I immediately got off from taxi when I arrived in the airport, my eyes immediately looking for his figure. I searched every corner of the place sharply and meticulously in every direction and hoped that I could spot his presence. I also observed for every taxi at the airport, watching everyone who just got off, just may be he hadn't arrived yet. After that I expanded my search area with entering the airport, scanned every man who was captured by my eyes. But still there was no his figure, I did not see him. This heart began to get nervous. I was afraid of the news that he had took off to the United States. I started sweating and worry. I began to feel that he was really gone. I really could not find him and I was too afraid to lose him.
Then how about this feeling?
But my determination was high, I wasn't a girl who gives up so easily. I continued to run in the airport, using my eyes well to look for him again, looking for my brother. I didn't care about the gaze of the people around me who stared at me with a strange look because of me who kept running and looking like a child who lost his mother. I probably looked messy now, sweat trickling on my forehead and legs were getting tired because it kept running everywhere. So, I decided to stop for a while and rested my mind that so frivolous, panic, fear, anxiety and restless. I really couldn't find him, most of the place at the airport had already I scanned but I still did not see him. Has he gone already?
Still not giving up I took out my hand phone, trying to contact my brother. But it only made me surprise because I saw my battery's phone about to run out, looked quite impossible to call, I chose to send him a short message before my hand phone went off. I typed so quickly, I asked about his departure, hoping that he could reply me soon -if he had not been on a plane. But my bad luck continued, when I finished typing and tried to send my message, my phone went off. Totally off and my message hadn't sent yet. That time I wanted to cry, I really really wanted to cry.
Perhaps it was indeed forbidden, may be I would never be able to confess it and may be there was no a second chance.
I was starting to give up after realizing that my attempts futile. I walked out of the airport with steps that were not excited, this move felt very heavy, as heavy as my feelings. It was hard to move forward. It was hard to accept the fact. This body felt weak and helpless and it was heavy to breath. Tears started coming out and worse, I felt like I lose my life. All was pointless, I did not know what else to do, imagining my brother who had gone to America and married Jessica, made this heart feel torn apart and ripped until formless. Or even... more sick of it.
I forced myself to go home and received all the reality though it was very unbearable painful. But as I walked forward, there was a taxi that suddenly just stole my attention, for some reason I wanted to see someone inside that taxi and still hoping that this time was my brother. Until finally the male figure just out of the taxi. I observed again until I could see his whole body. He then turned around, gave me a chance to see him and recognize his figure.
In a short time, My broken heart was completely healed. All the tiredness I felt a few minutes ago suddenly gone when I knew that figure was belong to Donghae.
I wiped my tears and gave him a smile even though he was not aware of my presence yet, at least my smile was for me, for my efforts and for my feelings.
But fate didn't, it didn't smile at me. In fact I was still in misfortune and adversity.
A girl just came out from the same taxi that was carrying my brother. A Figure of a girl who looked elegant, stylish and beautiful. A girl I had ever met, a girl I knew, a girl whose presence was not my favorite, never once...! And yes, she was her, Jessica. I was surprised not believe it when I knew that my brother went to America with her. My smile started missing as I saw them holding hands together towards the door of the airport with the same shoes, the couple shoes. These eyes judged them very match, but this heart felt totally sick. I could no longer explain my feelings right now, either because too sick or because my feeling was dead. All I know was my body started to limp. I could not even stand up, like my soul separated from my body. Just for a moment ago, I thought all my anxiety would end, but her presence mocked at it. I felt lifeless. This was really too sick for me.
Perhaps because of this feeling was very strictly forbidden or perhaps God never allowed me to confess.
They began to walk towards me, but I could not move to stay away from them. I felt, Blank. Sooner or later they would notice me.
"Yoong?" A voice that I knew for sure I'll hear it, got my consciousness back. Donghae's voice was calling my name.
I came out of my misery but I still did not look at him who called me. My gaze fixed straight towards the first time I saw him dropped from the taxi, with tears hanging up in my eyes, forcing to fall down. But I held it, strongly.
"What are you doing here? How did you get here? "He asked me in a tone that sounded happy.
I didn't move at all. I just glanced at him, his hand exactly that was still holding Jessica's hand. Obviously I was jealous, very jealous. I wanted to be angry, but I didn't know what words should I said.
In the end I just cried, the tears that I held back before, began to fall.
Donghae started to confusion with my tears, his expression showed clearly that he began to panic due to see me crying.
