I still love you
Why can't he say it?
Anyeong^^
So i have a sad news: The end of this fanfic is near. TT.TT . It will last until chapter 10. Please support it :)
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Woomi's POV
It has been a week since Ilhoon's incident. I haven't slept more than 4 hours since then. My heart is breaking every time i see him there...Lying helpless. Im almost living in hospital. When im not at Ilhoon im at my dad. I think im going crazy.
Every time i walk inside Ilhoon's room , i feel nothing, but a cold and dark atmosphere. It gives me the feeling as if the whole incident was my fault. Every time he moves his fingers, im afraid to loose him. My whole life was depending on him. As a teenager, i thought he would take care of everything, i believed that he could protect me, but since im not a teenager anymore, my life change in an instant.
Ever since Sungjae came in my life, i felt my life became more comfortable. He is the kind of boyfriend i wished Ilhoon would be. He gives me the feeling as if im special, as if im the only one. But still ....I know deep inside of me , i only like sungjae and i love Ilhoon.
I remember the day met Ilhoon, I lost my mind, except him...everything was in slow motion. He was the guy who taught me to love and dream. He was the guy who hurt me and made me cry. He is the guy who gave me the feeling of being alive. But he is not the guy who is ready to take care of me.
I came in his room. His dad was there sitting next to him. Saying sorry for the thing he did wrong and for the thing which went wrong.
Until he opened his eyes. Our expressions were shocked. The doctor said that he might not be able to be conscious for 3 months. Something like a short comma, but he... he opened his eyes! He smiled at his dad and tried to speak. Not noticing me , i sneaked out of the room, leaving a sigh.
I think this is the end. I shouldn't show up anymore. I shouldn't speak nor make any communication with him. I walked home having a relief feeling, while thinking about him. Then i saw Sungjae waiting outside with flowers in his hands. I can't help but to smile. Exactly those things should have been done from Ilhoon.
Sungjae is such an helpless romantic guy. It is just too hard not to like him.
"Noona!"
"Sungjae-goon what are you doing here?"
"Ahh! I bought your dad flowers"
"Why didn't you went to the hospital?"
"Ahh.. They didn't let me" He pouted.
"Aww.. It's okay! I'll bring it"
"Noona! How about a date?"
"Hmm? Wae? "
"Well..You might be super stress. I mean you almost won't come home anymore"
"Then shouldn't i sleep, when im stress? Im tired sungjae- goon , let me sleep okay?" I went inside. He followed me anyway.
"Then i'll make you some soup."
"Hmm? Soup? sounds fun! Im curious if you can cook soup" He walked away. That reminds me of the soups i always make for Ilhoon. Every single thing in this world reminds me of him.It is just i made so much memories with him..
Sungjae came back with a bowl of soup. I wanted to et alone, but he insisted to feed me. He fed me , the was i always fed Ilhoon. I felt like a sick 7 years old girl.
We spent the whole afternoon together. Just like always, he made me laugh and made me forget my worries.
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3 Months later~
"Noona! Can you bring me some kimchi, that your mom made?"
"Wae~ Just buy in supermarket"
"No! Your mom's Kimchi is the best!"
"Ahh--Okay" I was sewing his destroyed T-shirt.
"Yah!- Next time be careful! Your clothes are getting uglier and uglier"
"Okay~ Okay~. Noona! What do you think about an engagement party?"
"E-enga-g-gement party? W-What? Why all of the sudden?"
"We'll get married anyway.. Why? Are you hesitating? We are dating for almost 3 months."
"I know, but..."
"But what? You still love him, huh?" he said in a deep voice. His mind seems to be in space.
"W-what?? N-no!" I said shocked.
"Then prove it! Let's meet Ilhoon hyung. You see ,ever since you stopped your connection with him, the atmosphere between us is so....awkward. I mean sometimes he stares at me as if he'd like to kill me. Just meet him with me, and let's end this all officially."
"Araso..."
What would happen? I closed my eyes and thought of the memories i managed to forget in this last 3 months. Why would Sungjae do something like this? Can't he understand, that im in the move on phase... Im afraid...really...What if the feeling i had before, come back again? The love that i felt...The memories....
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I wore my clothes...and looked at the mirror. I felt worried and at the same time afraid. It feels like as if im meeting my ex-boyfriend. But nothing happened between us. And if something did, then it was only in my dreams.
Sungjae and i entered a restaurant. As we came there Ilhoon was already waiting and staring outside the window. His hair is black again. That reminds me of Ilhoon before his debut.
"Hyung!" He turned and looked at my eyes, but i avoided.
"Sungjae- goon, what took you so long?"
"Ahh! Noona changed her clothes again and again." I could feel his gaze. He smiled as he hear Sungjae. Oh ho! M heart is thumping! That's not good! Stop looking at him.
"Ah! Hyung! Did you ordered already?"
"Of course! They'll kick me out if i won't. Woomi-ah! Why aren't you looking at me? Avoiding me??"
"ahh.. Noo! Why would i do that?" His expression changed into dark and cold.
"ahhh.. Geure! I orderd your favorite food."
"Ahh! Really? Thanks^^"
"Hyung, i'll just go to the bathroom" Sungjae left us. then the awkwardness hit us.
"Woomi-yah! Congrats! I heard you're getting married"
"Ahh! Deh"
"So...How is it? Dating Sungjae"
"It's all right! He gives me the feeling that he loves me. He did all the things i wanted you to do" I said with teary eyes.
"You know I wanted to come that day."
"Then why didn't you come?!!"
"Sohyun! It was her fault! I know that you don't love sungjae. Leave him! Come with me! We'll run away just like you said before. We'll forget everything and start a new life."
"How could you speak like that?! You were the one who broke my heart! You were the one who made me cry! You were the one who caused me many sleepless nights. And now you're saying that i should leave Sungjae? The one who took care of me at the times that i was weak?"
"I loved you ever since i met you! Do you know how much i tried to move on for th past 3 months?? You have no idea! I must smile in the camera even if i don't like to!"
"You know that i still love you, that's why you're so brave to say something like that. Maybe if you said that to the old Woomi, she would have believed you, but the new Woomi won't even give you any attention." I said and stood up. I wanted to leave the scene as fast as i could, but he pulled me closely.
"Sometimes, people get tired and need to let go of things" he whispered
Then all of the sudden i felt a pair of soft lips on mine. He started kissing me passionately.
That's right, I still love you.
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