Sineun stares at the man in the bed once again, if it isn't for the fact the machine next to him constantly beeps, she would've thought he was asleep. The man laying there, the one on the brink of death is a man she knows very well. In fact, she would say they were closer than two peas in a pod. But that wouldn't be exactly true, he kept something this important from her, something life changing. A tear rolls down her cheek as she remembers that just a day ago he was smiling at her and teasing her for being so serious on their date. She got the phone call this morning and she left everything to come down here. s had greeted her at the door as they were leaving for their schedules. No one knows when he's going to wake, no one knows how he even let his blood sugar get this low. Frustrated at the world, all Sineun could do is watch the one she loves slowly perish in front of her eyes. Some people may say that she’s overreacting, that he’s going to wake up and laugh at her for crying, but she’s lost comatose people before, she knows what it’s like and she didn’t want to lose him too. The image of him becoming paler than a vampire and also as cold and stiff as a rock throws her into hysterics and she runs towards the door, making it out of the room before her legs became jelly and couldn’t support her anymore. A hand places itself supportively onto her shoulder and she looks up to see his mother standing there. 

"Mother," she whispers, having no strength in her to say anymore than that simple word. Her mother-in law smiles reassuringly.

"Hush, child, there's no need to cry, we both know he's going to make it," his mother says, trying to reassure the girl on the floor. If there is one thing she knows from raising her son, it’s that he’s stubborn and when he wants something, he’ll get it. She knows he wants to live.

"I guess you're right," Sineun says to convince herself.  

"Of course, now stand up, child, you're gonna dirty your clothes," her mother in law helps her up onto her feet and they both look behind them at the man in the bed, noticing that Sineun didn’t have the heart to go back in, his mother decides to help the child heal a bit.  

"Aren’t you going to treat your mother to food, child? I've been here since last night, I'm kinda hungry." Sineun silently thanks the woman for her offer, she knows she wouldn't make it if she went back into that cramped room where no matter the direction she looked, she could always tell his unmoving body was  a mere couple feet away. 

"Of course, I don't want you to starve," she says, walking away from the room with the support of her mother-in law next to her, both women hopes that the man behind them hears their prayers and wake up soon. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Silence looms over the women as they pick at their food, both glancing at each other once in awhile to make sure they were still there. Sineun is glad that she has his mother keeping her company right now, without her, Sineun would probably have no hair left.

“Did the doctor tell you anything at all?” She asks, her curiosity getting the best of her. She knows that at a time like this, the last thing they needed was to be discussing the state he is in. but she just couldn’t help herself. Her mother-in law sighs and looks up at her daughter’s expectant face.

“He said that usually people who go into a hypoglycemic coma, they should get better once they had been injected with a dose of sugar but for some reason he didn’t wake up, they’re still trying to figure out exactly what’s wrong with him, but they don’t know when he’ll wake up,” she says, frowning a bit. Sineun's throat clogs up at her mother's words, tears start to form in her eyes and she blinks them away. Her mother pats her hand and smiles.

"Knowing Hanbyul, he's probably already awake by now, there's no need to cry,” She says, reassuring the young girl. She remembers the day these two got married, the look of pure love illuminating her only child’s face. Although they married at the early age of 19, she approves of them very much, she can tell that they’ll be together forever, supporting each other through the goods and the bads. Hanbyul is very lucky to have this girl, there aren’t many girls who could deal with him and Sineun does it with ease.

Sineun smiles at her mother. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Now let’s go home,” the older says, holding the girl’s hand and leading her out of the hospital. A new hope coming over Sineun.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It has been three months since he was first admitted into the hospital and there seems to be no improvement in his state whatsoever. The doctors had put him on life support about a month ago and Sineun thinks that's the only thing keeping him alive right now. Her visits to his bedside soon begin to dwindle as she drowns herself in work. Just seeing his face makes her want to cry. The hopefulness that she had felt with her mother-in law that day three months ago when they went to eat no longer exists. Was this really how she is live her life from now on? Leaving the life of her husband in the hands of fate and modern medication? Sineun wrings her hands together as she sits in the lobby, waiting for her weekly conference with the doctor.

"Mrs, Jang, you may come in now," the nurse calls. She nods in acknowledgement and walks into the doctor's office. He smiles at her as she walks in. 

"Ah, Mrs. Jang, how're you doing?" He asks as she takes a seat. 

"Is he ever going to wake up?" Sineun asks without even bothering to start a normal conversation. They’ve been doing this for long enough that he should know that she doesn’t come in for normal small talk. There is nothing "normal" about watching your husband die right in front of your face. 

The doctor sighs, seeing that it’s no use in trying to make conversation with her, she always mean business when she walks into his office. "You've asked that every week now, Mrs. Jang, and I always give you the same answer. We're trying our best. But medical work can only go so far, the will to live is his own, if he doesn't have the heart to wake himself up then... There's nothing we can do, I'm sorry." 

"What kind of doctor can't even save the life of his own patient?" She asks, tears b in her eyes. 

"I wish I could save him but there's nothing I can do." 

"There has to be something, you're the professional." 

"There's really noth-" 

"JUST SAVE MY HUSBAND! ... Please, just please." The tears were falling fast now as she is once again told the same thing for the umpteenth time. The doctor looks at her sympathetically and hands her a box of tissues. 

"I'm sorry," he whispers. She grabs the box of tissues and gets up to leave his office. It has been the same routine for the past month or so, she would talk to the doctor and then she would go drink at the local bar near her house until she passes out and somehow end up back in her own bed. She doesn’t even care how she ends up there, she just knows she does.

"Back again, Sineun? Doc told you there's no hope?" The bartender asks as he passes her another drink. This has to be like her 5th one and she’s still drinking.