"Sica, you go inside first, I'll catch up" He tried to send Jessica away from us.
And after she left us, my brother started to wipe my tears that kept falling.
"Yoong, why are you crying?" He asked with a very worried expression.
I could not answer him, just tears began to fall so hard. I began to sob very loudly. I could no longer stop my tears, the tears from the indefinable pain of my feelings. I cried and just cried even though I knew I had become people's attention who was passing us. But I could careless about it now.
And Donghae Oppa started to look more worried than before. He was silent and did not say anything, because he knew I would never say a single word if I was crying and he certainly knew the reason that made me like that was because I was feeling something that I couldn't hold, too sick so it could make me speechless. In the end he only kept waiting for me until I could speak.
I tried to calm myself, my tears began to drown while Donghae Oppa still stood beside me. He began wiping my tears and my sweat with his hand. He smoothed my mess hair on my face as he said.
"am I the one who make you cry like this?"
I could only keep quiet as usual. I was probably confusing him more for not answering his question. And usually, he would continue to talk.
But this time I heard Jessica's voice instead.
"Honey, we have to go now or we'll be late"
Honey? What the ...
The fire of jealousy in my heart that I successfully put out, started again. I felt so heat when I heard her calling my brother like that with her trademark high-pitchvoice. Seeing her alone even made this heart already on fire. Although she stood at the main door airport which was located only 5 meters away from where we were. Jessica was actually very pretty and adorable but sickening to me.
My brother just glanced at her and turned back at me. I was a little excited knowing he ignored her but,
"I'm sorry Yoong, I have to go now, I'll call you after arriving" He back at me just wanted to leave me.
I started to panic, I thought he would not leave me. I immediately remembered my feelings, the feelings that were so eager to tell, that made me go to this airport to chase him at this time. The feelings to make him mine.
When he turned around and started his move to leave, I pulled his black leather jacket before he really went away. I managed to hold his pace, he stopped and just turned his head towards me.
"What's wrong, Yoong?"
We stared each other and nowfor the sake of my feeling I allowed my self to talk, I would reveal everything.
"Do not go, Oppa" I was pleading to him.
He looked at me strangely "What?"
"Do not go, do not leave me Oppa"
He turned fully towards me, held my arms and he smiled.
"I wish I can, but I have to go, Yoong" His smile was so charming and soothing my feeling.
I pulled his jacket tighter "No ... I mean ... stay with me. I want to be with you"
"I will always be with you, Yoong. I'll never leave you and I will call you every time, every minute, even every second if you want"
"Oppa, Paliii" said Jessica disturbing our conversation, she kept demanding my brother. I really wanted to slap now but my brother took action first, he looked at her to say yes and told her to wait him inside. Jessica obeyed him and left us again but I didn't care if they would be late because of me, I was holding more my brother not to go instead.
"Do not marry that girl oppa"
Donghae looked back at me again, not with a smile but with question expression.
"Why?"
"..." I was quiet.
"Why Yoong? Why do you always tell me not to marry her?" He asked me.
I looked at his eyes deeply, preparing myself for everything, preparing for the worst and the best, preparing mentally to say "it's because I love you Oppa, I fall in love with you and I want you to be mine"
I finally told it, it was straight and very clearly. He looked a little startled and looked at me with a different expression, this time with a shocked one. We stared at each other for a long time and no one said a single word after that. I did not know how shocked he was when I confessed my feelings but I made him sweat and made my heart pounding so fast.
"I know it sounds ridiculous Oppa, but I do really love you... and I can't get rid of it..."
I held my words and we continued to stare at each other again, not a single word out of his mouth, but I would keep waiting for a response from him. I knew he would be surprised like this. But this was too long, he kept looking at me with that look without saying anything. I was the one who kept talking here and I was sure Jessica became restless across there.
"Oppa ... I'm sorry, I know it's forbidden... I'm really sorry. This is not what-"
Suddenly his strong arms hugged me, Donghae Oppa hugged me tightly and firmly when I was in the middle of my words. It surprised me and I couldn't continue my words again. We were so close, our body met each other. I could even feel his heart pounding so fast in my chest and his breath sounded so clear in my ear.
"Oppa..."
Still no answer.
"Oppa.."
I called him again, but he kept silent. Now I was afraid he would mad at me.
