Luhan was in a very bad mood when he arrived at the hospital. Sehun had let them go out of milk for the third time in a row that month, and Luhan functioned at half of full capacity when deprived of his morning coffee (with lots of milk). Thus, Luhan had snapped waspishly at him before stomping out, the dismal grey weather not helping at all. Worse still, he had caught a glimpse of Sehun's wide-eyed expression of hurt when he left after practically yelling at the younger, and guilt had mixed itself gloatingly into his emotions.

He had just slammed his briefcase onto his desk when Kyungsoo barreled into his office. 

"Oh, Luhan-ssi thank god you're here Joonmyun-ssi just called in sick so could you please take over for his patients this morning he only has two and they don't conflict with your appointments please I called Baekhyun-ssi but he can only come in in the afternoon--"

Luhan shut his eyes and held up a hand to stop the nurse's nervous rambling. "It's fine. I only have one appointment in the morning anyway."

Kyungsoo breathed a sigh of relief, before noting Luhan's exhausted and half-awake state and adding tentatively. "I could step out for a moment to grab you a coffee, if you'd like?"

Luhan pulled a weak grimace. "Thanks Kyungsoo."

The other man hummed softly as he walked out of the ward.

 

 

Luhan pulled off his jacket and draped it over the back of his chair before tugging on his white lab coat and draping a stethoscope around his neck. He raked a hand through his hair and walked out into the open reception area, since Kyungsoo wasn't manning his station.

To his surprise, he found a tall male waiting at the desk, brows furrowed. Luhan quickly walked behind the desk and greeted the stranger, explaining and apologizing for their current lack of a receptionist.

"Oh, it's fine. My name is Wu Fan, I'm here for an appointment with Dr. Kim?"

"Actually, Dr. Kim is not here today, he's ill. I'll be taking his appointments," Luhan answered, running his index finger down the day's schedules. "And there doesn't seem to be a Wu Fan on the schedule, sir."

"Ah, the appointment would actually be under Zhang Yixing then. He's a patient here."

Luhan glanced at him warily. "Sir, we don't usually allow people-"

"I'm his fiancé, if that helps," Wu Fan interrupted with a weak smile. 

Luhan started. "Oh. Oh." He flipped through Joonmyun's notes and did indeed find a small yellow post-it about Wu Fan in one of the first reports. "I see. My apologies, right this way then."

They walked down the hallway in awkward silence, with Luhan finding an excuse in familiarizing himself with Zhang Yixing's patient information. According to the reports, he had been in a car accident two months ago, and was undergoing some treatment for psychological and brain trauma.

When Luhan pushed the door open, he was greeted by a gleeful shout of "Kris!!" from the bed. Before he could ask, Wu Fan had passed him and sat down beside the bed with a soft smile.

"Morning, Yixing."

Deciding to forgo the question in favour of greeting the male grinning brightly from his position on top of the white hospital linens, Luhan took a step closer.

"Hi there, Yixing-ssi, my name is Dr. Lu, and I'll be doing your tests this morning."

Yixing blinked at him, tilting his head.

"Why? Where's Dr. Kim?"

"He called in sick today."

"Oh..." Yixing trailed off, but then beamed, a dimple forming in his right cheek. "Okay! That's fine. I'm sure Dr. Kim would have left me in capable hands.

"Uh. Thank you," Luhan stuttered, slightly taken aback by the man's enthusiasm. "I'll go set up the equipment - it'll only be a moment."

"Okay!" Yixing replied, before turning and starting to chat animatedly with Wu Fan. "Kriiiissss, did you bring me anything today?"

 

 

When Luhan returned after setting up the machinery - thankfully, there was only a standard MRI scan scheduled for today, not one of the more personalized treatments that would have bamboozled Luhan - it was to find his patient pouting with his arms crossed and Wu Fan smiling in a fond and exasperated way.

"Is there a problem...?"

"No-"

"Yes! Kris won't let me have breakfast!"

Luhan's eyebrows rose in confusion.

"Xing, you can have it after the tests, okay?"

Yixing grumbled, but slid obligingly out of bed anyway. 

When Wu Fan reached Luhan as well, he whispered lowly to the taller male "You know that he can have food before this scan, right? It's just a brain scan, and there's nothing about sedatives-"

"Yeah, but there are other reasons."

"Like what?"

Wu Fan's mouth twisted into a grimace, and Luhan hurried to apologize. "Sorry  I don't mean to intrude-"

"No, it's fine. It's what he's being treated for, after all, and you'll see, anyway."

Yixing was very cooperative during the scan, and Luhan was rather confused about why he was here in the first place. So far, Zhang Yixing seemed to be a very healthy, happy individual.

"The scans will take about fifty minutes to develop, but you're staying here anyway, right?" he asked Wu Fan as they headed back to Yixing's room.

"Yeah. Uh, also, doctor, you...that nurse - Kyungsoo, is he back yet?"

"I think so...why?"

Kris blinked spastically. "You might want to put him on standby. Well, he should know, I guess."

Luhan was bewildered, but nodded nonetheless, and went to inform the nurse in question.

 

 

Kyungsoo's usually cheerful aura noticeably diminished when Luhan relayed the message. His shoulders sagged as he nodded morosely.

"Okay, why do you look like someone just died?"

Kyungsoo only shook his head and motioned for Luhan to follow. They waited outside Yixing's room, the door open just enough for the voices inside to reach them.

