. When she first saw the group's picture, she had picked Jae Joong at first, noticing his pretty boy looks, but after watching shows that they appeared on, Jin ri couldn't help but admire Yunho's personality. He had a calm, collected, mature look about him - and that wasn't just because he was a leader, that was his natural self. Her eyes always travelled to him in pictures, and her ears pricked up whenever she heard the sound of his voice, and her heart would beat a little more quicker than normal.

The girls around her liked Jaejoong or Yoochun or Junsu or even, Changmin...but Jin ri liked Yunho, and she was happy to note that he didn't have as many admirers as the others. She'd play as many fantasical scenarios that revolved around her and Yunho. What discussions they would have, and activities they would do together - like go on a date, or hold hands. She was like any other fan girl with a crush, albeit being closer, in terms of distance.



The first time she met Yunho was at SM Town's tenth anniversary celebration party. Jin ri had been invited, and she could still remember watching from her table towards where Yunho sat with s. She wanted to go over and say something, or do something to get him to notice her, but instead she sat where she was, waiting for the right moment. She was invited to cut the cake on stage, and Yunho was watching her as she mounted the steps and stood beside him. Her heart was beating, as Yunho laid his hands on her own, as he helped her cut the cake. She got to blow the candles out, and as smoke filled her nostrils, she had heard the sound of clapping. Yunho, along with the others KangTa and Lee Soo Man, was applauding her for her effort. But still, she could only smile when their eyes met, and before she knew it, he had disappeared off stage.

As soon as it was all done, she was taken away to sit on her own table, while Yunho went to drink a glass of wine with Lee Soo Man, the founder of SM.

Sometimes, she got the chance to see him in the halls walking by, and she would wave excitedly at him, and he'd nod his head without looking at her. She would grow disappointed with every bump or accidental encounter. While she had fellow trainees around her talking about getting to shake Yoochun's hand or having conversations with Junsu, she had 'he nodded his head after I said hi to him'. He always seemed too busy, or in his own world, and soon, her feelings changed as she matured through the years.


When she was fifteen years of age, she debuted with her own girl group, f(x). By then, Dong Bang Shin Ki had long broken up, but Yunho, alongside Changmin, remained with the company. She had more of a chance to see him as he was less busy, but it seemed he was more interested in her other members than her. He would passionately hug Luna and congratulate her on a well-done performance, or he'd compliment Krystal's pretty face, or bump shoulders with Amber. Sulli, as she was then known by, felt defeated.


She sat by herself in her dorm room, looking through old diary entries she had scribbled her thoughts in. She'd forgotten she'd placed a picture of Yunho in there, and when it fell to the floor, she'd barely registered it. So, when, Taemin knocked on the door, she hadn't expected that after so many years, someone would find out about her secret crush.

''Isn't this Yunho hyung?''

She'd stopped reading through a page where she was describing how sweaty her fingers were as she had cut the cake, and had a large blurred picture in her face. She took it away from Taemin's grasp once she figured out what the picture showed.

''Yah! don't touch other people's stuff like that!'' she'd slammed her diary shut and hugged it close to her chest, as if the boy would snatch it from her.

''You like U-Know Yunho?'' Taemin was laughing, with a hand to his mouth, ''He's old enough to be your dad!''

''Go away, you bowl cut boy!'' she was frowning, as she tried to scrunch the Yunho picture up. In the picture, where Yunho's pearly white teeth were on display, a drop of wetness fell.

She hadn't realised how much it hurt, knowing that despite all these years, she still felt something for the older man. He was her first love, after all, and first loves were important. She knew she would never get to be with Yunho, no matter the circumstance. It was plain as day that she was like a little sister to him - and that was why he didn't pay her as much attention as everybody else. She was like family to him.

Taemin had sat beside her, and put an arm around her. It felt awkward because neither liked each other much, ever since their first meeting. Taemin could be mean and wasn't afraid to make fun of Sulli. And another reason she hadn't liked Taemin was due to his resemblance to Kim Heechul.




A few years down the line, Sulli had matured into a beautiful woman and had almost forgoten her infatuated with Yunho, until someone brought up the subject.

''Do you remember when you used to want to marry U-Know Yunho?'' he'd asked, with a smirk.

Sulli blushed in embarassment, and the guests around them laughed loudly.

 Taemin, as usual, teasing her with embarassing anecdotes about her life. Of course, Sulli had decided to get her own back, by making the boy a teensy bit jealous, if Victoria nuna was right, then Taemin liked her. The idea of Taemin liking her annoyed her, but at the same time, it did make her feel good. And ever since that day in her room, when Taemin comforted her, she coudln't help but have lingering thoughts about him.

she turned to the audience, and then faced the camera, as the host asked her to elaborate on her love story regarding Yunho. Taemin, as Sulli began to describe her love for U-Know Yunho, didn't seem too happy when she went into detail about why she liked Yunho. This made her smile.

''His calm, collected, mature attitude was what attracted me. He wasn't like a boy - he has this charismatic aura about him, right?''

and so, she continued down nostalgia lane,

''I first liked Jae Joong oppa.......''



fin.