When Eli finds him, he's standing on the balcony of his apartment, looking out at the street below. There's a cigarette between his fingers but it still looks fresh, barely smoked. Eli slides the glass door shut behind him and stands next to the boy, wrapping his own empty fingers around the railing. The boy puts the cigarette to his lips, taking a long drag—but he's inexperienced, and he chokes on the smoke instead. Eli wants to help him but doesn't.

"How'd you get in?" The boy asks, not even bothering to look in Eli's direction.

"You gave me a key," Eli simply replies.

The boy finally turns to look at him and Eli turns too, the boys staring at each other for a few brief seconds. Eli takes the time to examine his face; his eyes and his nose and his brown hair and thinks that even if all the pieces look correct, when they're put together, they don't look like the Kevin he knows. Kevin shakes his head and looks away.

"No I didn't."

Eli chuckles, turning to look out over the balcony with Kevin. "Yeah, you're right. I just kind of took it from you."

"Among other things," Kevin mutters.

Eli ignores his statement and instead makes a grab for the cigarette. "C'mon, you don't smoke. Give it here."

"I do now," Kevin replies petulantly. He turns his back to Eli and takes another, smaller drag and succeeds this time. "Go home and go to sleep, why are you even here?"

"You didn't say goodbye to anybody," Eli offers as an explanation. Kevin's eyes narrow but he forces himself to keep his eyes on the street below. 

"Am I a child?" Kevin asks. Eli almost makes a joke but refrains from doing so. "Do I have to ask permission to leave? Practice was over, so I went home."

"No you didn't," Eli says, echoing Kevin's words from before.

Kevin spares a narrowed glance in his direction once again and spits out, "You're an idiot. Yes I did."

"Remember what you told me after we debuted?" Eli asks suddenly, smiling gently despite the obvious hostility from Kevin.

"No, of course I don't. But I have a feeling you're going to tell me."

"'Home is with U-Kiss', you said. Not in the US, not in Korea, but wherever U-Kiss is," Eli explains. Kevin is momentarily distracted with trying to remember when he said that, so Eli takes the opportunity to snatch the cigarette out of his hand. Eli brings it to his mouth and takes a drag, blowing a perfect smoke ring. Kevin is vaguely impressed before remembering to be offended that his cigarette was stolen.

"That's deep, Eli," Kevin replies bitterly. "You should write that down."

"If I did, would you remember it?" Eli questions, blowing another smoke ring out over the edge of the balcony. 

Kevin gives in to his curiosity and asks, "Where'd you learn to do that?"

"You're avoiding the question."

"So are you."

"Some friends back home," Eli answers. 

Kevin scoffs disbelievingly at his reply. He thinks of multiple things to say in response but settles on, "Interesting choice of words."

Eli smiles softly at him again and mutters, "You caught me."

The two stand in silence for a few minutes, various thoughts running through their heads. Kevin watches a girl walk along the sidewalk below and contemplates her story, her life. Eli simply wonders what time it is and wishes he wore a sweater.

"Wanna try something?" Eli suddenly asks, Kevin jumping slightly in surprise. 

"With you?" And there goes Kevin's eyes, narrowing at him once again. "The last time you said that—"

"Yeah, I know," Eli quickly interrupts, finally seeming to briefly lose his calm demeanor that he has kept up thus far. "C'mon, you either do or you don't."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Kevin replies in hopes of shutting Eli up and getting him to go home. Eli takes a long drag from the cigarette but holds it in, grabbing Kevin's face and pressing their mouths together. Kevin struggles against his hold but Eli ignores him, nudging Kevin's mouth open and transferring the smoke to him. He pulls away to let Kevin exhale, bumping their shoulders together amicably.

"What the was that?" Kevin bursts out when he's finally breathing more normally.

"Shotgunning," is all Eli says in reply, angering Kevin even more.

"You know that's not what I meant," Kevin replies heatedly, making random gestures with his hands. "What is this?"

