Why did I end up losing her?

Why did I let her slip away like that?

Why didn't just uphold my promises?

Why did I end up hurting her?

I couldn't help but recall all the memories that I had with _____.

-FlashBack- (3 years ago)

I awaited for her in her house, where her roommate allowed me in. I was so nervous about our first date, I had to talk it out with someone.

"Hi! I'm Doojoon!" I extended my hand out. She looked at me and avoided my hand. "Hah, and your the guy that my bestfriend fell for?" she looked at me with disgust. I scoffed.

"Nice to meet you too," I sarcastically looked up and down at her. She smiled, "Hi, I'm Sunny." She walked off into her room. She's so weird.

I sat on the couch and looked about the walls of emptiness. I can't believe I managed to ask out the prettiest girl at school. We may be adults, but I know I can't screw this one up.

"Doojoon? You're here early," I looked over to her voice. My eyes widened at her appearance. I stood up immediately, "_____~ You...you...look so..." I didn't know what to say. She smiled angeletically. But I think she knew what I meant. "Thank you," she whispered.

She was about to speak, but I didn't let the words come out, I immediately kissed her. And we stood there, she allowed me to kiss her as long as I wanted, for I believed I have fallen for her, out of love. "I promise to be with you forever," I whispered in her ears, as she wrapped her little hands around my body.

-End Of FlashBack-

Why did I have to fall for two people?

Why did I have to meet Sunny?

Why did I have to be so stupid to the point where I get in a fight with _______?

Why did I lie to her?

Wasn't ______ good enough for me?

-FlashBack- ( 3 years ago, 1 month into the relationship)

"Oppa, do you want to hang out after exams?" _______ spoke to me. I looked around nervously.

"I don't...think so... I have to tutor your friend again," I avoided her eye contact. She frowned and looked away, "Again? I don't want to seem like the jealous type, but aren't you spending more time with her, rather than me?"

I looked down in shame, "But isn't it important to you that she graduates with us, next spring?" She tried to understand, but she couldn't stand it.

"Why do you always act this way?" I nagged at her. "Because I think it's more important for you to be with me, rather than help her graduate," ______ bit her lip down. I rolled my eyes, "You can't trust me can you? I promise I'll have dinner with you by tonight. Okay?"

_______ sadly smiled, "Okay, you promise to go to that new restaurant with me?" I nodded, "I promise. I love you," I kissed her goodbye.

"I'm out," I left the place. I knew that I would hurt her even more, if I didn't tell her about me and Sunny.

I ran to Sunny's and _______'s room. Sunny opened the door, "Oppa! You're here! Is ______ gone?" I nodded. She smiled and interwined my hands with her's. "Let's go to that nice restaurant we were talking about!" I smiled and walked with her, with all the guilt inside me becoming a bowling ball.

-End Of FlashBack-

Why did I have to tell you lies?

Why did I have to meet ______ first?

Why did I fall for two girls that are both so unique to me?

Why did I always tell unless promises to ______ when I knew I couldn't keep them?

Why did I love you, ______, so much, that I can't even let you go?

-FlashBack- (2 years ago)

I told ______ to wait in the park for me. I knew it was one our year anniversary together, but I can't bare to keep this nasty guilt inside me.

I love ______ oh so much, she's like a delicate flower that I'm afraid may die off. I don't want her to break up with me. She's so rare that I can't let her go. But I can't let Sunny go either. I didn't even have to make promises to be with Sunny.

I was at the bar, drinking my heart out. I can't take this anymore. I decide to clear my mind with a drink.

"Oppa~" Sunny stood there before me. I looked up at her drunkily. I stupidly smiled, "Oh~ SUNNY! *hiccup* Are you here to...to..*hiccup* join me?"

"Oppa! What are you doing here? Aren't you meeting _____ tonight?" she stared down at me. I chuckled, "I don't deserve her, I lie to her, I make stupid promises, and I don't treasure like a real boyfriend would..."

"Then go tell her!" My eyes widened up at her. "But but then she would...and I would...and you would..." I said in a babble. She shook her head, "I want what is best for you and _____ I won't interfere anymore..."

I stood up and hugged her immediately. "I won't let anything happen to us, I promise it won't." I kissed her and ran off to where _____ was.

Then I told her everything in a stupid manner. I ran towards her, falling down, but being caught by her. "I...*hiccup*have something to...*hiccup*tell you..." I spoke, drunkenly. I wanted her to ask me, but she remained silent.

