Luhan’s POV

“Are you ok, hubby?” she helped me straighten up because I fell down awhile ago due to this stupid headache

“I’m OK” I smiled

I may be smiling right now but I’m trying to hold it in

“Are you sure?” she asked, unsatisfied with my answer

“Neh” I’m strongly clutching my two hands
You’re being deceived when I’m saying that I’m OK

“I need to go” I stood up

“Can you go home?”

“Of course” I faked a smile as I turned away

When, I got home, I lied on my bed and shed tears

“You don’t know but… I am shedding all my tears behind your back” I continued sobbing until it slowly fell to my bed sheet
Tomorrow, I’ll be breaking up with her. Sorry, dear. Sorry, my lovely girlfriend. Jeongmal mianhae.

*Next day*

I just looked at her expression when I said that I’m breaking up with her

Your small, trembling shoulders, your small lips, I will surely miss them. Your kisses, your hugs, your love and care, those complete my life. But… I need to bid goodbye early

“Why?! Tell me what’s wrong! Is it about me?” she sobbed and knelt down on the ground

I knelt down so that we are just in equal or let’s just say, a small difference between our heights

“I’m sorry” – you collapse before me
You swallow me up hotly and shed tears
“I’m sorry” – you hug me with all your strength

I let out a sigh past your shoulders, tears rise up past your shoulders
But only I know how I look…
“I’m sorry too. But this relationship is over”

“I want to live in your memory till the end, I want to smile in your memory. Like a fool, I just smile at you. But am I really a bad girlfriend?” she mumbled

 

“You’re not a bad girl, You’re not a bad girl” I held her cheeks

“The tears shed for me, put those tears away” I wiped her tears using my thumb

She will be hurt, hurt because of me, so I need to hold it in

“Why, why, why are you crying because of me? You should always brightly smile, why are you crying? Forget me, brush me off and leave in peace” I said coldly. “Please, stay away from me”

“Wae? Is there someone else?” she held my wrist before I could stand up

“Neh. And I love her so much. Don’t you believe me? I don’t want to bring you down, so I’m telling you this” she sniffed and let go of my wrist

“Luhan, we’ve been together since we are kids and you’ll just take me down like this?! Because of another girl? How about your promise?!”

*flashback*

“I promise you that I’ll never leave you. Even death can’t separate us. I love you so much” I said as I caressed her cheek

“I promise that too. I love you too” I kissed her gently and passionately

*end of flashback*

“I’m sorry but I think I can’t do that promise and besides, promises are meant to be broken”

I turned away before she could see my tears flowing roughly on my cheeks

“LUHAN!! WHY DO YOU NEED TO TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME?! WHY DO YOU NEED TO KEEP A PROMISE ON ME?! IS THIS ALL A JOKE? ALL FOR FUN?!!” I just continued walking even if deep inside I want to go back and wipe her tears away. This is the most difficult thing that I have been through. But I need to do this, really. Trust me, this is the best thing to do because tomorrow, I don’t know if I will still have another day to live… Yes, I’m dying. And it’s hard fighting my disease while I pretend to smile and nothing is happening. I have Leukemia, cancer of the blood. My parents say that I should just stay in the hospital so that I can live long, but no, I believe that when God says ‘it’s time’, you’ll really die whatever those doctors do. I don’t believe that they can prolong lives, it’s God who did that.

I started to feel dizzy, I strongly gritted my teeth and fought it ‘til I went home

I sat on the couch and massaged my head. It’s painful, so much, all I can do is to scream it out

“Son! What’s happening to you?” Umma and Appa quickly went near me

“Son, are you ok?” Appa asked

“Are you serious yeobo! It’s obvious that he’s not! Get his medicine!”

“No, Umma, I don’t need those useless medicines. I think it’s already my time and we can’t do anything to stop it”

“We can! Just drink your medicine and you’ll be fine” Umma insisted

“Umma. Anieyo. It won’t work” I held her arm “Umma. Always remember this, I love you so much”

“I love you too, Son”

Appa came holding a pack of medicine

“Appa, I love you”

“Son…” he sighed “I love you too”

“Appa, Umma, don’t cry when I die, ok? I want you to be strong for me. I want you to live freely”

“Son” they said in a complaining voice

“My loving parents, let me rest… in peace, will you?”

They just nodded

“The angel of death is calling me now. By the way, please give this to ________”

They accepted the letter “Yes, son. We will miss you”

“Me too. Appa, Umma. G-goodbye” a tear escaped from my eye as I slowly closed my eyes and rested in peace

 

3^rd person’s POV

“Me too. Appa, Umma. G-goodbye”

Silence surrounded the place. Luhan’s umma held his hand. “Son…”

“Son?”

“SON!!” they both cried. “LUHAN!”

Someone knocked on their door

They both wiped their tears before opening the door

“Uhmuhnee, ahbuhnim, can I talk to Luhan?”

His mother cried and hugged the young lady while his father comforted _________

“W-Waeyo?”

“Didn’t he tell you about his complication?”

“W-What do you mean?”

His father pointed Luhan’s body, lying on the couch

______ dropped the box of cupcakes she was holding as she ran towards Luhan

She shook his shoulders, trying to wake him up. “Luhan! Luhan! Wake up! Jebal. How can I live without you? Do you want me to die? You’re my life! My world only goes around you” she started to do CPR as she started to cry. Luhan’s parents went near her and comforted her.

“Be strong for him” Luhan’s appa whispered

“How can I?!” she cried loudly “I will follow him to death”

“Anie! Wait, he left something for you” she handed the letter to _____

It states:

My heart that beats from deep inside, the lingering attachment that’s deep inside
I just bury it as something only I know
I want to see only your smile till the end, I want to protect your smile
Like yesterday, just smile at me

You’re not a bad girl You’re not a bad girl
In my heart, in my heart
I hide my feelings, I hide it for you so I need to hold myself back

Only you are my master, if you want, you can leave me
I will let you go, for you, I will let you go

A tear dropped on the letter.

She went outside, on the middle of the road, to wait for a vehicle that is willing to hit her

A ten-wheeler truck came and beeped loudly

Just a few inches and it will hit her but a sudden force pushed her out of the scene

The truck stopped “Are you crazy, miss?”

“YES! Why didn’t you hit me?! Why?! My life is already miserable, it’s better to die!”

“Miss, you only live once” then the truck left

“Don’t do this again. Please be strong for me. I don’t want you to shed tears because of me. I’m letting you go now” a voice whispered. She looked around but saw nothing

“Luhan… Is this the reason why you broke up with me? Why didn’t you let me know this?! So that I cherished every moment with you! Why Luhan! Why?!” she’s like a crazy lady crying on front of Luhan’s house

“Smile. Just smile and be happy. I’m sure, he’ll be happy to see you smile” Luhan’s mother suggested

“It’s so hard, uhmuhneem. So hard” she clutched her chest

“I’m sure he’s watching and he doesn’t want to see you shedding so much tears. Everything happens for a purpose and it’s already his time” the three of them hugged each other while Luhan is there watching them.

END