"Oppa... I'm sorry, I'm sorry if I burden you... I-"
"Do you really love me Yoong?" He finally allowed himself to talk.
I nodded slowly for answering him.
"How much you love me?"
I was quiet for a while, thinking about the answer.
"I... I dont know... but you are my first love"
He let out a big sigh. I had no idea what would he feel when I told him about all my feelings. I just cared about my self. I wanted so much to confess it no matter how his respond would be, no matter how unbelievable it was and no matter how absurd it was. Because I just wanted him to know it.
"Why me Yoong? There are a lot of good boys out there? why me?" Donghae Oppa asked it softly to me. He didn't seem angry until now and I knew he trusted me for every words I said. He trusted me no matter how no sense it was, like he used to.
I released his hug and looked at his eyes before answering him.
"I think it's because those dreams, the dreams that I've told you in the cafe back then... Everything starts after it"
He shook his head, his action showed the unbelievable respond, brushing the truth of my feelings. And then he hugged me again.
"But you are my sister Yoong" his voice sounded so husky. I guessed he wanted to cry now.
"I know that Oppa, it's not like that I want to fall in love with you, it comes naturally" knowing he wanted to cry, I let my tears fell down first and kept talking in my sob. "I'm sorry Oppa... I know this is out of limits..." I controlled my sob that became so hard this time "I love you so much, but I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry Oppa"
"Stop Yoona, stop saying sorry...Stop it" he said quietly as he hugged me tighter. His hand pushed my head on his shoulder more.
"But I'm wrong Oppa, these feelings are wrong... I can't let go of it... and you.. you will never understand about these forbidden feelings"
"No Yoong" he shook his head "You are wrong, I exactly know your feelings"
What?
What the hell he just said, knowing my feelings? What was that mean? I thought about his words so hard, tried to understand it. It was hard to make it clear in this condition. I got goose bumps at the same time and mental breakdown. I wanted to get out of his hold right now to look at his eyes and ask him right away about his statement. But he was stronger than me, of course. His hug became more firm than before. I could hear his breath more clearly now. I questioned his action so much, yet I couldn't ask it.
"Oppa..." I called him calmly while I held his arms, I tried to let it go. And he let me to do it.
I wanted to look at his eyes now but he lowered his head, didn't look at me at all and only giving me a chance to see his face a little while his words were still unclear and he didn't make it clear as well. We didn't say anything again, he still in his position and I still questioning his words. But when I saw his face carefully, I saw a tears... his tears on his cheeks.
I startled.
It really made me confused now, he added another question on my mind with his tears. Why he cried was the first time I wanted to find out right now, what made him like that? I was dying wanted to know about it. I thought deeper and deeper, thinking carefully to get the answer. I knew he was giving me a signal about his answer. I was sure the answer wasn't something that he could say it directly. Because he only acted like that and I had to think about it. What was that then? I let my mind to think slowly now, first he said that he knew these forbidden feelings and then he acted weirdly. Now he made himself cry in front of me. I thought harder. I might be not smart or sensitive for something like this, but if I wanted to think about it, I definitely would get it. Gladly Jessica didn't come again and interrupted my mind or it would lost on my mind in a second and I would slap her for sure if she really came.
I looked at him, thought his words, collected all I know... and finally...
Wait... Don't say that he... it was... Impossible, the answer was something that could make me get heart attack right now.
"Oppa... Don't tell me that you..." I hadn't finished my words but then he lifted his head and looked at my eyes. And tears wetting his cheeks there but he was still charming and even adorable with that look.
"Yes... Yoona. I also love you. I fell in love with you first"
My guess was right, it sounded crazy even though that was what I wanted to hear. It was supposed to be a good news or I was supposed to smile or happy but these feelings were indescribeable now. Everything was beyond my guess! Like a thunder, his words was like a thunder in my ears. It shocked me, all this time I only hoped that he would love me back but never expected it that it would really happen. What surprised me more was the words "fell in love with you first". Fell in love with me first? didn't it mean that he fell in love with me before I fell in love with him? How could it be then. I wore and showed my shocked expression towards him. Showing him the look that I wanted him to explain it more. Asking him to explain right here right now.
He got my signal and opened the conversation again after we kept silent for a moment because his shocking statement.
"I also had those dreams Yoong but it was a long time ago"
Another shocking statement came. I gulped. Afraid that he still had so many things that could make me speechless again.