"-delicious, you need to take me there after I leave. What's dessert?"

"Dessert after breakfast-?" Luhan began, but Kyungsoo shushed him.

"It's something I made, actually. I thought- I thought you might like it." Wu Fan's voice broke off, and Luhan could have sworn he heard a tremor in his words.

"Oh! It looks great! Kris, you didn't tell me you could cook!"

"Wait- isn't he his fiancé? How-"

Kyungsoo glared at him, and Luhan fell silent once more.

It was quiet for a moment while Yixing presumably ate the unknown food item. Somehow, even though Luhan had no idea what was going on, the atmosphere became suddenly tense and suffocating. Kyungsoo was stiff as a board beside him, and in the silence of the ward, the crinkling of plastic inside the room was almost too loud before it was broken by a soft mumble.

"......this....this tastes like.....but..."

"Yixing...?"

".....this, this, this---this is Wu Fan's cooking. I'd know it anywhere- How- how did you get it- where is he?!?!"

Yixing's voice increased to a shrill shriek, and Kyungsoo dashed into the room without another word, Luhan on his heels.

Wu Fan's eyes were clenched tightly shut as he held his arms around the smaller man, trying to restrain him as he thrashed about, sobbing.

"No! This isn't possible! Wu Fan- Wu Fan's dead! He's dead because of me- he's dead he's dead he's dead--- no no no no- LET GO OF ME! WHO ARE YOU?!?"

Luhan's eyes were wide as he stood by the wall, jaw slack as he watched Kyungsoo plunge a needle into Yixing's pale shoulder. His eyelids drooped, his yells quietened, and Wu Fan lowered him back onto the bed when he became limp.

"I'm sorry," Kyungsoo said to the man in the chair, face twisted in pain.

Wu Fan sighed, and his form seemed to crumple in on itself, his back slumping as he leaned forwards and rested his elbows on his knees.

"I just. Keep hoping, you know?" he whispered softly, more to himself than to Kyungsoo. "That maybe today..."

Kyungsoo nodded, then backed quietly out of the room. Luhan followed when it was obvious that Wu Fan didn't seem to realize he had ever been in the room at all.

 

 

He waited until they were out of earshot to turn to Kyungsoo, but the nurse cut him off.

"They were both in an accident a few months ago. Wu Fan had protected Yixing from most of the bodily harm, but Yixing got a severe concussion."

"We think it might have been the emotional trauma of it all, since Yixing was still conscious when the paramedics showed up. Wu Fan had been roughed up pretty badly - and I mean badly - and Yixing had been holding him and crying, covered in blood."

"So what exactly-?"

"Basically, Yixing thinks that Wu Fan is dead, despite the fact that he visits him practically every day. For some reason, the person he sees and the person he remembers just can't seem to reconcile. Any sort of trigger that might remind him of Wu Fan though, apart from his appearance, can set him off quite badly, as you saw."

"He doesn't remember any of that?"

"The episodes? No."

"And Wu Fan just..."

"He visits. Every day."

"Why?" 

The question escaped before he could stop himself. Kyungsoo looked at him, gaze sad.

"Because he loves him. And if he can't love him as Wu Fan, then he'll love him as Kris."

Luhan was silent, trying to comprehend the amount of suffering Wu Fan must have gone through. 

"Is there...any hope?" he asked quietly after a moment.

"Maybe, if we ever figure out what exactly is wrong. But it's been two months, and we're no closer to a concrete diagnosis," Kyungsoo said heavily before returning to his desk and greeting another patient.

Luhan strode back into his office and shut his door. He sat down behind his desk and tried to focus on the stack of paperwork Kyungsoo had dropped off, but for the rest of the day, his thoughts kept drifting back to the broken dimpled man down the hall.

 

 

When Luhan reached the front doors of the hospital that evening, he noted with a groan that it was positively pouring outside. He groaned again when he realized that he had forgotten his umbrella at home.

He pulled up his hood, prayed futilely that the bullets falling from the sky wouldn't seep through before he got to the nearest bus shelter, and pushed through the revolving glass doors.

He was about to break into a run when a call of his name halted his steps. He turned, and felt his heart stop, the swell of emotions inside him coalescing into a tidal wave that finally broke.

Sehun was standing beside the entrance, the large black umbrella clutched in one hand not really doing the best job of keeping him dry in the strong wind.

"You forgot your umbrella," he said, holding out Luhan's pink one towards him.

Luhan unfroze, and tackled the younger man in a fierce hug. Sehun swayed slightly before wrapping an arm awkwardly around him, the other trying to keep the umbrella upright.

"Hyung, I'm sor--"

"Shut up."

Sehun stared at the man hiding his face in his shoulder in confusion and worry. "Hyung...?"

"I'm sorry, Sehun. I'm sorry," Luhan sobbed into the musty leather of the other man's jacket. When he pulled away, he fought hard to keep his lips from trembling.

"Sehunnie, y-you know that I love you, right? Even though I get pissy a lot, I love you, don't ever forget that, okay?"

"Uh, yeah hyung. I know. I love you too."

Luhan couldn't help the fresh stream of tears that poured down his face, and Sehun panicked. "Wait, hyung, what--? Did I say something wrong--?"

Luhan shook his head, and buried his face into Sehun's jacket again, smiling through his tears. "I love you. I'll always love you."