It Hurts To Know That You're No Longer Beside Me

I Love You So Much It Hurts

Ten years ago, Zhang Yi Xing had a perfect life when he was small, moving to Seoul with his family at the age of 10. Moving into a new neighbourhood. A new country, a new lifestyle and new friends. Yi Xing was very happy that he was moving to Seoul with his family because at first he wanted to come to Seoul and live by himself. However, his parents opposed him coming here to live alone so they came with him.

Yi Xing had lived in Mapo, a district in Seoul. The house was big enough to accommodate his parents and his younger sister. He had lived there for nine years of his life. During the nine years, he made a friend while playing in the playground. Her name was Haera. Kim Haera. The two became friends quickly, went to the same school and since then they were childhood best friends.

However, as they continued to hang each other, noth Yi Xing and Haera started to feel something towards each other thats more than a friend. Love. Both started to develop deeper feelings, both of them were scared that if they were to confess, they would get rejected. Yi Xing had confessed to her after gathering his courage. Both had been dating for two years.

For the two years, Yi Xing's life was the best. He loved Haera and Haera loved him. Yi Xing had thought that their love will last forever, until one day, a tradegy had happened, causing Yi Xing to break down. It happened when Yi Xing was on his way to Seoul University with a dozen of red roses in his hand which happened to be white day. Yi Xing had discovered that Haera was in a car crash when the driver had lost control of his car and had collided straight into Haera who was waiting at the gate for Yi Xing.

Nine months has passed since the accident and Yi Xing still could not erase the image he saw. Blood was everywhere and her body could be seen. It had been a dreadful year to him.

"Zhang Yi Xing!" Mr Jung slammed his hands on the table.

Yi Xing jolted up in his seat. "I'm sorry Mr Jung. I won't space out again." Yi Xing stood up and bowed to the teacher and sat back down in his seat.

Throughout the lesson, Yi Xing's mind still wondered off to Haera. Without Haera, his life wasn't meaningful anymore. It's like a part of him has died. The class ended as students packed their bags and went down to the cafeteria.

With a sigh, Yi Xing slowly packed his books into his bags. Even though his books were already in his bag, he just sat there looking blankly out the window and seemed so lost. That was until his two best friends Yi Luhan and Byun Baekhyun called out to him.

"Yi Xing-ah." Luhan tapped Yi Xing on the shoulder.

"I told you to not call me that."

"Fine. Lay." Luhan pouted.

Luhan, he may not look like it but he's actually twenty-two years old and has a baby-face. Most people will always say that he's lying about his age and that there is no way he can be twenty-two years old. That is until Luhan shows them his ID card or his passport and they all have the same expression. Shocked.

"Come on you lazy ." Baekhyun snapped. "One hour may seem long but if you're sitting here all day then we won't have time to eat!"

Byun Baekhyun, Yi Xing's other best friend. Again like Luhan, he's twenty years old. Students have the same reaction when he tells them his age. Both of them look young for their age. But unlike other boys, he wears eyeliner's, and some time, he puts them on better than girls. Baekhyun seems to have a split personality when he puts on his eyeliner.

"Alright, alright. Sheesh." Yi Xing rolled his eyes and followed them out as Luhan slung his arm around Yi Xing's shoulder.

The three of them made their way to the cafeteria to purchase some food before sitting down at a free table. While eating Yi Xing goes back to his memories with Haera.

::Flashback::

"Oppa!" Haera squeals as Yi Xing kissed her on the cheeks in the cafeteria. "People are watching." She whispered.

"Then let them watch." Yi Xing smiled, showing his dimples. "I'm just letting them know that you're my girl." He gave her a short peck on the lips.

Haera turned crimson red, her cheeks heating up as she turned away from Yi Xing.

"Ew~ Can you guys not be lovey dovey around us?" Baekhyun faked a gag action.

Yi Xing rolled his eyes. "Then get yourself a girlfriend, Baekhyun."

Luhan snickered at Baekhyun's lost expression before he laughed out loud.

"Shut up! Shut up Luhan!" Baekhyun pouted and turned away from the two lovey dovey couples and Luhan who is still laughing.

::End of Flashback::

"..Xing... Yi Xing! Zhang Yi Xing!" Baekhyun hollered and slammed his palms on to the table, startling Yi Xing.

"Huh? What?" Yi Xing blinked at them with a confused expression.

"Please, you've to move on. You can't always dwell in the past Yi Xing." Luhan placed his hand on Yi Xing's shoulder. "Haera won't like it, if you're living like this."

Upon hearing Haera's name, sadness filled in his eyes as they slowly become moist. Bitting his lips, yi Xing lowered his head as droplets of tears fell.

