February 14, what comes in your mind when you see that date? Flowers? Chocolates? Candies? Special Gifts?

 

But have you ever wondered how many people suffer in that exact date? Of course not, you're probably enjoying the day. Buying flowers, eating chocolates, lighting up candles and probably even receiving gifts from the people you love.

 

Just how many people should suffer the same way as I before fate's contented with people's misery?

 

I chuckled, no one could answer that for sure.

 

I'm really sure.

 

“Kris...” I looked up to see the annoying girl I met at Summer Bridge on the 5^th of May last year. She was wearing the uniform of my former school. “You seem down.” she continued, sitting beside me. Silence was the only way to shut her up and I'm certainly not in the mood to talk to useless people.

 

“Do you know what date it is today?” she asked, her bright emerald eyes glowing down at my hopeless figure. What should I answer for a girl as carefree as her? She'll probably make fun of me if I say Valentines day like I'm a love sick puppy.

“Today is the 14^th of February.” I answered as my eyes glued on the floor on its own. I know I can be the most boring person to talk to but this girl didn't mind.

 

Heck she even annoys me more.

 

“You say it like its not special.” she said, ack what should I do for her to ignore me?

“Of course its not special Jaemin.” I made sure to choose the correct words, Jaemin can be the most paranoid girl you'll ever know and its frustrating to even talk about it or think of it.

 

“Not special? How can you say that?” My eyes suddenly glowered over her thin figure, she was surely not the type for men to take a second look at.

 

“Jaemin, please stop asking stupid questions.” I was about to stand up and leave when she held my wrist tightly.

“What?!” Instead of shouting for her to leave me alone I was surprised to find her holding out a couple of recently picked out sunflowers.

 

Sunflowers. Hearing that flower's name made me remember of the girl I loved. “Kris, I've picked out these sunflowers in the back yard of Aunt Min who gave me the permission to do so a-and I hope you like it.” she said in a squeaky voice as if she was afraid of what I was about to do.

 

“Ah I don't need those.”

I turned my back against her and walked away. “Kris.” I looked back at her “Please accept this.” it was a hard decision to choose wisely a part of me says not to and the other to take it and leave.

 

To refrain myself of making her cry I came into a decision to take it and leave. “Ah thanks.” if she gave me sunflowers on the 14^th of February then why not accept it? If she thinks that it would be a Valentine gift for me then why not?

 

I should just bury these flowers in the backyard. Then let it die just like how Hyumin was. Hyumin... I wonder how she is, I wonder where she is right now, if she's thinking of our future, if she's alright... Oh God, I miss her.

I was just walking around the park, taking a stroll along the neatly planted flowers that I used to see every time I was on a date with the most beautiful girl in the world, but everything faded within the blink of an eye.

I was seeing vivid images of Hyumin and I around the park like my sight's playing with me. I've been seeing it for a while now, we were so happy, we were so in love and I couldn't take another look.

Tears began streaming down my eyes as I remembered what Hyumin and I did most of the time.

“Kris, marry me.” Hyumin giggled as she hid herself behind a tree.

“And why should I?” I taunted, making sure to let her see my smirk.

“Because you love me.” she emitted another giggle from her pink lips. “And I love you, isn't that enough?” I was surprised with her answer, though a part within me expected her to say that, it was because Hyumin was a cheesy joker.

“Stop playing with me.” I laughed, clutching my stomach with my hands.

“You don't want to?” Hyumin's voice trailed off and her smile was replaced with a frown.

“Of course I'll marry you.” I made my way over her, “Silly girl.” I poked her forehead and laughed. Hyumin...

 

“No!” she pouted, “You're a bad liar.” her frown grew bigger than the last one. “And I expected you to jump and say yes.” this time she turned around and started walking away from me. Wait... No! I don't want to!

“Hyumin! I was just joking a while ago!” I tried catching up with her but when she continued walking away, I took a grab from her wrist and pulled her to a tight hug.

“Sorry Hyumin, I guess I joked badly.” I said while smelling her freshly shampoo-ed hair.