"My feeling develops more every time I'm with you. That is why I went to America" his voice joined with his sob now "I was exactly the one who avoided you back then, because I know it's forbidden. And.." He stopped for a while "The more I see you the more I want you to be mine"
Tears suddenly fell down from my eyes. The sickness truths, the shocking facts, stabbed my heart deeply.
"That is why I can understand your feeling. It's hurt. Totally hurt right?" He forcibly to smile, but didn't look good.
I lost my words, every words that came out from his mouth shocked me perfectly.
I only kept my silent since everything was clear now. I could understand all of his action towards me, why he acted nervously in the cafe after I had told him about my dreams. He probably sensed that I began to fall in love with him and he tried to warn me, that was why he blamed me back then. He didn't blame me but he blamed my feelings. The news that he suddenly wanted to marry Jessica was because he already got my feelings, he didn't want my feelings to develop more deeper. And the fact he didn't hate me back when I hated him and treated him jerkly was not because I was his sister, but it was because he preferred if I hated him than loved him. Everything he did was for me, to prevent me to feel what he felt, to keep me from the worst feeling in this world. The sick lovable feeling towards someone that you would never ever have him no matter how much you tried. All of it really made my tears fell hard again. I cried and he cried.
"I'm the one who have to say sorry Yoong... because I failed to prevent that feeling to come to you... but everything is too late. I'm sorry you have to feel it as well... I'm sorry you have to feel that hurt... I'm sorry Yoong, I'm sorry for letting you fall in love with someone like me"
My tears fell like a waterfall, so hard, so fast. I couldn't see his face properly now, my tears blurred it. And my feeling wasn't happy when I could understand all of these. The truth that hurt me, the truth that we loved each other yet we knew we would never ever be together. Like ever.
It was ... more than hurt.
"Oppa..." I sobbed so hard before I could finish my words.
Donghae Oppa came closer to me and wiped my tears. I held my cries and then continued my words. "It is really hurt Oppa" I closed my eyes and tears fell more than before "It's totally hurt" I continued to cry and wet my cheeks with my tears again, because right now I could only cry. There was nothing I could do or say. Crying was the last way to express my feelings right now.
And in my cry I suddenly felt Donghae Oppa more closer than before, he held my face with his palm...and
lips touched my lips, softly and gently.
I startled. Totally. I didn't open my eyes, I didn't have a courage to open it since I knew Donghae Oppa's face must be really close with mine. Our lips met each other, our breath joined together. I only let my self in his kiss but I hadn't respond yet He was the one who led the rhythm of our kiss. It was so warm and successfully calming my cries. But this kiss was wrong, felt wrong and incomplete, still wrong enough to feel right. I didn't know why he did it but this was totally forbidden and stupidly I couldn't reject it because in this kiss I let all the things that we couldn't reach, released the failure to have each other, the so many things that we couldn't do because our brother-sister relationship, the pain, the hurt, the burden and our passion. Everything! We poured it all in this kiss that I slowly responded it and started became passionate as we ignoring people's gaze.
Even though his kiss was sweet, my heart was still sick. In the end nothing could heal these feelings.
I broke the kiss first and gasped for a breath. Donghae's eyes looked at me so softly. He my hair as he said "I'm sorry Yoong, That is all I can do... I'm sorry we can't be together"
I didn't know how many time he said sorry to me, but when he claimed that we couldn't be together was really torn my heart apart. I knew very well we couldn't be together, but hearing it from his mouth wasn't something that I hoped. And after saying it he moved away from me and left me. I also put my self to walk away from that place and tried to forget everything. But still, the last thing he did would be unforgeteable for me.
After all it didn't make me satisfied as well. Everything still remained unclear. I only became more helpless as he left me, became more hurt as I accepted the truth. This heart was getting tired to feel pain, rejection of it was probably the most pain, but fell in love with someone who would never be with you was the sickest of the sickest. Worse than that in this second life I failed to be with him. Yeah... for the second time I couldn't be with him again And it was like my world was destroyed by the truth, my dreams were gone, loss of taste, loss of life. Tough everything had ended but my life was nothing now because I failed in my second life.
I really did not have a passion to live anymore. I had no desire to breath again. I wanted to leave this second life and alive again in my third life.
But.... would I be with him in my third life?
I walked straight towards the road where taxis passed by as I felt nothing. I really had nothing to feel anymore. There was nothing left, everything had gone and I didn't care about anything around me as I walked. I didn't even concern about the people who was yelling at me and said "Watch out!"