"I've...*hiccup*been with...*hiccup* with Sunny...*hiccup*since our first 3 months into our relationship..." I confessed to her, feeling all the guilt rolling away, but fear came into it's place. I looked up into her eyes, for forgiveness, but she looked numbly quiet.

She released her grip off me and stood up. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into a tight embrace, telling her meaningless lies again. I hated to lie to her, but I wanted her with me with all my heart.

"I promise you, there's nothing between me and Sunny. There's only love in our relationship. I swear. I promise you she's nothing to me, just a girl."

But she ended up pushing me away gently stood up. I could see tears rolling down her cheek. As she left the park, I became frustrated yelling and cursing to myself, "WHY AM I SO STUPID!!! WHY CAN'T I DECIDE? I NEED YOU ______ !!!!PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!!!" but I don't think she heard me.

-End of FlashBack-

Remembering the time where she almost broke up with me, was like sending daggers straight for my heart and eyes. I don't understand why I can't do anything right.

Although I do remember making up with her.

-FlashBack-

After sitting in the Park, for the whole night, by myself, I made the decision to break it off with Sunny, who's been best friends with _______ since they were kids. I can't let this happen. I can't lose _______ and I definitely can't ruin their friendship either

I ran to her house, sobered up a bit. Who cares if I look like , I just want _______ back to me. To love her wholely again.

She answered the door, looking just as bad as I did. I felt so guilty. What have I done to her again?

"______ mianhe. Please don't leave me. I promise you I will never hurt you ever again. I promise you I'll leave Sunny and forget her, if you want me to, ok?" I begged, dropping to my knees.

She stood there quietly, she was shaking terribly.

"You'll break up with Sunny?" I heard her whispered, quietly.

"Yes! Yes, of course I will," I looked up, happily, getting up to hug her. How much I'm so happy she still loves me.

"I promise to love you with all my heart. How about this you could come to my house? You could even move in there! We could get married too!" I smiled down at her. She snuggled into my chest, but truth be told, who knew I was going to commit another sinful act.

-End of FlashBack-

Why didn't I uphold my promises?

Why didn't I just pretend that Sunny and I were just friends?

Why didn't I just learn from my mistakes?

Why didn't I just forget Sunny?

Why didn't I just be honest with _______?

Why didn't I just let _______ break up with me so she wouldn't be in much pain? and I could live on?

But everything has an ending right?

-FlashBack- (3 days ago)

"Sunny~ You know today isn't the day where we could go on dates like this! I thought we planned it to be Monday?" I whined to her. Sunny giggled.

"Oppa! You know you love these kinds of restaurants! So why not take you out today?" I smiled.

"Why do you always act so cute?" I pinched her nose. "Oppa!" she pouted. I laughed. "Did you know that you were the only woman in my heart?" I kissed her nose.

"Well~ you still have ______~ But if you break up with her, then I could be with you forever~" she sipped her drink. There she goes again.

"I know, but you know I lo-----" "Yeah yeah yeah~ I wanted you to be with me! Neh! Wanna go to my place tonight?" I smiled at her and played with her fingers.

But before I could answer, I heard shoes stomping their way towards our direction. I looked at Sunny who looked so scared. So I turned around and my eyes widened to see _______. I became scared. I didn't know what to do.

"What the hell is this? HUH? Why're you with this...?" she asked accusingly, pointing at Sunny, without letting him speak up. "Why are you still with her? You promised me you'll never keep any secrets from me, ever again! You promised me you'll never lie to me! Oh! Wait...that's right, you can't keep promises, can you? Hahaha," she laughed, sarcastically. I looked down in shame.

"You promised me you'll never hurt me! But NO~! You keep on hurting me inside when you keep doing this to me. And yet I was stupid enough to believe you. You keep feeding me lies and empty promises.  Is that what you do to this girl, too? Make promises? Lies? It's over YOON DOO JOON!!! It's completely over!!!" she yelled, all in one breath of anger. I flinched.

I just sat there, with tears beginning to fill my eyes. I can't believe what I just did to her. I can't believe what just happened. I lost the best girl in the whole world and I blew it. She stormed off and went back to her destination.

-End Of Flashback-

In the end, I lost both girls:

_______: whom I loved with little heart for her.

and Sunny: who just wanted to be away from her boyfriend.

Why did I have to lose both girls?

Why was I so stupid?

But I knew it was for the best. I knew better that I would never find a girl like her....ever again. I wish you full of happiness _______ if you ever found another person to love. And I hope he doesn't make the same mistake as I did.

Why Did I? Why Did I End Up Losing you? Why Did I End Up Falling For You?