I stood in the center of the room; there was a surprising amount of people here. Though I guess that's what happens when you come out as a singer’s secret girlfriend of 2 years a few days before your birthday. You suddenly become a lot more popular. It was AshLee’s 16^th birthday; she was only a few months younger than me. Kibum, her boyfriend, had decided to throw a surprise party for her. Once she had gotten over the initial shock of the party she had admitted that she was more shocked that he had managed to keep it a secret from her. Now that the party was officially started I had left her to mingle with the other people who had come. There were a lot of people I didn’t recognize so I decided to sit with one of the members of Kibum’s band. I wasn’t too familiar with all of the members which Is mostly due to the fact that they were always busy. It was a shock that AshLee even had time to talk to Kibum. I looked around and tried to see if I could recognize anyone from the band, and headed over to them.

           “Hello, Lee Taemin.” I said as I sat down at the table he was seated at. He looked up at me and said “Hello.” His voice was quiet, I almost didn’t hear him. “I’m Sheena, pleased to meet you.” He nodded to me and resumed looking down. I attempted to get him to talk a few more times, he really seemed shy. After a few more failed attempts I decided I liked him, he seemed like a fun person to play with. I played with my light brown hair for a bit while watching him. His hair was darker than mine. His lips and eyes were particularly intriguing.

           I attempted once again to get him talking, and this time it actually seemed to work. I spent the majority of the party talking to him. He seemed really sweet and kind. His shyness almost made me feel bad for what I planned on doing to him. Nonetheless, I spent the whole night talking and flirting with him. By the end of the night I left with both his phone number and plans to meet him with Kibum and AshLee on Friday. This was going easier than expected. I left with AshLee that night, stole her away from her boyfriend, to tell her what happened.

           “Taemin? Are you serious Sheena?”  AshLee’s face was filled with worry, she clearly wasn’t happy with my idea. “Yes. I am.” I frowned; I had explained to her that I was supposed to be meeting him with her. She sighed and shook her head, “You better not hurt him. Taemin does not need that from you… But I’ll go with you.” I smiled, ignoring her warning, “I can’t wait! I’ll see you Friday then.” I then gave her a small wave and headed out of her house, I needed to get home.

           Next Friday I was dressed and ready to go, I had worn one of my favorite dresses. I waited impatiently for AshLee to pick me up’ we were meeting the boys at a restaurant. I had texted Taemin several times during the week, and he seemed a bit more talkative through texting. I was busy thinking about this when AshLee walked up to me and hugged me from behind; I hadn’t noticed her coming and jumped. I spun around and stared at her with wide eyes “AshLee! You terrified me.” She smirked and said, “Let’s go chica.” I smiled and followed her, it was good to see the old her showing through. She’d changed so much since we moved to Korea. Sometimes her old self showed through, but only when she was with me.

            We talked idly on the way there discussing our weeks and even about her party. I even made a comment on her shirt; she had worn the one that says: I ship AshNa. It was a shirt we both had. It had gotten us both many strange looks, but we wore it anyway. Once we had gotten to the restaurant we were greeted by the two boys we had come to see. Taemin looked slightly happy to see me. I still had to work a bit on him, but soon enough he would be putty in my hands. We all ordered our meals and talked idly while we waited. I enjoyed watching how absorbed with Kibum AshLee was, I wanted to be like that someday. I wanted to love someone so much that I could forget the whole world around us. However, I didn’t know it would happen so soon.

~*~<>~*~

            I wanted love, but not like this. I wanted to find someone who could make me fall in love at first sight. I was a known player and many boys had their hearts broken by me. I didn’t care much about them though, because to me they had always been temporary pleasures.  Which was exactly what I expected Taemin to be, a temporary pleasure. He fell in love with me, just like many other boys. He was so sweet, which was completely unlike all the other boys. They all had wanted me to do something, always wanted me to give something. That had been the reason I never wanted to stay with anyone for long. Something was different about Taemin though. I usually never stayed with anyone for long, a couple weeks, or a month at most. With Taemin weeks turned into a month, which eventually turned into several months.  I found myself enjoying spending time with him, unlike many of my past boyfriends.

            Taemin was easy to be around, and I didn’t have to pretend to be happy. I genuinely was happy around him. He was always shy, even though he talked to me more than most people. Though for obvious reasons he talked to his band much more than me.  Despite that we had lots of fun together. I would always bug him into singing a song for me, because I did enjoy hearing him sing. Of course, I never realized I had fallen in love with him. Not even once did it occur to me that that love I had always envied AshLee for was actually happening to me.

~*~<>~*~

            I held the phone to my ear as it rang, impatiently waiting for Taemin to pick up his phone. “Hello.” His familiar quiet voice answered. “Hey Taemin, I was wondering if you wanted eat lunch with me Saturday?” I asked him quickly. I waited for his answer, I already knew where we’d be going if he said yes. I hoped he’d say yes. “Yea, sure. Where?” I smiled, glad he had said yes. “It’s a surprise.” He laughed, oh how nice his laugh sounded.  “Well then, how am I supposed to know where to meet you?” I smiled at this and looked down at my lap a moment before replying “Meet me at my house. I’ll take you to where we are going.” I chatted idly with him a few minutes longer before getting off the phone. I needed to make a few more calls before Saturday.

