The first time I saw you was the first time we met as a trainee in Cube Company.For me,you were the wonderful person that everyone want to befriend with,nice sharp features,funny character and very good to everyone.You were the ideal boyfriend that every girl dream of to be with.And that was the mistake to begin with,I,myself,a guy,fall in love with a guy name Yoon Doojoon.

I denied myself saying that was admiration and nothing more than that.But as I keep denied myself,I fall in love more along the way.I scream,I shout,I hit myself saying this is wrong because HE is a man,and I’m a man,HE would NEVER ever like me because HE is not gay.Although the truth hurt,but atleast I can watch him from aside rather losing him from my side permenantly.

A year later,we debuted as BEAST.Since we debuted,I busy myself creating songs to distract me from stalking Doojoon because I was afraid he would notice something was odd about me.I was saying this because there is one time before we debuted,he asked why am I avoiding him,always averted my eyes if he is talking to me.At that time,I can feel myself blushing as red as a tomato because he noticed me but before I was lose in my wild-oh-so-called-Doojoon-la-la-land,I keep my cool façade saying I was not avoiding,this is coz,I feel myself awkward with someone I’m not used to talk to.I can see his hurt feeling faces that make me wanna hug him saying “its not because of awkwardness,its because I LOVE YOU YOON DOOJON”but I restrained myself because I don’t want him to look at me with disgust.

Till that day came where my fear finally come true,I was planning to confess because Hyunseung was being Hyunseung force me to confess to Doojoon.The reason??He asked Doojoon once whether he had someone he like,and then he said yes.He describe that person is annoying in a adorable way,always whining and talk back,like to eat,like to talk a little too much with such a small mouth and mostly the one he like is a MAN!!!!OMG I was literally flipped the chair that I was sitting on because he confessed to Hyunseung he like guy!!!!!That time,all my fear of losing him disappeared all together hearing that statement he make.

But it all vanished,the words I was ready myself to confess,the feeling I keep inside my heart,the desire I  want to embrace you in my arm and the love that blooming inside my heart since the first time I met you when we’re a trainee.You were holding hands with HIM,cuddling,sweet talking to each other and holding each other hands.All the things that I want to confess,vanish into thin air,disappearing together with my feeling and love towards you.All the thing happen that night was like a blurry image of uncaptured picture just like my heart that’s breaking into millions of pieces.

From that day onwards,I distant myself from the group,busy muself with my work.Sometimes,when they try to make jokes or talk to me,I smile,laugh and talk my like casual me.But deep inside,I was dying and the only one who know is Hyunseung and the one who cause this is the happy couple beside me.I restrained myself from bawling,screaming why didn’t you noticed that I’m the one who loves you from the beginning.When I’m alone,its feels like I’m the only one who make this mistake in the first place,falling in love with someone that couldn’t possibly I can call mine.I laughed,I cried and I laughed again and I cried again.

Until one day,I’ve decided maybe its time.Before things gets worse,maybe I should calm myself and go away and recovered from this unrequited love story.Funny when feeling gets uncontrolled,everything you do seems to be wrong.But maybe this is the best,for me,for you and for him.

OMG!!!!aghsdvjgjubngi!!I'm so sorry!!!This is my first oneshot and I hope you guys were happy about it and there is 1 more chap left.Sorry for the lame chapter and English is not my mother tongue so I hope you can bear with it and lastly thanks for subscribing and viewing!!!Oh before I forgot,subscribe,comments and upvote!!Annyeong...

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