Suddenly, Hyumin burst out laughing. “Hey! Hey! What's wrong with you?” I asked pulling her face up so I could take a look at her wrinkled laughing face.

“You're funny Kris.” she said between fits of laughter, “Hilarious.” I pouted and poked her in the forehead.

“Hey!”

“You almost gave me a heart attack! For a minute, I thought you were serious!” Hyumin placed her soft long fingers on my cheeks and moved closer, as she did that, her eyes slowly closed and before our lips could touch she whispered in a very angelic voice.

“I love you Kris.”

“Hyumin! I love you more!” I cried as I bit my lip so as to stop my tears from falling down any longer.

“Hyumin, please... Please stay!” I pleaded, tugging my shirt as I felt my heart collapsed at the thought of Hyumin, who was no longer by my side.

I couldn't grasp it, no matter how much I wanted to forget her, no matter how painful it is to let go of her...

It all seemed impossible.

“Hyumin! Can you hear me?!” I yelled, I didn't care if the people around me were looking curiously to what I'm doing. I wanted to let out all my feelings.

“Can you hear me?!” I stomped as I pulled my hands balled in fists towards my wet cheeks to wipe it all off.

“Why did you have to leave me? We were so happy! Our happy ending was drawing nearer! You believed in fairy tales right? You made me believe that these are all true! That everybody deserved a happy ending! You thought the same way for us, right?”

“Answer! Please answer Hyumin...” the wind suddenly grew stronger, making my side fringes flew in place to the wind's direction.

“I love you... I love you so much and it pains me to have you depart away from me... I could no longer check up on you when you're sick, to protect you from dangerous people, to give the guys trying to look at you with my glare, to have dates with you...”

“I will no longer teach you Math no matter how easy the subject is! No more long walks with you, to get shouted at for taking you home late, to laugh at how cheesy our jokes were, you are my everything Hyumin...”

“It's impossible. I'd rather die than to be alone! Hyumiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!” I screamed the last part as I picked up a stone from the edge of my foot and threw it as hard as I could. I picked another rock close by and did the same until I started picking a lot of them and throwing them as I did so.

Then I felt myself weaken and lost my balance. I was now lying on the cold grass, feeling its sharp ends tickle some of my bare skin. Hyumin...

If I were looking at myself in front of the mirror, I would notice how lifeless my eyes seemed to be. I no longer had happiness within me, I've died along with Hyumin... That's right...

I was no longer living.

Aren't I?
 

“Kris! Kris!” I snapped and quickly wiped away my tears as Tao ran towards me like he was in a state of panic then he pulled me with him.

“What's wrong Tao?” I asked, Tao wasn't the type to pull people with him out of the blue and he's not acting like himself right now. “Jaemin! Jaemin...” he breathed out as we ran as fast as we could to God knows where.

 

“Jaemin? What's wrong with her?” I asked, I've been away from Jaemin since... Augh! I can't remember, probably an hour, I guess? I wonder what happened to her. Tao didn't reply so I let myself get pulled away by the guy I trust, my best friend.

 

For about 15 seconds later we were in front of a grave yard. Something's not right. We stopped in front of Hyumin's tomb and there we saw Jaemin placing sunflowers. “Tao, what is this?” I asked, there certainly isn't anything wrong with the picture.

 

I mean Jaemin was just giving those sunflowers to Hyumin... WAIT! Jaemin is giving sunflowers to Hyumin?! I made sure to take a second look at what I just saw and I was right.

 

Jaemin was giving sunflowers to Hyumin's place, how did she know? How did she know that today was Hyumin's death anniversary? “Jaemin, is that you?” I asked fixing my gaze at her when I knew that I couldn't because Hyumin was always the girl I fixed my eyes on.

 

“Kris...” she turned around as if to face me and in an instant I found myself nervous, was it because Tao left already? Or was it just awkward?

 

Awkward? Psh. That's not even in my dictionary.

 

“Kris.” she took a step forward and held my hands in hers “Why didn't you tell me?” she asked, it was the same squeaky voice that's full of worry.

