I erase the memories, I erase them with tears
I cannot keep you inside me.
I push away the memories, I push away the pain
So they can’t stay inside me.

I throw away the memories, I throw them away with tears
So I won’t have any hope,
So my longing heart won’t even know

                   That night, after i have sent you back to your dorm, I tried to erase our memories. The first time we met, how you told me to remember to buckle my seat belt, how you awkwardly interrogated me with questions your unnies had, what you've written about me, but most importantly, when me and my bandmates tried to trick you that Jungshin was your 'husband' and asked who you'd rather have for your husband, you chose me.

                I tried to throw the memory away of how we decided to do missions on various music programs by showing of our 2000 won rings. The time when we did Run Devil Run + Love Light for the korean wave concert, the memories of what happened after the concert, i stayed up the night before to make a guide book of Japan to sincerely apologize to you for not answering your phone calls and not replying your text messages. When i gave it to you, i was afraid that you would not forgive me, so i pretended to be embarrassed and looked away from your eyes. But when you saw it, you giggled at how cute it was and forgave me instantly. Afterwards you have me the room scent and little trinkets from Phuket. I couldn't bear to use anymore of the scent, because i know once it runs out i can never ask you to buy me anything of this sort anymore, so i treasure it dearly.

               But all of this i have to throw away for it is too painful, for i know that i can never create more of these memories with you.

Even though I painfully push you away (I wait for you)
I don’t think I can stop missing you (I don’t think it can be helped)
I don’t think I can let you go

               Not matter how hard i try to burry these memories, i can't. They resurface every time i push them to the back of my mind. No matter how hard i try to forget you, i still find myself yearning for your presence, missing your every quirk, you every word. It's to painful to me, trying to forget you completely. I can only pray, pray that you'll one day reappear in front of me, pray that i could create more of these memories with you, pray that you'll one day be mine.

I throw you away again and again but you grow inside my heart,
you become tear drops that won’t dry out
and grow even though I erase you again and again.
You become a wound that doesn’t even hurt.
No matter how hard I try, I can no longer hold onto my love
that becomes more and more blurry each day

              Every night from then on, i would find tear drops rolling down my face. Every night i would pray for the same things and the memories of you would overwhelm me and my aching heart. I can no longer contain my love and it will spill out in the form of tears that bleed out from my eyes as my heart long for you. I became no longer aware of where i am or what i'm doing, it's like my body is running on automatic.

I swallow the tears that dig inside my heart,
so my longing won’t lift up its heard,
so my exhausted heart won’t know

              Living this way doesn't hurt as much as trying to not think of you. I would just contain my tears until i would be in my room alone and let it spill out. My heart is already exhausted from missing you and aching for you.

Your nervous eyes (always trap me)
This hope that you might come back (keeps bruising me)
But you can’t come back anymore

            When i saw the broadcast of the last episode, i saw you crying because our run on WGM was over, it gave me hope. Hope that you also felt the same. But when i saw you on a variety broadcast, your eyes still sparkled with happiness. It hurt me more than when i knew that there was no way you would feel the same. Thats when i knew that i had to forget all the memories, the Lies we created for the broadcast.

A/N:

Hello, thank you for reading this kinda fail!angst fic, i hope you enjoyed it. Should I make a Sequal to this, of yonghwa and seohyun getting together? Comments are loved^^