"Please don't cry. Don't cry." Baekhyun hushed and pulled Yi Xing into a hug.

 

Two days later, and it was the weekends. Yi Xing's parents have gone back to China to visit their family and friends while Yi Xing stayed at home. Laying on his bed on his back, with a sigh he sat up. He went into the bathroom and took a quick shower. Yi Xing soon came out wearing fresh and simple clothing before tying his hair up a bit.

After walking down stairs to the living room, he halted in his steps and his vision blurred.

::Flashback::

"Oppa! Can you help me with this?" Haera asked waving her homework in the air.

"Sure." Yi Xing smiled and sat down behind Haera as Haera was sitting between his legs. His chest leaning against her back as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "What do you need help with?"

"Hmm this one." Haera pointed to a question that had a red mark beside it.

"Okay. So this is how ..."

Yi Xing patiently explained to Haera the steps in solving the question. It took a while for Haera to completely understand it but Yi Xing was a patient man. Haera cheered when she finished all her homework and leans back into Yi Xing's hold. She giggled when she felt Yi Xing's breath against her neck.

"Oppa ... that tickles." Haera whispered and turned her head around.

Their eyes locked as Yi Xing gazed at her lovingly. A smile crept up his lips as he slowly leans in. Haera shuts her eyes and Yi Xing's lips gently touches Haera's lips.

::End of Flashback::

Yi Xing gasped and wiped away his tears as he tries to control his breathing. He shook his head and slumped down onto the couch.

"Haera.." Yi Xing whispered her name sadly as more tears trickled down his cheeks.

Yi Xing sobbed quietly, even though there wasn't anyone home but him. He adruptly stopped crying when he heard the door bell. Wiping his tears, he went to get the door. He looked at the person in front of him. He wasn't expecting Haera's parent's to visit him.

"Yi Xing dear, do you mind if we come in?" Mr Kim asked softly, noticing that Yi Xing had cried.

Yi Xing nodded and let the two in.

"P-Please make yourself comfortable." Yi Xing said in a soft voice that was almost like a whisper.

Mrs Kim and Mr Kim looked at Yi Xing, knowing that he misses Haera dearly and seeing their son like in pain hurts them deeply.

"Yi Xing honey." Mrs Kim said softly and pulled him into a hug. "It'll be okay. Please don't dwell in the past. Haera wouldn't like it."

Yi Xing couldn't help but to cry. Mrs Kim softly his head.

"Yi Xing." Mr Kim called out softly.

Yi Xing sniffled and pulled back, wiping his tears. "I'm sorry, Mrs Kim."

"Now what did I say about calling me that?" She said softly and chuckled.

"Sorry mother."

Mrs Kim smiled and patted Yi Xing's head but continued to hug Yi Xing from the side, knowing the boy is still in pain.

"Yi Xing. There is something we have to give to you."

Yi Xing hesitantly looked up at his father-in-law and blinked away his tears.

"Yes father?"

Mr Kim smiled softly and went over to sit beside him.

"Here take this." Mr Kim handed him a small box, nicely wrapped.

"What .. is this?"

"Love, I know it's hard for you since Haera ... died on your birthday. She wanted to give this to you that day. Take it." Mrs Kim explained and pulled Yi Xing into a hug again. "We'll be leaving now. We'll always be here for you. You know that." She kissed his temples and stood up.

They both left Yi Xing and closed the door softly. Yi Xing stared at the box and slowly unwrapped her box. He gasped when he saw the present. There were two couple bracelets. Inside a small note was placed. Yi Xing took the note and opened it. More tears formed as he read the letter.

To my beloved Yi Xing oppa.

Happy Birthday. You're finally 19~! Hehe oppa is getting old.

I didn't know what you like ... so I got couple bracelets! Aren't they cute?

The locket is for you and the key is for me. Hehe because I'm the key to your heart.

Yi Xing oppa ... I love you.

Haera <3

"Haera ..." Yi Xing sobbed as he curled up against the couch.

Slipping on both of the bracelets, he traced the bracelets, his vision blurring once again.

"Haera ... I love you, but it hurts to know that you're no longer beside me ..."He whispered as a single tear trickled down his cheeks as he stares blankly ahead.

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vanishingdreams
#1
Chapter 1: TT TT DONT CRY LAY TT TT
TT.TT TT.TT
kissme4life_99
#2
Chapter 1: GAAAH, ITS SO SADDD D: omg, i actually cried D': you write really good though!~ LAYYYY, LEMME GIVE YOU A HUGGG <3
Tababy-Dragon
#3
Chapter 1: OMO T^T That is so sad... It is a beautiful story :'( :'( (Leticia stop crying your sisters are around)