“Kris, I heard that Hyumin's having a tutor today.” Jaemin said as she held the spoon and fork with her hands.

“Yeah, Hyumin's quite slow in learning Math.” I scratched the back of my head as I chuckled at my dark joke.

“Man, why don't you help her out then?” Jaemin asked.

“I'm also not good with Math.” I laughed.

“Tell you what?” I asked, she was obviously telling me why I didn't tell her of Hyumin's death anniversary.

“That today is Hyumin's death anniversary.” told you.

 

“Why? Why should I tell you? Are we friends? Are you someone whom I should share that? Huh?!” I shouted, it took me 2 seconds to realize what I just said and that made me more surprised than her giving me those sunflowers.

 

No, I didn't shout at her... Right?

 

I face Jaemin with my strength and saw that she was about to cry though she tried to stop it and I swear she looked like a kid doing that and its disgusting.

 

“Jaemin...” somehow saying her name like that made me comfortable, “I'm sorry I didn't mean to.” she pushed me away when I said that “SORRY?! I tried being fair to you and this is all I get?” she started wiping her tears and it was useless, it kept falling like an open faucet.

 

“Kris...” and she held her heart “This keeps beating until the last life of Hyumin.” she said. “I know that I'm annoying and all but please... Why can't you accept me?” she asked.

 

“I've accepted you for a long time, Jaemin.” I told her though I wasn't sure if I've had accepted her for a long time, right now wasn't the time to fight with my senses, this is Jaemin. Hyumin's best friend... But...

 

“Kris, she's going to die if I don't do this.” Hyumin said as she wiped her tears from her eyes “Please Kris, I'm also going to die anyway, Hyumin needs my heart more than I do.” she continued. I tried to stop her but I couldn't, she was bleeding, she was suffering, she's going to die.

 

“Hyumin... No! I won't let you do this!” I yelled holding her hand tightly as if she was about to fall from the cliff. “Kris, I have to save her. Jaemin is my bestfriend.” she said trying to smile despite her pain, Hyumin, she's bleeding.

 

“Kris, promise me that you'd take care of Jaemin... Promise me that you'll love her like I am her... Promise me Kris...” my tears won't stop... I can't control it, why can't I protect her?

 

“Kris...” and she kissed me. God please don't take her away from me... Please.

 

“No you didn't...” she looked up at me “You never accepted me Kris, I know that. I'm not stupid.” she said. “I know that deep inside your heart you hate me... I can't blame you for that Kris but I've always showed you the side in which you can love. In which you can accept and trust.” those words stabbed me in my heart. Had she always been doing that?

 

“But you ignored it all. I know I'm the one to blame for Hyumin's lost.” she said. “And I know why you all kept her death a secret.” she wiped a tear forming on her eyes.

 

“It's because... This is her heart.” she pointed at her chest “But I wish she didn't do that, I wish that she just thought of herself... And if she did Hyumin would still be alive.”.

 

“But she didn't... Hyumin saved you, Jaemin. She wanted you to live. She wanted you to feel happiness just like she was. She wanted you to live longer... It's because she cares about you.” I told her, this was the truth. Hyumin died of saving Jaemin, to protect her.

 

Hyumin gave her heart to Jaemin who was suffering and had grew up in the hospital alone. Hyumin transplanted her heart in order to save Jaemin whom she wanted to live longer.

 

Jaemin had always wished to live longer, to grow up in a healthy environment, to study in school, to breathe in the same air as I.

 

But she couldn't because the slightest bit of action that she could be doing would send her to multiple operations, to make sure she'd survive or even past 18.

 

But she was still 15 and about to die when Hyumin transplanted her heart.

 

Hyumin loved Jaemin like a sister would do, Hyumin forgot to love herself because she gave it all to us... Her friends and Jaemin was one of them.

 

“I know that but why... I wished she didn't!” she cried falling down on the floor “Jaemin stop crying it bad for your health.” I lectured but she didn't, instead continued. “I wish Hyumin didn't gave her heart to me!” she cried “Jaemin.” I hugged her tightly behind her as I pacified her from crying.

