Far longer than forever

I'll hold you in my heart…

"Do you Jung Yunho, take Kwon BoA to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

I glanced up at Yunho, my best friend - my husband. He smiled at me and I felt my heart flutter. He looked so handsome, standing there in his tuxedo, his hair combed. His smile lighted up his face and he looked so happy I couldn't help but feel radiant.

"You may now kiss the bride," the minister said as he concluded the ceremony.

My lips were brushed with the lightest of kisses, as Yunho whispered softly in my ear before drawing back.

"I love you."

I smiled and took his hand. Together we walked out of the chapel amidst the smiles of all the people that we loved. Today should have been the happiest moment of my life, but my joy was somewhat marred by the hole in my heart that refused to heal.

"Careful!"

I snapped out of my self-pitying and caught myself just moments before smashing my head into the car frame. I settled myself into the car with no more incidents and through the fluff of my gown, I felt Yunho's hand clasp mine.

"I love you BoA," he said with his beautiful grin.

I smiled at him and squeezed his hand. My hand felt unnaturally cold in his and I felt a shudder go through me as his hand started to warm mine.

I looked pensively out the window, watching the scenery fly fast by me. I was loved, but did I love?

It's almost like you're here with me

Although we're far apart.

"BoA," Yunho said softly, drawing me from my thoughts.

"Yes?"

"We're here."

"Oh." I smiled at him. I struggled to remember where 'here' was. But a quick glance outside told me that he had meant the wedding reception.

The car door flung open and Yunho's hand reached for mine from the outside. I was briefly reminded of the past, of how he used to be so chivalrous…

As constant as a star

I close my eyes and I am where you are…

I watched as my father struggled with his emotions as he tried to finish his toast for me and Yunho.

"Yunho, you're like family and I couldn't be happier. You're already like a son to me. You're the only person that I'd ever trust with BoA. Welcome to the family," my father concluded gruffly.

He sat back down, stiffly - his face a bright red. Yunho’s father had no qualms with public exhibition, and he spoke cheerfully to the crowd.

"Yunho! Aren't you going to start the dances with your lovely wife?"

I turned to Yunho, hoping that he could see the panic in my eyes. He proffered me his hand and I took it, albeit reluctantly.

"Don't worry," Yunho said with a joking laugh, "I took lessons."

I just groaned and placed my free hand onto his shoulder. The music started and he pulled me close. We started to spin across the dance floor. I closed my eyes giving myself into the moment, remembering nothing but that night long ago, in a lighted gazebo - dancing to the sound of the night.

Far longer than forever

Like no love ever knows

And with your love I'll never be alone…

"That wasn't so bad now, was it?" Yunho whispered jokingly into my ear.

"It was worse, but it was bearable with you," I said, equally as teasing. We both left the dance stage - eager that the embarrassment was over. I settled myself into one of the vacant seats and Yunho stood behind me, with a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you having fun?" he asked me worriedly, a frown creasing his brow. "I am," I assured him. But even though I was physically here, I knew that my mind was miles away.

How could I be with all the people that I love, but yet still feel so utterly alone? I gazed at the dancers on the floor - all happily spinning in the arms of the people they loved. How was it that on my wedding day - I'd be jealous of all the people around me? The voice in my head was unyielding. Because he isn't the one you love.

"He is!" I insisted.

"Who is?" Yunho asked confusedly.

"Nothing," I tried to smile convincingly at him.

"Okay. Well, are you thirsty? I could get you something to drink…" he trailed off, unsure of how to treat me.

"Sure, something to drink would be great."

I watched his retreating back, and felt a pang of guilt. This wasn't Yunho's fault, why was I being such a horrible person? I resolved to myself that I must enjoy myself today and to cast away all my miserable thoughts. Do you love me still?

Far longer than forever

Much longer than forever

And with your love I'll never be alone.

"I know you don't like parties BoA - but I do hope that you enjoyed yourself today."

"I did," I said reassuringly.

"Good," Yunho said, breathing a sigh of relief.

I undressed slowly, and I took a deep breath. This was it. Yunho approached me cautiously and as the both of us fell into the bed, he brought his lips close to my ear.

"I love you."

"I know."

He pressed his lips against my temple and trailed butterfly kisses to my lips. I knew that I should feel something - anything. But all I could feel was loneliness. Why didn't you come back? I'll wait forever for you. Until you tell me that you love me… I love you, Jaejoong.