Suddenly something happened to me, right in front of my eyes. Something that happened so fast.
When I wanted to cross the road, there was a taxi who came towards me from the left side and honked so long. I turned to the left to see it and I saw the driver seemed surprised about my sudden presence in front of him. Someone around there started to yell at me, started to warn me about that taxi. I couldn't move away immediately and the driver still didn't stop his car. How could I move away when I didn't even have strength, passion and mind when it all had already gone. I froze, too late to move, hard to get away. The taxi only a few meters from me in speed and I could hear so clear the sound of brake squeal.
Perhaps it was better for me to stand here and let the car hit me. Might be everything would be better if I was dead, since I didn't have a passion to live as well, probably letting my life away from me would be a better choice. Because the death was the only way and one only that could heal these sick feelings. I closed my eyes and waited that car to hit this body.
But there was someone who didn't let me to do it.
The sound of the footsteps that running rapidly towards me. A guy who suddenly approached me, hugged me and turned my body as he used his body as a shield of mine. He let his body to meet that car instead and in a few seconds later we bounced away from our current place. I felt like flying at that time, scream could be heard everywhere. Everything had happened in mere seconds.
I opened my eyes and realized my body was lying on the road, blood around my head, pain all over my body -not just in my heart now, people started to gather around me. It didn't look so clear, everything was blur. And when I scanned every people around me, I found a girl, a girl who screamed so loud and cried on her knees. I tried hard to get my conscious to identify that girl. When it started to clear, that girl screamed one name.
"Donghaeeeeee"
I... I surprised. That girl was Jessica. When she screamed that name I began to remember and looked for a guy who just saved me before. A guy who let his body to be hit by a car. A guy who protected me, a guy who bounced together with me before. I collected all my strength which still left in my body to move around my head, until finally I found another body laid on the road not very far away from me as I saw more blood in there. I started to scan that guy, looked at his outfit until I realized that he was Donghae Oppa.
I wanted to scream and approach him but I didn't have enough strength anymore to do it now. So he was the one who protected me. He was the one who let himself to be hit by a car. I was totally a fool to let him to do it. Tears fell down on my left cheek. All I could do now was only saw Donghae Oppa laid there, helpless, unconscious, closing his eyes, blood all over his head and body. I prayed for him, asked God to let him alive, let him open his eyes. I kept praying as my pain slowly took over my body. I couldn't held it any more. It was hard to breath again, very hard to keep my conscious remain.
And suddenly the memories came to my mind. I began to flashback about our memories. The last happy memory of our brother-sister relationship.
The weather tonight wasn't really good. There was storm, a strong storm that could be heard everywhere, even inside house. The rain poured so hard along with loud thunders. The thunders were so absolutely loud that would make anyone wanted to cover their ears.
At that time a 14 years old girl ran so fast inside her big house. She climbed the stairs and approached one room immediately. She was looking for someone, looking for her brother. Her heart beat so fast, as she was worried that everything would be too late. She opened the door of his room scanned it to find him, to protect him, because she knew his brother had Ceraunophobia.
The room wasn't really big and it was so bright with the curtains covered all the windows. His brother must be afraid of the lightning. So covering the windows and making the room bright were the appropriate action.
She could easily found his brother there who was sitting on his bed. The 18 years old boy covered his head with blanket and his both palm covered both of his ears. Yoona who saw his brother immediately approached him, she crawled on his bed and going closer to him.
"Oppa are you okay?" the girl asked him, but he ignored it, he didn't answer her since he couldn't hear it and he was too afraid to let his palm away from his ear.
The thunder became even more loud and vibrating the windows in his room. Donghae trembled more and became more frightened, his efforts to prevent himself not to hear it was failed. But Yoona wasn't there for nothing. She came to help him, to protect him. She slipped her hand under the blanket on his head and placed her palms on his palms. She pressed it more, so that Donghae couldn't hear the thunder, she wanted to make Donghae calm.
"It's okay now Oppa" Yoona smiled beautifully at him, successfully melting his fearness and calming his mind. Everything seemed so perfect for him now.