She giggles in her drunk faze, "You know, Billy, I always knew there was no hope. *hic* the moment the bastard asked me out I knew I was in for the ride of my life," she mumbles. 

"Mhm, yeah I hear ya," Billy says, not even bothering to correct her about that fact that his name is Hyunjin. He doesn’t even know where she got the name Billy, but when you work around drunk people 24/7, you don’t question things.

She giggles again, "did you know his birthday is on the Fourth of July? The day those filthy Americans shoot the damn fireworks as if to celebrate the practically dead man's birthday, I hate that day. It’s like there’s no use in celebrating his birthday if he’s in a hospital bed, counting the days he has left, you know what I’m saying?" 

"It hasn't passed yet, Sineun dear, your husband's only been out for three months." 

" you, Billy, no one asked your opinion." 

"You're right no one did, and I didn't state my opinion." 

"Shaddup, you voice, is like nails digging into my skull. It's worse than that Bieber chick. *hic*" Hyunjin chuckles and goes back to serving drinks to the other customers as she passed out on the bar table. He looks over and shakes his head at the girl, “Five, new record,” he muses. The bartender then presses speed dial number one on his cellphone and waits for the other side to pick up. 

"Hey, Kyumin? She passed out again." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sineun sits alone on the beach, watching the tides roll in and out. The blazing hot sun caused her feet to burn on the sand but she didn't care. A man comes and sits down next to her, she looks over and is shocked to find someone she didn't expect there. He looks over at her with sad eyes and stands up to leave. She grabs his hand and he turns around. 

"Don't go," she begs. 

He shakes her off and says, "I must." She stands up and tries to follow him, but he walks into the water and continues to walk until he is fully submerged in the water and she can’t see him. She swims out to where he should be but there's no sign of him. 

"Hanbyul!" She calls, diving down to look for him and coming back up for air when she needed it. "HANBYUL!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Bolting up, Sineun realizes it was all a dream. She hugs her legs to her body and wonders was caused her to dream of that. This was the first time something like this had happened since he went into a coma, She feels as if he’s getting further and further away from her. Like the day they would separate forever draws nearer as the days go by. Sineun gets out of bed and changes, it’s time she gives her husband a visit. She drives up to the hospital and walks into his room. The beeping of the monitor is the only thing that greets her. She sits down in the chair located next to his bed and just stares at him.

“Hanbyul, I miss you,” she whispers, just watching him as he lays there peacefully. She can just imagine him going to sleep like this forever and never waking up. Her heart clenches at this thought. She gets up from her chair, kisses him on the cheek and then leaves the hospital to go to work.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sineun stares down at the menu and wonders what she should get, everything just looks so good. "Hmm... What do you want?" She asks her companion and looks up over her menu at her date who was still looking at the menu. 

"To die," he says, simply, putting down his menu to reveal the face of her husband. 

"What?" She asks in surprise. He had said it so nonchalantly that it came as a shock to her. Is this what he really wants?

"Kill me, Sineun," he whispers. She shakes her head at him in disbelief as her surroundings begin to disappear, instead of being in a restaurant with him, she is now sitting in her office with her head on the desk, she had fallen asleep during work. She sits up and straightens herself, trying to get back on the task and forget the dream. But the words echoed in her mind "Kill me" he had said. "Kill me." 

Her phone rings and she picks it up, “Hello?” She answers.

“Hey girl, I haven’t seen you in awhile, let’s meet up,” her friends says. Sineun smiles, this is exactly what she needs right now, to confide to a girlfriend who she knows she can trust.

"I've been having dreams," she admits to her friend who works at a therapist's office as an apprentice. 

"What kind of dreams?" Her friends asks. 

"Death, Hanbyul keeps showing up in my dreams and begging me to kill him, it's really unnerving." 

"Sounds to me like it's a message?" 

"What kind of message?" 

"He wants you to kill him." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That night, she knew it was coming, she knew he was going t enter her dreams again. This time, she was prepared for him.

"Explain," she ordered, seriously. 

"Explain what?" He laughs, melting her heart a bit, she had missed that laugh. 

"The dreams," she whispers. He stops laughing and looks at her seriously. 

"We both know I'm not going to make it, so why keep me alive?" 

"But you will make it, you just have to keep trying." 

"That's the thing, I don't want to keep trying anymore, I'm done trying, I just... i just want rest now without worrying about whether or not I'm going to have an episode on stage or whether or not I gave myself enough insulin. Other people might be able to do it, to live this way, but I can't. I don't have the willpower to." 

"What're you trying to say? That you don't want to grow old with me and have children and watch LEDApple become Hallyu stars? Why would you want to throw all that away?" 

He smiles sadly at her, "That all sounds wonderful, but my place isn't in this world." 

A tears rolls down her cheek, "Hanbyul..." 

"Shh, babe, don't cry, this is what I want ok?" 

"Are you sure?" 

"100% positive." 

Hesistantly she nods, "Ok." 

He smiles at her and says, "I love you." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

She caresses his cheek as the nurse watches them. The tears no longer falling out of her eyes as she had cried herself out the night before. Her mother-in law didn't want to come because it pained her too much but because Sineun is his spouse, she has the right to make the decision for him because he isn't able to. The doctor puts a hand on her shoulder and she looks up at him. 

"Are you sure about this?" She nods as an answer as clenched tight, preventing her from speaking. She grabs the limp hand of the man laying in front of her and brings it up to her cheek, caressing it to her face. She closes her eyes and listens to the beeping of the monitor, as she listens the sound turns from a beeping to a flat sound and a single tear rolls out of her closed eyes. "I love you too." She thinks as her single tear turned into loud sobs and her hold on his hand became tighter. "I love you too."