PART I – Strangers.

“. . .sometimes one feels freer speaking to a stranger than to people one knows. Why is that?"
“Probably because a stranger sees us the way we are, not as he wishes to think we are.” 
― Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The Shadow of the Wind

“One order of Taro Milk Tea for table 12” A man said as the waiter swooped it off the banister and headed towards a small round table with the number 12.

“Here is your order sir.” The waiter said courteously before leaving. Sehun managed a small nod before returning to his laptop, tapping away at the keys like he was playing to some sort of rhythm.

It was always like this, every Thursday afternoon Sehun would come here and order just one Taro Milk Tea and tap away. No one ever questioned why he was always here, that’s because everyone here was strangers. Sehun would travel 2 hours every Thursday to sit amoungst these strangers.

No one that is until Luhan came along.

“Hi, I know this must be strange, but I see you’re always here on Thursday ordering the same thing, and always on your laptop but you never talk to anyone… Is there a particular reason?” Luhan was of similar height to Luhan, slightly taller and his eyes held a certain type of curious nature.

Sehun’s droopy eyes looked up at the honey-blonde boy’s face who was without a doubt very cute. “Who are you?” He simply said, because Oh Sehun didn’t usually beat around the bush, or did he liked to be disturbed.

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude… I’m Luhan” the boy just stood there in embarrassment as Sehun looked at him with very little interest.

“Luhan… Why do you want to know? You don’t know me” Sehun seemed baffled as to why a stranger would care what he was doing

The boy’s eyes seemed to form a weird shape after that. Luhan’s eyes formed a crescent shape and sat down and smiled. “No particular reason, you just seem interesting, that’s all” Luhan’s smile made Sehun feel uncomfortable. He didn’t understand the whole ‘making new friends’ process.

“you seem interesting too…” Sehun managed to slur out.

Luhan’s face lit up and opened his mouth again. “Oh really? You think so? I’ve never really been told that before, I mean I sort of have, some people say I’m a little weird, talk to fast, a little too hyper all that jazz, but who has time for talking fast am I right- wait I didn’t catch your name.”

“Sehun. Oh Sehun…” Sehun sat there listening to Luhan rant about his life story desperately trying to catch each word as they were flung out of Luhan’s mouth.

“Sehun. Nice. Am I right Sehun-ah? Is it alright if I call you Sehun-ah? I find it sort of suits you right?”

“Uh… yeah sure.” Yes Luhan might’ve been a little too friendly a little too fast, but something in Sehun told him to let Luhan go on.

“I know right, so as I was saying, I’m not really that interesting but anyway, I’m a student who studies at the university close to here and I notice you seem to come every Thursday to this place, any reason why?”  His eyes were gleaming with excitement and Sehun’s reason was pretty pathetic but he still said it.

“I just needed a break from where I come from once in a while.” He said curtly

“Oh really. Damn I really thought you were part of some secret organization that came to spy on our university or part of some sinister plot.” Luhan pouted.

After listening to that, Sehun bursted out laughing which caused other people around them to stare at them weirdly.

“Oh, I’m sorry it’s just I’ve never heard of something more ridiculous in my life” For the first time in 19 years the social barriers that Sehun put up broke down because after that, anyone could not have fathomed they had just met.

“It’s called having a lively imagination you frowny face.” Luhan pouted as they discussed everything from music, to arts and how it was like studying here.

“What. You’re a high school student? You’re kidding me right?”

“No, why are you so surprised? I should be surprised you’re the one with the gift of eternal youth, you look nothing like a 3^rd year university student” Sehun retorted a bit put back by the tone of surprise in Luhan’s voice.

“Don’t be jelly” He laughed as they sat there until the café closed.

Sehun travelled home that day, thinking about the odd day he had today.

Dear Diary,

I met this person called Luhan today. We talked a lot. Do you think I’ll see him again tomorrow?

I hope so.

Sehun.

Part II – Fool’s Paradise.

“I might not be able to give you the whole world but now I will promise to only you I will be a person who is only for you” – All for you by Seo In Gook & Jung Eunji

For the next few weeks the two talked endlessly on the Thursdays Sehun was at the café, sometimes on the weekend Luhan would come down to Sehun’s and they would simply hang out. Things got a little more serious when they both started to feel more than just friendship, something that still baffles Sehun to this day.

“Luhan-hyung, I think. I like you more than a friend” Sehun said one day awkwardly.