            Saturday morning AshLee was over at my house helping me make lunch. She was shocked that I wanted to do something like this, but I quickly shushed her. I talked non-stop as she helped me cook. She simply smiled, which was probably because I was talking about Taemin. I was finally starting to accept the fact that I might actually have fallen in love with this boy.

            “Thank you AshLee.  Thank you sooooo much” I exclaimed once we had finished. I happily moved about the room, fiddling with the stuff set out on the table. “Don’t worry about it. Just be glad I’m keeping your parents occupied for you.” She said with a smile as she headed towards the door. “Goodbye. Thank you so much.” I said to her as she left. I only needed to wait for Taemin now. I’m not the kind of person who can just wait, so I spent the time getting dressed. I had to find the perfect thing to wear.

            I opened the door seconds after I heard him knock. Smiling I said “We’re eating here today.” He looked slightly taken aback as he stepped inside. I quickly sat him down and brought out the food, telling him how AshLee had helped me make it. We were halfway through the meal when I finally for annoyed. He was quieter than normal, and hardly even responded to me with actual words. He just mumbled a reply whenever I asked him a question. I looked up at him and sighed “What’s wrong? Are you unhappy? Did I do something wrong?” He didn’t respond for a moment, and then finally said “You don’t even like me do you? You’re just playing with me.” I went dead silent, staring at him a moment before quickly saying “What? Who said that? No!” He looked down at his plate, playing with his food. “NaEu. She told my you play with people.” I was stunned into silence again. I stared at him with wide eyes. Finally I managed to say, “And you believe her over me?” He looked at me. I was angered by the sadness in his eyes. “I have known her longer than you.” Once again I went quiet. Then I exploded. “Fine, yes I’m just playing with you. I thought you were cute and that it would be fun to say I dated a singer. Is that what you want to hear? Well fine. There you have it. You’re not even going to listen to the rest are you? You don’t want to hear how I started out only wanting to play with you. You don’t want to hear how I stayed in a relationship with you much longer than any guy before. How I thought you were different, or how I actually started to want to be with you. You don’t want to hear that do you?” I paused, anger rising inside me. Then, before he had a chance to say anything, I continued “You don’t want to hear how I started to find myself actually liking you. You don’t want to hear how I found myself anticipating spending time with you. I bet that you really don’t want to hear how I actually started to fall in love with you. Well I guess I was wrong. You are just like every other guy. I should have known.” I stood up sharply, almost knocking my chair over. I grabbed my plate and brought it to the kitchen, dumping the rest of my food away. I then dropped my plate in the sink and turned to face the table he was at.

            He sat silently, and was practically unmoving save his breathing. Finally he turned to look at me; his face was a mask that I couldn’t read.  We stayed like that for awhile, unmoving and unspeaking.  I was hurt inside. Hurt and incredibly angry, but I couldn’t tell how he felt. Finally he sighed and said “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have accused you like that… You just don’t understand what it was like. The look on her face when she said that, I knew she wasn’t joking. I was so confused… When I finally decided to call you and ask you about it you called me. You asked me if I wanted to eat with you today. You seemed so happy I was afraid to hurt you by suddenly asking you this. I knew it would make you mad. That’s why I didn’t want to ask you. But by keeping it to myself I was hurting, I really felt betrayed and so confused inside. I wanted to believe that you liked me. I really did…” I walked over to him and grabbed the collar of his shirt. He looked slightly surprised as I suddenly pulled him up out of the chair, Instead of saying anything I simply kissed him. It was our first real kiss, our first kiss with any meaning. I pushed him away and looked at him, taking in everything about him.

           Finally I went back to the counter and left him standing there. I jumped onto the counter and sat down.  “You see Taemin, I like you. I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone before.  That’s why I didn’t end our relationship like I had with all the other boys. I know it may seem hard to believe, especially since I have a history of toying with people, but I really do like you. You’re sweeter than any boy I’ve met before.  You don’t ask me to give any more than I want to. You don’t ask me to do anything I don’t want to. Around you I never had to be anybody but me. Usually when I was around my past boyfriends I always had to pretend like I was happy. I was always pretending. I didn’t have to do that with you. You made me smile, you made me laugh, and you made me happy without even trying.” I sighed and rested my head in my hands, I really had messed things up.  I heard footsteps and assumed it was Taemin leaving, but was pleasantly surprised to suddenly feel his arms wrapping around me. “I believe you… but only because I love you.” I let my hands fall to my sides, resting my head against his chest. “I love you too. I mean it.” Instantly I remembered something, I gently pushed him away and went to my room “Just one moment, I forgot something.” I called out as I left. Once in my room I grabbed a bag off my dresser and left in a hurry. I walked out and handed it to him. He smiled as he opened it and pulled out the two things inside it. “The shirt was from AshLee, I bought the ring. Sorry, I’m really not used to buying boys things…”

            He laughed and kissed me gently on the forehead, the first time he’s ever kissed me first. I smiled and lightly shoved him. I watched him gently place the ring on his finger and grinned, I really was hopelessly in love with this guy. I waited until his back was to me before I sneaked up and hugged him from behind. He jumped slightly and then hugged me back without turning around. We stood like that for a while; I was taking in the happiness because I know that there were going to be a lot of rough times ahead. Even though there were rough time there would still be happy times. I would try my hardest to never hurt him again, because I didn’t want to risk having to lose him. I wouldn’t think about the possibility of us ending. I didn’t want to leave him.