(Two Weeks Later...)

“Ann, where’s Xiao Shan? I haven’t seen her these few days,” Lu Han asked as he slid into a spot beside his girlfriend at the cafeteria.

Ann looked up from her salad and stopped typing on her phone. He looked at her too, ignoring the plate of fried rice in front of him. Shrugging nonchalantly, she answered, “I don’t know. She said she has some work project to finish so she’s being spending lots of time in the library. You need her for something?”

Lu Han returned her shrug carelessly and returned his attention to his food. He’s famished but his conscience told him to care. It’s odd that Xiao Shan kept away from the both of them for so long. She didn’t have many friends and they were the only ones. Even when she displayed an anti-social behavior towards others, both of them were an exception. She has no rejection towards them.

“I’m just asking… Are you sure she’s alright? She doesn’t seem alright since the birthday party.”

“It’s almost her birthday. She gets depressed when it’s near her birthday. Mom is getting worried too,” Ann replied quickly. Lowering her volume, she added, “Her mom’s anniversary is near too.”

“Oh…” Lu Han was silent. - Of course.

 It’s almost her mother’s death anniversary and she gets depressed during that time. Even after so many years and through so many therapy sessions, she couldn’t get pass that. Lu Han didn’t blame her, he blamed her mother. The mother had chosen death rather than to stay by her daughter’s side, chosen to die rather than to celebrate her daughter’s fourteenth birthday. When someone dies, the ones being left behind are the one truly suffering. Her mother certainly didn’t see that. All those years, Xiao Shan grew up believing she was the cause of her mother’s death.

“We should talk to her,” Lu Han concluded.

“I tried talking to her but she just dismisses it. She keeps saying she’s alright. If her sister couldn’t get her to talk, what makes you think you can?” Ann retorted shortly. 

“Hey, I’m a really good looking guy. And I’m great at listening,” he replied, earning a laugh from Ann. Smiling, he got up from his seat. “I’ll go talk to her. She should stop moping. We are all here for her.”

“Good luck with that.”

Xiao Shan pinched her bread into small crumbs and threw it to the ground. Several birds flew down from the branch of the trees they were resting on to feast on the food. She watched them pecked on the bread cautiously while continuing to break up her lunch for the birds.

“I hope that’s not your lunch,” Lu Han called out from behind her. Without waiting for her reply, which he knew she wouldn’t, he sat down onto the bench beside her.

Xiao Shan kept her gaze at the birds. Silence came between them except from the constant cooing from the birds and rustling of the leaves above them. Minutes ticked by, with just the two of them, sitting at the park, staring at a bunch of birds eating her lunch.

Finally, she broke the peace. “Why are you here?”

“Looking at some birds eating your lunch?” he prompted dumbly. Laughing at his own silly joke, he turned to watch her for reaction but got nothing. He sighed. “Ann said you’ve been avoiding us.”

“No, I did not,” she replied quickly. “I have a project to finish so I’ve been busy. Ann knows so she wouldn’t say that. You made that up.”

He made an attempt to smile at her but stopped quickly when she turned to look at him. There was something in her eyes that told him to stop all acts and get straight to the point. It was the very same thing that drove him to sit beside her and listened to her cries for an hour that day on the wedding; that very sadness but a failed effort to hide it.

He sighed. “It’s not your fault, you know that, right?”

“I know…” She lowered her head to examine the remains of her bread. Carefully, she brushed them aside. “I just don’t know how to let go. That’s what my doctors said.”

“You should try. I’m sure she wants you to be happy.”

“Yeah, I’m sure of that too.”

“Then what’s wrong?” She turned to look at him again. “Xiao Shan, we are here for you, we care about you. If you have a problem, you can tell us and we’ll definitely help you. You are not alone in this.”

She smiled gratefully at him. Now turning to look up at the sky next, she asked, “What do you think happens when you die?”

Lu Han raised his shoulders as an answer. He wasn’t big in religion and he’s still too young to think about afterlife. But Xiao Shan has been. She was introduced into religion shortly after her mother’s death because her therapist suggested so. But it didn’t help her much. As for the afterlife, she thought about it often.

“Do you go to heaven if you’re good and to hell if you’ve been bad? Or do you just die and that’s it?”

“I think we’re too young to think about that,” he decided firmly. “I think there’s no need to know.”

“I want to live, Lu Han,” she finally admitted. “I want to know why life is worth living. There is nothing here that is keeping me alive but I want to live.”

“What are you talking about, Xiao Shan?” Lu Han turned to grab her by the shoulders, forcing her to turn and look at him. Tears have rolled down her eyes again, the same every time they go through this conversation. “You have us, isn’t that a reason to live?”

“And what happens when it all goes away?”

“We will never leave you, you know that. You have me; I’ll always be here for you.”

Xiao Shan smiled. There was so much she should tell him but couldn’t. A part of her, the small part where she believes she could live because of him, desperately wanted to pour out her heart. But for now, it is enough.

“Thank you, Lu Han…”

“You’re welcome.” And he pulled her into his arms, a friendly reminder how much the world is a better place. It was the warmth she could never forget.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm back!! And I finally got a poster, courtesy of HOT HIT DESIGNS. ^^

Thank you everyone who voted and subscribed and commented. I love you guys~ I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. And as always, comments are most welcomed...