“You think?” Luhan raised his eyebrows at the younger boy’s choice of words.

“I mean I know…”

“You mean like a best-friend?” Luhan questioned whilst not batting an eyelash.

“More than a best-friend.” Sehun said blushing a bright shade of pink, eyes glued onto the floor, making sure not to look at Luhan in the eyes.

“… You’re bestest best friend?” Now Sehun didn’t know whether Luhan was just playing with him or was seriously that dense.

“Are you serious? Forget it.” As he turned around he felt a hand hold onto him and as he turned back he saw a dumb honey-blonde boy grinning like no tomorrow biting his lips preventing himself from laughing.

“I’m playing around Sehun-ah, I know I like you more than a friend as well.” Luhan said smoothly, his word’s making Sehun’s heart leap out right away.

“What a best friend?” Sehun said once he composed himself earning a big whack to the head by Luhan followed by a soft peck.

“Not exactly you idiot” He smiled.

Dear Diary,

I’ve never felt this way before. I don’t understand it but I know I’m happy when I’m with Luhan. Like as if my whole world revolves around me, and when I’m with him I don’t know what to do with myself, it’s like my mind and body aren’t working in sync.

Tell me is there something wrong with me?

Sehun.                

Part III – Awakening.

The first few weeks of their relationship seemed to be smooth sailing but then as with everything, there are complications.

“So today, I went to the grocery store and I saw this little kid and look what she gave me-” Luhan said before getting interrupted.

“Hyung I’m tired, can we talk about this later.

“But Sehun-ah, it’s interesting look it’s one of those yoyo things we used to have as a kid- ”

“Hyung. Seriously I’m tired.”

“I’m not asking you to do anything Sehun-ah, just listen…” Luhan wanted to persist on but obviously could see that his boyfriend was no interested in the slightest bit.

“Fine Sehun-ah, rest well.”

---

“SEHUN-AH WHAT HAPPENED?”

“Nothing”

“What do you mean nothing?! You have bruises all over!”

“Aish, why do you have to be so annoying! I said nothing!”

Luhan simply said nothing and like every other time just walked away not knowing what to do.

---

“I don’t know what to do Sehun-ah, my parents are expecting me to move to China by the end of the schooling term…” Luhan sobbed as Sehun sat next to him silently.

“I mean I guess this arrangement could not possibly have been permanent but still… where are you going?” Luhan said feeling a shift in the sofa.

“I’m going to go home” Sehun simply said before heading out of the apartment leaving Luhan utterly confused.

As he exited the apartment Sehun could feel someone running after him.

“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS? WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LISTEN” Luhan had had enough of this. He felt like he was giving so much but Sehun couldn’t even be bothered to listen to him when he needed him.

“Let’s talk about this later, I want to go home” Sehun replied with a expressionless face.

“That’s what you always say, Let’s talk about this later, it’s annoying, I’m tired. No Sehun I want to talk about it now, Why won’t you ever just listen?”

“You think it’s just listening, but it’s different , when you’re going through something, I worry and then I feel like I should do something but I know there really isn’t much I can do, so I thought it would be better if I didn’t hear it.”

“Cut the crap Sehun. You’re making excuses, you listen to other people so well”

“But you’re different! I feel like I need to make your problems go away!” Their voices fought for dominance as the last piece of their relationship fell apart.

“No one is asking you to fix any damn thing. I just want you to listen, is it really that hard? All of this is just excuses. I don’t know when it started Sehun, but I don’t like it”

“What am I supposed to do then?”

“Just listen!” Luhan’s voice had reached an all time high.

“I just told you I can’t!”

“Just. Go home Sehun” Luhan said sobbing as he turned his back. Sehun made no effort in chasing after Luhan in fact they just parted ways.

[TEXT from Luhan] What are we even doing? Sehun, we’re not even happy anymore, what happened to us? We’re no better than strangers.

It was the last text they ever sent each other. From then on, Sehun never went to the café on Thursdays and Luhan waited patiently for the semester to end.

Dear Diary,

I still don’t know what to do, I didn’t want to leave him there, I just didn’t know what to do. Maybe it is better that we leave it that way.

Sehun.

- Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike- JK Rowling. I hope that you live happily Sehun-ah. I couldn’t help but come by for one last visit while you were out. I want to tell you I did love you at one point, but Sehun… I just couldn’t do it anymore. –Luhan.