But her action made him embarrassed a little, he thought that she wasn't supposed to protect him. She was his little sister, he was the one who should protect her after all. But he could careless about it now since he couldn't do anything about his phobia. He could see that Yoona felt frightened as well when the thunder came, well who didn't? the thunder was really really loud, but Yoona seemed can endure it well. She was a strong a girl and she had to sacrifice herself to protect him. He really wanted to ban Yoona for doing something like that and replace herself instead because he knew Yoona was scared as well but his phobia wasn't something that he could handle so easily right now. He had to admit that he really needed Yoona like this, even though it was wrong, but he really needed someone to soothing his fear at this time. And Yoona was the right person.
But.... seeing her so close like that made his heart beat so fast.
After a few minutes passed, the thunder had finally gone, Yoona released her palms and took Donghae's palm away from his ear as well.
"The thunder has already gone Oppa"
Donghae released a big sigh as he felt relief that his burden for letting Yoona scared was over. "Th-thank you, Yoong"
"You didn't have to be nervous like that" Yoona chuckled "Well, the weather was so bad, seems I can't see the stars tonight. And I hate the thunder as well" Yoona pouted as she crosed her arms before her chest.
"Then why did you let yourself to do it to me, you had to cover your ears as well"
"You need my hands more than me, Oppa" Yoona against Donghae's excuse.
"But your action embarrassed me" Donghae turned away his head to the left, to avoid an eye contact with Yoona and to hide his shy expression.
"Kyaa Oppaaa... why are so cuteeee when you're shy" Yoona opened her arms widely, jumped to hug Donghae. She bumped Donghae's body, made Donghae fall and Yoona's body on top of him now. The boy's heart pounding brutally. "it's okay Oppa, you always protect me, so now it's time for me to protect you"
Donghae started to nervous and threw away his face to the left again. Yoona's face was so close to him and he had to hide his blush now. "Still"
The girl pouted again
"Fine" Yoona get up from her position and sat on Donghae's lap now "if you feel not well because I protected you, then as a replace you have to bring me to the planetarium on summer holiday"
Yes, Yoona really loved the stars. She really loved all the objects in the sky so much, yet she never came to the planetarium. Their parents were always busy, so many times Yoona asked them to bring her to the planetarium but they never did it. So his brother was her last choice to bring her there.
"Ok then"
"Really?" Yoona felt so excited when Donghae agreed with it. Her eyes opened sparkly and her smile was wide. "Promise me?"
Donghae nodded slowly, avoiding an eye contact with her again. He felt different with Yoona, he blushed, his heart beat so fast, he felt something incredible which he shouldn't feel towards his own sister. He felt the forbidden feeling.
But It was all the last happy memory of Yoona with him, because after that Donghae didn't keep his promise. He went to America after graduating and never brought Yoona to the Planetarium as her hatred towards him slowly grew.
I remembered it very clearly in my pain. All the memories before he went to America, the sweet memories we had. And the pain after that. Might be, I wouldn't hate him, if i knew at the first place that he left me and broke his promise because he started to fall in love with me and tried to avoid me because of that. I regretted it all of it, if he didn't fall in love with me I should have went to the Planetarium back then and I wouldn't hate him as well.
The greatest pain suddenly attacked my body as I began to lost my sight slowly. I couldn't see people clearly who gather around me and Donghae Oppa anymore. There were some people used their phone, perhaps calling an ambulance and Jessica unnie cried so hard as she kept calling my brother's name multiple times. It was really noisy, very noisy but then the voices began to fade away slowly in my ears. I couldn't hear anything right now. I looked at Donghae Oppa and he was still unconscious. I hoped he still breathing right now. I wanted him to open his eyes, but it seemed so impossible, I was the one who protected by him had the greatest pain all over my body, moreover him. He was the one who hit by a car must be felt the pain more than me. I couldn't even imagine how painful it was, but I knew he would never be able to open his eyes or move his head like me, it was even hard for me now.
In the end I could only smile at him and then brought my sight to the sky. It was already dark, a beautiful night with stars spreading around in the sky. The stars that I really wanted to see with him a few years ago, finally.... came true. Although he couldn't see it now. But...
I felt happy.
May be, I will never be able to be his lover or be with him in my second life. I feel really sad because I can't create the happy ending for us, but I wish we could be together in our third life, I love him like forever because even the time will never get rid of my love for him. Yes I love him and that's the beginning and the end of everything.
It was the last thought in my mind before I released my last breath.
The End
Finally it finished... i'm sorry if you didn't like the ending. hehe.
well it isn't officially the end... I still have one last chapter to describe a little about their third life. it is like a bonus for my reader who loves this story and support me. Thank you
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