"Which one should I wear today for my schedule? The pink one or the pink one?"

I turned to Siwan hyung who was holding two similar looking pink shirts, even the same shade of pink in both hands. Sometimes, he's really quite an idiot as much as he's a genius.   "Siwan hyung, you don't even like pink."   "Yeah, but...the fans like it when I wear pink and they think I like pink, so wouldn't it be great if I do fanservice for them today?"   "Okay then...I guess...the pink one?"   "Thanks Heechulie, I know I can count on you." He went away happily despite my answer was actually meant to mock him, if he was being sarcastic, then I didn't notice it either. I guess, Siwan hyung is really a better actor than I am? Everyone kept saying that ever since he got that role in that...bloody drama...The Moon Embracing the Sun. Everyone including her. Although her teasing wasn't as bad as the others. No, in fact, she's the only one who knew to stop before crossing the line between teasing me for my failure and hurting me with words.   We had met right before Siwan hyung and myself went to the audition for a supporting role in The Moon Embracing the Sun. It was during a fashion event in Japan where both of our groups were scheduled for performances besides other singers. We happened to came across each other briefly at backstage, and I didn't know why, but I mentioned about the upcoming audition to her and my worries. Even though usually I would rather not share things that were not confirmed except to my labelmates who would know even without me telling them anyway. Maybe I was scared. Of having nobody on my side if I failed, and that I knew that she, being the energizer bunny that she is, would not lose the energy to lent me some support no matter what.   "Really? That's great! You'll definitely make it. Remember when we had that hanbok fashion show? You really had that...sageuk look." She grinned while I tried to not look uncomfortable at the passing artistes and staffs whom I felt, kept staring at us, at the crowded lane leading to our different waiting rooms.   "But Siwan hyung practiced his speech so well. And he's very handsome." I sighed.   "Ya~ where had that Heechul who's confident about his own good looks disappeared to? If he practiced, then you should practice more. Should I distract his attention for you?" Her wide grin changed into a shrill laughter, not seeming to care about other people's opinion as they glared at her weirdly. I was the one who felt bothered by their disrespectful glares, and her lack of common sense and tact. How could she say such thing in front of other people? They wouldn't know she's joking.   "Uhh, no thanks. You're not his taste anyway, so you can stop dreaming now."   How could she even think of joking to me about seducing my own group member? She's my friend.   "Yah, that's mean! Anyway...the others would be searching for me, gotta go. Heechul, hwaiting for the audition. You can do it! Beat Im Siwan ssi. Hehe. Bye." With a smile, her ever unserious speech and waving her hand ungracefully, she left and disappeared in the crowd.   We're friends. Simply that kind of friends. Never as close as I had been with my labelmates, but close enough to chat for as long as we could whenever our paths crossed, even though our interactions have been decreasing ever since some of our fans started suspecting that there's more to our friendship. Usually, such things don't bother me that much. I'm a normal guy. I enjoy being around girls, especially pretty girls, or those with grade-A bodies, well....according to my standard that is. Even when I was caught being touchy with one of our dancers and my fans started questioning or rather, harassing her and myself, I didn't think much of it. I only told her sorry while fishing for the answer I wanted to hear from her that she didn't mind it, and that was it. I stopped worrying. She had a boyfriend anyway. I was just being friendly. And she didn't mind it, so what was the big deal, right?   But when it come down to this friend, even though we weren't even as close as our fans suspected us to be, it still made me worried. What if my fans attacked her? What if her fanboys turned their backs on her at the thought that their idol is in a relationship. Maybe it's because she's also a public figure like myself, even if both of us were never on top of that social ladder of idols. She's such a bright girl with great dreams and undying spirit, even when she kept being overshadowed in her own group, just like myself, but she never stopped believing, she never lost hope while I get gloomy about it easily. That was one thing that differentiate us the most. Maybe that's why we're compatible friends. She's an image of someone I could never be. Someone who's so similar to me, yet is my total opposite in some ways, yet she didn't feel strange. It felt like we could connect even more perfectly because of our differences.   After I failed the audition while Siwan hyung made it and later on became instant sensation that everyone knew today, I never felt as horrible as I felt at that time. Seeing he lived the fame that could have been mine, if I had made it in instead of him. And everyone made fun of me. I didn't tell her anything about my failure, despite wanting badly to do so. Because I trusted her to not say the things I would hate to hear again. I needed someone to know that my feelings aren't always a joke even if I seem easy going about it. But I was too scared to contact her. You know how the netizen can detect anything and everything, so they could probably even hack my twitter and check my private message if I send the message to her inbox, but if I had tweet her openly, our fans would be watching instead, and for safety sake, we had never exchange numbers.   Surprisingly on the day of the first broadcast of the drama, she tweeted me.  

@ZEA7777 How come you didn't tell me you failed? I followed Siwan oppa on twitter now as new fan, Yeom is so handsome. Every mothers' dream son-in-law. Hehe.

  Even though it was merely one tweet, but I almost felt really horrible. Almost, because not