Until Now
Dear diary
Hey, Diary
It hurts.
My heart hurts.
It's painfull.
There's something I want to tell you. It's a secret. It's about my story from childhood. I introduce you to Myongsoo. I first saw him when he came to school as a transfer student.
"Annyeong-haseo. Myungsoo-imnida" he said that in front of class one day. Hahaha very funny. Then, the teacher asked him to sit beside me because the chair next to me is empty. Of course I rejected him at first. But knowing that there's no other chair, I let him to sit. I'm generous am I?
I ignored him for whole week. I don't like him. I don't care about him at all. And he seems don't try to talk to me too. It's like two stranger in same table.
At first he like arrogant, coolest but cold-heart. My classmate fall in llove with him.
I againts it of course.
What's the good point that he have?
Besides handsome face, what else that he have?
So far I haven't found any good point from him.
And then all changed when I realised that he's nice to me. When I had trouble with Math, he tutored me patiently until I can. He also went home together with me. I thought his home was near with mine but lately I knew that his home is opposite way from mine.
Diary,
One day on summer, he left a message on my desk. 'meet me at the park'. So I went to the park and saw him sitting on the bench. I sat beside him and asked,
"Why did you call me?"
"I want to talk to you" he said
"About what?"
"Well.." He waited
"What?"
"I like you" he stared at me
"That's it?" I asked him.
Really, I don't understand what he told me. It's rather confusing to me. I like him too, as a friend. He was always good to me. There's no way I hate him. At first yes, but after seeing him being nice every time, I started to like him as a friend
"Yes" he replied
"Well you know, I like you too as a friend. You were always helping me with Math and else." I told him
"Just as a friend?" He asked me back. He looks at me painfully.
I'm freezing. Don't know how to answer him.
"But," he stared at me deeply, "I really like you. As a girl"
He hold my hands.
"I really really like you, Yoon Eun Hye"
And then he kissed me.
After that, he become my boyfriend. I like him too. And the best part is I feel everyday with him was like a dream. I want to stop the time and be with him forever and ever. Just the two of us. It's my biggest dream.
Until I knew his secret.
He's sick..
Yeah, cancer last stadium......
.
.
.
.
.
.
And he never told me.
And I never knew that he's sick
I feel hopeless.
Very hopeless.…
Because he never show me any indication of his sickness.
He always with me everyday, doing so many things and we even fighting. And he always looks okay.
He's so tough..
Why I must be the last person to know about it?
If I had new earlier, I can spend more time being with him and make him happy.
When I see him in the hospital, I cried.
I'm so hopeless.. If I can exchange my life with his life, I will.
But, there's a thing that we, human can't stopped.
Only God who can do it.
He's gone...
On Wednesday morning, he's gone
Forever and ever
I don't cry on that day or the day after or the day after that day. He don't like seeing me crying.
'you like the baby when crying, you know? So please stop crying' he always says that
That's why I don't crying..
It's been two years that he had gone. But, I still miss him so much. I love him. I still remember him clearly on my mind. I think I could never forget him.
'I love you. More than anyone, more than I love myself' he says before he gone.
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