 

“A lot of sick people are dying to be in your place, can't you see that fate has given you what you want?” I didn't know why I was bothering around with her, she wasn't worth my time anyway but something snapped inside of me. I felt something inside of her like a force that makes me want to protect her.

 

No, I promised Hyumin that I'd protect her that's the reason why I feel this way.

 

“I don't want to be in this place...” she squeaked. “I wish... I wish Hyumin is alive...” and she closed her eyes as her head leaned on my chest, I could even feel my heart beating loudly. Tch, my shirt is getting soaked up with her tears.

 

I looked down at her and saw her sleeping silently like a kitten, tch is that the reason why she became silent? I carried her away from the grave yard. What a good Valentines day huh?

 

“Tao.” I greeted when I saw him at the entrance of the graveyard. “Finally. Are you two okay already?” he asked opening the car's door in which I didn't see earlier. “Hopefully.” I answered plopping her down on the backseat.

 

“Jaemin came all the way here to see Hyumin...” Tao said. “How did Jaemin find out?” I asked, I was getting curious of how Jaemin knew of Hyumin's death. “I don't know.” Tao answered as he drove us back to the village.

 

“Hyumin.” I heard Jaemin mumbling from her sleep so I turned to look at her. “Hyumin... I'm sorry.” in just a blink of an eye, I saw Jaemin sleeping on the lap of Hyumin, who was breathing weakly.

 

“Kris will save you.” Hyumin whispered leaning down to pat her head. “He'll save you.”

 

“Kris. Yo were here.” Tao pat my shoulder to wake me from my vision. “Where are we?” I asked rubbing the sleep off my eyes “At Jaemin's house.” he pointed the big house beside our parking space. “True that.” I mumbled getting off the car to carry Jaemin back home.

 

“Kris.” I looked back at him, a look of displeasure showed through my face. “Take care of her, please.” Tao said getting back to his car. “Whatever.” I walked towards Jaemin's house, certainly now that she could leave me alone.

 

“Good Evening Kris.” her mother greeted me as I smiled down at her, “Jaemin slept through the ride.” I told her getting inside the house, this was like my second home other than my own. “Oh, sorry to bother you Kris.” she said.

 

I walked up the stairs to plop Jaemin on her bed, “Ah.” Jaemin suddenly hugged me from behind, great could this day get any worse? “Kris... Please don't leave me.” she whispered. “I can't I need to go home.” I answered trying to take her hands off of me. “Please Kris.” and I could feel her tears soaking up my shirt again. Great.

 

“Fine, just take your hands off of me.” and she did right after I said that, I was about to make a run for it when Aunt came inside the room with a tray full of food. “Kris, stay here for the night?” she asked putting it on the bed. “Ah, I guess so.” Aunt smiled showing her wrinkles, but still she was lovely as ever.

 

“That's good to hear, the guest room is available, Kris.” she said. “No mom, I want him to sleep here with me.” Jaemin looked at me with her eyes full of happiness.

 

“Is that alright with you Kris?” Aunt asked, she was showing the same look as Jaemin, a begging displeasure. “If that's what she wish.” I told Aunt and I could hear Jaemin sighing happily behind me.

 

Tch, worst day ever.

 

“The futon's just sitting in the guest room, shall I ask the maids to get it ready?” Aunt asked going for the door. “Ah no need I'll just get it, Aunt.” I told her as I stood up. “That's good, oh before I forget you have your clothes in the guest room as well.” she sHyumined and closed the door. “Great.” I mumbled going for the bathroom. “Kris.” I looked back and saw Jaemin sitting cross legged on the bed showing her wicked sHyumine. “You'll be sleeping in this side, okay?” she asked patting the right side of the bed. Augh.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” I shouted though I didn't mean it, I was actually going to sleep in the futon, much more relaxing and spacy.

 

“Ah.” I went out of the bathroom with my neat pajamas. Thankfully Jaemin had some of my clothes in here so that won't risk me to going out and taking the futon and pajamas .

 

“Kris, where are you going?” she asked raising an eyebrow when I held the handle of the door for me to go outside “Futon.” I breathed making a run for it since I know she would stop me.

