Seungri had called me and as always I dropped everything else and ran to him. He wanted to meet up at a club and I went to the VIP section. The rest of the members were there and I gave Daesung an annoyed glare. I sat next to Seungri and he put his arm around me kissing me in front of everyone. A girl sitting on the other side of Seungri didn’t seem to get the signal.

- Wait here, I’ll get you something to drink.

Seungri left and I got my chance.

- Yah, who do you think you are? Do you think he’d be interested in you?

The girl looked at me and couldn’t say anything.

- Please, he wouldn’t even you. You should get the out of here so everyone doesn’t have to see your ugly face.

She got tears in her eyes and quickly left.

- Wow…

Daesung chuckled and leaned back.

- Well so you did it. You got rid of his girlfriend.

I let out a proud smirk. He leaned in closer to me and was only inches away.

- You know, you look cute and nice. Just shows you can’t judge someone by appearance.

I rolled my eyes and before I could answer Seungri came back.

- Here you go.

Once again I ignored Daesung and turned my attention to Seungri. Every time I caught him stealing glances at other girls my blood boiled. But for some reason I wasn’t angry at him, the girls that were way too ty annoyed me. After a while I couldn’t stand it anymore. I leaned in against his ear.

- Can’t we go home and do something more fun.

- You can go home, I want to spend some time with my members.

- I think they’ll be fine without you. I nodded against the group of girls who tried to get the oppas attention.

- Not tonight okay, he said firmly and downed a drink.

- Fine.

I was embarrassed and annoyed, and because I’ve been drinking I had a hard time covering it up.

- Are you mad?

- No.

- Why are you mad? His voice was annoyed.

- I’m not mad!

- If you’re gonna sit here and be pissed then you might as well go home.

- Whatever.

I grabbed my purse and got out. I found myself crying as I made my way home. All I wanted to do was run back and beg for forgiveness for getting annoyed.

--

It’s been a few days since the incident and Seungri haven’t called or texted me back ever since.

- Whatever, I’m fine without, I mumbled to myself in hope of actually believing it. I texted all of my friends but none of them responded. To be honest I wasn’t surprised since I’ve ignored all of them to spend time with Seungri. I tried calling him once again but as always there was no answer. I was going crazy and decided to try to see him somehow. I couldn’t go to his apartment since they wouldn’t let me in without him telling them ahead so my best chance was at YG. I felt so dumb when I stood outside and of course there was no way of coming in. I stood there debating on what to do. I could sit here and wait until he came out or I could just go home. I knew I had to see him and there was really no point in going home since all I would worry about was him. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder. , probably security. I turned around and was shocked to see it was Daesung.

- What do you want? I glared at him and just his presence made me annoyed.

- Again with the attitude. Have I ever treated you wrong?

- You’re right, I’m sorry.

He smiled and I felt a bit bad. Although that wasn’t important right now.

- Here to see Seungri?

- Yeah, but it’s pointless since I can’t get in and he’s not answering his phone.

- Come.

I walked after him being surprised he was helping me. It felt awkward standing in the empty elevator with him.

- Thank you…

- Ah, it’s okay.

- Do you know where he is?

- Yeah. I’ll show you.

The elevator stopped and we got up. I was surprised how polite he was. Greeting everyone he saw and he didn’t have this overly confident aura like Seungri had.

- He’s probably in the room over there. I’ll be in the practice room so if you don’t find him you can come to me and I’ll help you look.

I just bowed and made my way towards the room. I heard his voice and waited outside afraid to disturb him to make him any angrier.

- I’m so sorry, you have to forgive me.

- Seungri…

- She doesn’t mean anything. I only love you. Please, don’t leave me, I need you.

- If you cheated on me once how will I ever know that you won’t do it again.

I stood pressed against the wall not being able to believe anything that I heard.

- I never loved her. The only one I’ve ever been in love with is you.

The same line he told me, the line that made me believe that he really loved me. And that he was only to kindhearted for his own good. I was numb and couldn’t move.

- I promise you, I was so drunk and I didn’t know what I did. I swear I’ll never drink again if you take me back. I’ll be better, I promise.

- Seungri, what’s the point? I don’t want to continue on. I know she’s not the only one. Do you think I’m dumb? Just leave me alone okay.

She got surprised when she saw me but just quickly nodded and slammed the door before walking away. She probably didn’t even recognize me since it was quite dark. He tried to get back with his girlfriend and he used the same old lines he did for me. For some reason I couldn’t confront him and I just listened as he sat down in the couch. After a few seconds I felt how my phone vibrated.

- Hello?

- Hey babe, I miss you. Sorry for not being calling for these last few day…

I couldn’t say anything. Was this really happening?

- Look, I know I was immature yelling at you for something like that. I was afraid to call you because I thought you still were mad and would leave me. Let’s meet up and make up for lost time.

- I’m a bit busy, can I call you later.

- Really? He sounded surprised since that’s an answer he never received from me.  

- Yeah, I got to go.

I hanged up and with eyes cloudy from tears I tried to make my way back to the elevator.

- Omo!

I looked up and saw that I walked into Daesung.

- What happened?

I bursted out in tears and he pulled me into the practice room he just walked out of. Once we got in he held me tight as I cried my whole heart out.

- What happened?

- You were right all along. I was nothing, I was just one of those girls.

- I’m sorry…

- Don’t be sorry, why are you sorry? I gave up everything for him. I missed classes and stood my friends up. What am I going to do now? Continue to see him since I don’t have anyone else? What do I do? I sobbed feeling completely helpless.

- You’ll be fine, your friends will forgive you if you show them you’re not like that anymore. You deserve better.

I dried my tears and he released me from his embrace.

- I’m sorry for being like this. I won’t bother you anymore.

I was stopped as I was about to walk out.

- The Alice I’ve meet before wasn’t like the Alice you showed me. She was kindhearted and cared for everyone. I’d like to see that Alice again.

- You’ve never meet me before all of this happened.

He laughed and let go of my arm.

- I have, you just haven’t meet me.

I shook my head and walked back home.

“I heard you talking to her. I heard how you said that you didn’t love me and that I was a mistake. But it’s fine, since I don’t need you. Don’t call me again and don’t answer this text. Just get out of my life, I’ve lost enough because of you.”

He didn’t answer that text. He didn’t call the day after, or the day after that. Or even 6months later. I never saw any of the Big Bang’s members after that. After 6months I stopped crying at night and my best friend was back by my side. I walked into class and noticed in the back of the classroom someone waved to me. That guy was so weird, he always sat in the back of the classroom, always wearing something over his mouth and a hoodie. He never spoke to anyone or answered any questions. He rarely attended. I waved back and sat down next to my friend.

- Do you know each other?

- No, I’ve never talked to him before.

- Hm, weird…

I quickly forgot about it and as soon as class ended I decided to visit go to the mall. I forgot about the fact that I had to pass Seungri’s apartment when I did. As I saw his apartment buildings painful memories boiled up.

- Alice?

Am I imagining his voice? I turned around and there he was.

- It’s you! How have you been?

- I’ve been good.

- That’s great. I should thank you.

- Why?

- You made me realize how stupid I’ve been and I’ve totally changed. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, maybe we could start over.

I smiled and my heart ached at the same time as I was amused.

- I should thank you.

- Why?

- Because of you I now know what to avoid. Stop playing with me Seungri. You haven’t changed. Thanks to you I now know I deserve something better. Which basically is everything except you.

I walked away feeling proud of myself. I was so scared this day would come and that I’d fall right back.