" Are you not feeling well?" 

"No." 

" You can just rest during practice then, Junhyung. I'm sure the others will be fine with it."

" I can't." 

" You can and you will. "

"But-"

" No buts. Just rest."

"Fine."

"I love you."

"Yeah."

Of course Yoseob's persistence won out in the end, it always did. Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that Junhyung was feeling worse than he said and that's why he had been so angry. Not going to practice was the best thing he could do if that was so.

But... Junhyung always said I love you back to him, why not this time? It bothered Yoseob and the idea of something being wrong distracted him. Did Junhyung get with Hara again to try and prove he wasn't gay? Was the man even actually sick?

" I'm going to get going. I have to check on Junhyung," Yoseob grumbled, grabbing his jacket from where it lay off to the side out of the way of the practicing members. Doojoon barely acknowledged him with a curt nod of the head, trying to be the serious leader he was supposed to be at practice.

It was raining outside when Yoseob finally gathered all of his things together, the singer standing at the doors of the studio. Angrily he yanked up the hood to his jacket, a scowl on his face. He walked with his head down, his steps slow and sluggish. He just needed to walk for awhile. He needed to clear his head and dull his anger before returning to Junhyung.But, it was so hard to do that with so many doubts in his head, voices in his thoughts telling him that Junhyung didn't love him anymore. That his love wasn't good enough for the older man.

The dread and sadness to pile in Yoseob's heart, the screams of Beast's fans and his own fans not reaching his ears. He didn't care about anyone else but Junhyung. No, he didn't care about anyone. If the man he loved wasn't going to return the love Yoseob gave him there was no point in giving in it. His mood had changed drastically as he walked, sometimes he cried and other times he clenched his fists in anger. In the end of it, his heart felt no lighter.  The walk was supposed to make him feel better. Instead, it made him feel an unsettling sense of betray and a mingled mix of hatred and love.

"I'm back. Are you awake?" Yoseob called out doubtfully after opening the dorm's door. After getting no response, Yoseob shrugged his jacket off with a small huff.

After a moment, Yoseob could hear the sounds of Junhyung shuffling around. If the older man had been sleeping, he wasn't now. Suddenly, Yoseob felt his heart tighten. He was nervous. Actually nervous to see Junhyung, the man he proclaimed love to so many months ago. The man he was in a secret relationship with to keep the fans and the other members happy. It seemed ridiculous and pointless to be so nervous and afraid of Junhyung but, he seemed to have good reasons.

"Just because you come back doesn't mean you have to wake me up." Junhyung said angrily, leaning against the bedroom's door frame. "Why're you even here right now, Yoseob?"

If Yoseob was to be blunt, Junhyung looked awful. The rapper's eyes were bloodshot, his cheeks bright red underneath them. With his hair a mess, and the blanket wrapped tightly around him, Junhyung truely looked like a sick person. However, the scowl on his face took away from some of the sympathy Yoseob felt for him. It wasn't his fault he was worried about the older man. It wasn't his fault that Junhyung was sick.

Yoseob shrugged in reply, knowing the words that would come from his lips wouldn't be kind ones. His nonexsistent care seemed to anger Junhyung even more, the rapper's own hands clenching into tight fists at his sides. The scowl deepened and Yoseob was sure he was going to get punched. Why was he always making Junhyung angry? Why couldn't he just for once be able to make the older man happy?

"Junhyung I-" Yoseob started to say, his voice stopped in surprise.

Instead of punching him, Junhyung wrapped his arms tightly around Yoseob with his face pressing into his hair. But... Wasn't Junhyung angry at him?

Still in shock Yoseob, hugged Junhyung back. It felt nice to be held and hold the man he loved back. However, even with the older man hugging him, he couldn't fight back the tears that trailed down his cheeks as Junhyung talked quietly to him, his voice teasing.

"You're so cruel Yang Yoseob. I've missed you all day and you come back and treat me like I'm scum." Junhyung teased playfully, not seeing the tears that ran down Yoseob's cheeks. " I was almost starting to think that I'd have to go be with someone else because you didn't care about me."

Even if his intentions were to play around like they always do, Junhyung's words hurt Yoseob. They hurt him more then even Yoseob could comprehend. Letting his arms drop back to his sides, Yoseob stared down at the floor. Lost in his own emotions and sadness, he didn't feel how warm Junhyung felt. He didn't see that what he originally thought of bloodshot eyes was actually blood. Nor was he going to notice.

"I'm the cruel one Junhyung? What about you? All day I've been worried, thinking that you didn't love me! All day it's been constant worry that you're going to get back with Hara!" Yoseob shouted, his frustration and emotions finally bursting through. "Most of the time I don't even know if we're seriously together! Junhyung if anyone is the cruel one, it's you!" With sobs threatening to escape from his throat, Yoseob jerked away harshly from Junhyung. The older man stood silently, too shocked to say anything as Yoseob grabbed his jacket and rushed back out the door.

Shaking his head, Junhyung slid down against the side of the couch. Yang Yoseob, what in the world is wrong with you? Junhyung thought, the lack of Yoseob's embrace and the silence of the dorm making the lonliness he felt almost unbearable.

_____________

So, how was the first chapter? Good, right?Huh? Huh? * nudge* Nah, You guys can decide that on your own. So first chapter done,finally. Thanks to the people who already subscribed even though a chapter wasn't even up. I'll work hard to make this something everyone will feel tons of emotions over. Fighting!