 

“Ah, here we are.” I opened the guest room and saw an old lady picking up the futon “Ah Aunt, let me.” I said taking the futon on her hands. “My Kris, you have grown.” it was Jaemin's maid who was the oldest in the manor, Aunt Cyn.

 

“Aunt... Good Evening.” I greeted her. “Kris, did Jaemin force you to sleep here again?” Aunt asked as she gave me a weary smile that really suits her old style.

 

“Ah I guess so.” Aunt laughed at my answer “You know that Jaemin could be a little stubborn but its really nice to have a friend like you who can stand her.” I gawked at her mistaken compliment. “Oh no. I can't really stand her aunt. She's annoying and its really peaceful when she's not there.” I told her, just to make sure she won't embarrass me with ridiculous comments.

 

“Well, boy. Don't you understand what this means?” Aunt came close to me and pinched my cheeks. “My little boy is growing up.” she chuckled walking away. “You should treasure it before it goes away, Kris.” she said before disappearing in the dark.

 

That creeped me out, what is she talking about?!

 

“AH! Kris THERE YOU ARE!” Jaemin hugged me from behind “ARGH!” I screamed, I was shock with that sudden move, okay?!

 

“Oh, Kris I told you that you should just sleep with me in the bed.” she pouted.

 

“I don't want to.” I said carrying the futon towards her bedroom. “Be thankful that I'm sleeping in your room.” I said plopping down the futon on the floor. “Ah...” I lied on it and took my cellphone out. How should I tell mother that I'd be sleeping at Jaemin's house?

 

Hmmm...

 

“Hey mom. I'd be sleeping at Jaemin's...” there was a long pause before mom answered that it was fine with her as long as I don't do anything to her, of course being the good son as I am, I promised I wouldn't. What's the use anyway? I don't even like Jaemin in any way.

 

“Your mom...” Jaemin started as she laid on her bed with her eyes closed, the lights were off so I don't know if she could see me well.

 

“How is she?”

 

“Fine.” I answered with a smugly look, I want to sleep but Jaemin won't stop bothering me with a lot of questions, “Jaemin, shut up.” I told her once but she didn't, she continued more.

 

“AH! Jaemin I WANT TO SLEEP ALREADY!” I yelled bringing the pillows closer to my ears so I won't hear her. But what shock me was that she did what I told her to do, it became so quiet that I could even hear the cricket's sound.

 

A while after that, I could finally be able to claim my reward, sleep.

 

I was about to drift off to my deep slumber when Jaemin spoke, “Kris? Are you still awake?” but I didn't answer, I was too tired to answer anyway. “I'm afraid...” she whispered though I still could hear her from here, psh. Afraid, is that something I always hear from girls?

 

“Kris... I can feel Hyumin's presence in the room...” that made my eyes open, what is she saying?! “She's getting nearer... Kris. I'm scared.” she continued. “Kris!!!” she yelled after awhile that made me jump up from the futon to see her black form in a crouching position almost telling me that she was hiding.

 

I could even hear her faint sobs.

 

“Please... I'm afraid.” that was the last thing I remembered last night. She was crying, the bed was wet because of her sweat and tears. She was afraid of Hyumin.

 

“I'm sorry Kris.” she apologized getting a cup of tea on the cupboard. “Ah no problem.” I muttered a reply, I woke up on the wrong bed. No, seriously I woke up beside her and I was even hugging her, how uncool is that?!

 

“Kris... Good morning.” it was Baekhyun, Jaemin's older brother. “Ah Baekhyun.” I greeted back as I ate my sandwich in peace. “I saw you... I saw you.” he started to tickle me, which wasn't a good idea since I was bad with forcing myself not to be tickled. “AH! Baekhyun!” I laughed “Stop it.” but he didn't instead he went to my weak spot.

 

“AH HAH!” he yelled tickling that part. “B-Baekhyun! Stop it! Hahahha!” I laughed, seriously who wouldn't?