"I don't know," Eli answers almost happily.

"You don't know," Kevin deadpans, his now free hands coming up to grip the railing. The cold of the metal stings his hands but he barely feels it, even when the feeling courses completely through his body and leaves him shivering.

"Nope."

"How do you even function? You never know anything." Kevin makes one last feeble grab at the cigarette, but it's half-hearted and he fails. His previous anger has already drained out him, the heat being replaced by the cold from the railing.

"I just live," Eli retorts airily. "You should try it some time."

Kevin scoffs once again. "I have," he says. "It's not all it's cracked up to be." 

"Cynicism doesn't look good on you," Eli mumbles before taking another drag of the cigarette. Kevin watches out of the corner of his eye for the smoke ring but it never comes, Eli just breaths out normally.

"Yeah, well that shirt doesn't look good on you but you don't see me pointing it out," Kevin says childishly, subconsciously pouting a little.

Eli just laughs, loudly and clearly, so that anyone walking below them would almost be jealous of the apparent happiness coming from just above their head. 

Kevin ignores the urge to feel offended at being laughed at and instead turns to face Eli. "Can I have my cigarette back now?"

"Hmm," Eli hums, blowing another smoke ring just to the side of Kevin's face. "Nope. If you want it, come get it."

Kevin is halfway through asking, "What do you mean?" before he cuts himself off, watching Eli sit on the cold concrete and leaning against the outer wall of his apartment. Eli takes a long drag of the cigarette, letting his cheeks puff out and sends an expectant look in Kevin's direction. Kevin blinks once, twice, three times and moves to sit down next to him. Eli grabs his face almost frantically, the need to breath outweighing any concern he has for Kevin's wellbeing, and presses their mouths together again. This time Kevin is ready when Eli nudges his mouth open and passes the smoke to him. 

"Do you have any more?" Eli asks, putting out what's left of the cigarette.

"A whole pack," Kevin replies, pulling the nearly full pack of cigarettes from his pocket and handing them to Eli, along with a lighter.

"Why?"

"Thought it would make me feel different," Kevin mutters. "Older, wiser, more mature. Maybe."

"More in control?" Eli suggests.

Kevin doesn't even bother to muster the energy to laugh and instead gives a simple, "Yeah."

"We should go inside," Eli says, putting his arm around Kevin's shoulders and rubbing his hand on Kevin's forearm. "Aren't you cold?"

"Yeah, but," Kevin begins, shifting closer to Eli and leaning his head on the boy's shoulder. "I don't mind."

"One more?" Eli asks and feeling Kevin nod against his shoulder, adds, "Just one more. Then we go inside and go to sleep. We have to get up early tomorrow."

"Don't remind me," Kevin spits out bitterly.

"This is your dream, Kevin," Eli tells him gently. "You love it. You love us." You love me, they both think, but nobody says it.

Kevin says nothing in reply, instead he turns himself sideways and drapes his legs across Eli's lap. He keeps his head on Eli's shoulder, takes the pack of cigarettes out of Eli's hand and pulls one out.

"You're right," Kevin says quickly, reluctant to admit it. He lifts his head up and gently takes hold of Eli's jaw with one hand. With the other hand he puts a cigarette in between Eli's lips, placing it towards the right and pressing his own lips towards the left. He pulls back, lights the cigarette and says, "I just forget sometimes."

Eli just stares at him for a few seconds and Kevin quickly gets fed up, taking the cigarette for himself. While he's taking a drag, Eli says, "I'll always be here to remind you," and Kevin almost chokes in his effort not to laugh. Kevin replies by pressing their mouths together and passing the smoke into Eli's mouth. 

They spend the next hour passing smoke back and forth, smoking two additional cigarettes because Eli could never say no to Kevin. When they finally go inside, they collapse on the couch and fall asleep almost instantly. When they wake up, Eli is sprawled on the floor while Kevin is still on the couch, the only memories of the previous night being the taste of cigarettes and unspoken words on their tongues.