Dear Diary.

I think I'll call you Kai. Only because this annoying person I met today doesn't really like him. Kai's my best friend, after Kyungsoo of course.

I could call Kai his real name but he never really liked it. Besides, it's longer, and a name's just a name. In case anyone finds this, I couldn't care less. My life is already as screwed up as it's going to be. I used to believe in karma, so if there is any justice in the world, this diary will get taught to future children to show them just how crap their life could be.

We're poor. Not the I have enough money to buy a Range Rover but I'm still living in a dingy old flat poor. Like REALLY POOR. Kai, I don't think even my mum realises how poor we are. I think that the typical female drama lead's role is based on my life, though fortunately my mother hasn't run away...yet.

I have to work so many jobs, school blurs into work and vice versa (but school is much more monotonous. And believe me, since one of my jobs is being a telephone salesman (that's right, I'm a guy) and that job is literally 'Hello!' *beep* 'Hel-' *beep*)

And to top it all off, at my new job delivering papers, there has been a guy called Chanyeol wandering round with me.

It would be nice company, if he wasn't so ANNOYING. My paper round is 20 minutes, and by the end of it, I want to rip my own ear off. Wait. No. Sorry. I want to rip both my ears off, and then cut off his tongue, so no-one else will have to hear him. Fine then. I just want to cut off his tongue. Maybe actually sow his mouth together.

I do the round every day (even weekends. My life, huh?). The first day was OK. A bit boring. The second day this guy said 'Hi' to me. I said 'Hello' back. Kai, if I ever get out of my poverty trap, I am going to spend all my time building a time machine, then go back in time to the exact moment I met Chanyeol and slap him. Then slap myself for almost saying 'Hi' to the only creature on Earth God should not have created.

The second day, with the chatter I found it a bit annoying. I just thought he was on a caffeine-rush. Kai, this guy is ALWAYS on a caffiene-rush. Imagine Kyungsoo on a caffiene rush. Then times it by a sugar rush. Then times it by the joy that you've just won a 1000 million won lottery. This is how jumpy he is every DAY. Take a bit of time to think about it. Then think EVERY DAY.

Now you must understand 10% of what I am feeling.

And the annoying thing is, he is super polite. When I get back to the post office, and then repeat what I've been saying for the last 20 minutes.

'GO AWAY YOU....CLUTTLEMONKEY!' Yes. Cluttle monkey. I ave been shouting insults on and off for the last week, I don;t have that much imagination.

Then Chanyeol by magic looks like a lost puppy, his demeanour changes to sad and rejected, and it looks like his rush has worn off.

To be honest, I was very happy that he looked like he was about to cry. Anything is better than hyper Chanyeol, even suicidal Chanyeol. Oh how I wish.

And at that exact moment, Onew my co-worker comes past.

Onew is very nice. So, when he glared at me hugging Chanyeol (did I mention he was a frickin' giant? No? Well he is. That makes me even madder. Why is someone so stupid blessed with the gift of height?!) awkwardly, I actually felt like I had done something wrong. When Onew gave Chanyeol a lollipop (another thing: despite his height and his deep voice, people still, for some reason, treat him like a child. This has nothing to do with his handsome, childish face.).

And when Chanyeol walked out, on his lollipop, he turned round and grinned at me. GRINNED AT ME! AND WHEN I THOUGHT THAT FINALLY HE'D GOTTEN OFF HIS RUSH. And the worst thing was, it was an evil grin. I'd never even see him do an evil grin. I have decided today that he is an evil genius.

How can you be so annoying yet loved by everyone yet pick on the only person who doesn't seem to love you? And do an evil grin with a lollipop in your mouth? Is it even possible to do an evil grin with a lollipop in your mouth?

I hate you Chanyeol.

I will get your last name.

Not because I like you, so I can stalk you when I get rich and famous and then buy your wife and your house AND STEAL ALL THE LOLLIPOPS IN THE WORLD SO YOU CAN NEVER BE HAPPY!

...

...

I just had the horrific thought maybe even that won't stop him grinning.

Give me a moment, Kai, while I try to stop the panic attack I'm about to have

Writhing on the floor in the hypothetical pain of it all,

백현 Baekhyun.