 

“I saw you!” he laughed while tickling me between my folds “What?! What did you see?” I asked, Baekhyun probably saw me sleeping with Jaemin, augh how embarrassing. I told myself that I shouldn't meddle around with their lives but who couldn't?

 

Baekhyun stopped tickling me “Inside... Bathroom.” he panted, probably too tired of tickling me. “WHAT?! Inside the bathroom? When?” I asked, I can't remember going inside the bathroom, unless he saw me last night...

 

“Yeah, last night.” he laughed “I didn't know that you leave your pajamas at Jaemin's bathroom!” he laughed rolling down on the floor which was kind of weird since it wasn't that funny nor funny at all.

 

“Stupid.” I smacked him in the head and went back to eating my sandwich and my coffee's going to get cold if I don't touch it.

 

“Kris, can you do me a favor and drop Jaemin to school? I'll be busy with work.” he said as he fixed his tie on the collar.. “Nah, I don't want to do a stupid favor so early in the morning.” I complained, you'd probably do the same, huh?

 

“That's not fair!” Baekhyun pouted as he looked at me with a glare, “I'm older than you so do as I say!” I could even hear an evil background playing as Baekhyun laughed menacingly. “Don't wanna.” I murmured as I drank the coffee. “THAT'S A GOOD IDEA!” Seriously I spat all the drink I got when I heard Jaemin agreeing with Baekhyun, ah no! You aren't serious right?! And I don't even want to! I still want to go home and sleep!

 

“See? Jaemin agrees.” Baekhyun smiled “Augh. I don't want to hear about it.” I closed my ears so I wouldn't hear them. “Hey, Kris.” I looked at the serious face of Baekhyun.

 

“Next week is February 14.” he said... Wait! I thought yesterday was... AH! ITS Jaemin's FAULT! I glared at Jaemin as hard as I can as she gave me a peace sign saying that she was innocent. “AH! I forgot!” I yelled in anger.

 

“What are you going to give Hyumin?” It became quiet when he said that. Probably because it was a serious discussion.

 

“Probably flowers again.” I heard Jaemin muttered in annoyance. “Nah, I'm not. This time its special.” I looked at Jaemin saying 'Haha! I won er!' Jaemin gave me a frown indicating that she wasn't agreeing to it.

 

“As long as you don't hurt my sister.” Baekhyun chuckled rubbing my arms. “You should love my sister with all your heart.” and punched me in the shoulder, which hurts.

“AH! Baekhyun THAT HURTS!” I yelled in anger but there was a mix of happiness in it.

 

“Yeah Kris.” Jaemin held my hand, I'm not being a jerk or stupid but when she held my hand, there was a weak spark into it.

 

I quickly pulled it away from Jaemin and wiped it at the ends of my cloth. “Not gonna happen.” I whispered though I was just saying it to myself but Jaemin probably heard it anyway but I couldn't care less.

 

“Whatever.” I walked out of the house waiting for Jaemin, you're probably thinking that I'd leave her alone huh? Well I'm not that of a jerk! “Hey! I thought you wouldn't--” she was unable to continue when I glared. “Whatever. Just be quiet.” I said walking with my hands inside the pocket, thankfully I left some of my spare clothes in here, I probably left a lot of clothes in here and my other friends' houses. I sighed as I waited patiently for us to get near the school. It was a bright Monday morning and the sky looked stunning with its splash of blue and white.

 

Refreshing.

 

“Kris! Hold on!” but I didn't I just continued walking with my eyes closed and hands inside my pocket. “Kris! WAIT!” she yelled, I was about to turn around and face her when everything turned black. W-What happened?!

 

“Kris!” I could hear a lot of noises, people yelling out at a lot of people, I can't see... Where am I? “Kris!”

 

 

In just a blink of an eye Kris was gone, I was unable to express my undying feelings for him, and at exactly February 14, he died. He was confined in the hospital for several days until his body gave up and died. My name is Jaemin and on the February of 14, Kris, Hyumin's boyfriend died because of a thief who shot a gun right through him. Kris... I know its the end of your story but I would really like to thank you for caring about me even just a little.

 

And I'm sorry...

 

Because I love you.