Chapter 12

"Ahhh what a nice day today" you said outloud as you where walking home, you went to buy that gift for your parent's anniversay and remember that it was also joon's birthday so you went to get him something also, like i will ever see him again..ahh..i hope he's alright..i missed him..you thought. And then you remember the email he sent you that morning, you hurried home, since you didn't read it that morning "ahh, if only my boss didn't passed by I would have read the whole thing" you said while pouting. You reached home, you greet your parent's that was playing with your kid, you smile, it was a nice scenery seeing your parent's happy and that make's you happy too. You go to your room, get dressed and you open the computer to read the email that joon sent you...as you open it you felt your hand start shaking, your heart start trembling, afraid on what he wrote on that email, afraid that he hated you, afraid that you might lose him forever...you go on and read his email....

To :Jagiya,

I don't know why I'm writing this but....there are some things that i wanna clear from you...What am I really to you, jagiya? i'm not a fool that you can tossed around after you had enough of me...ahhh, I'm trembling as I make this..to be honest i don't know why did you do it?...why does have to be him?....why can't you be honest with me, jagiya?...what did I do to ever deserved this??... did you know that he came to meet me here in japan? he explain it to me that he was the one who have sinned and not you...ahh,I wanna blame you but i think he was right....you are just a victim like me here....my heart hurts so bad, jagiya when you told me that day....that you are pregnant...oh, how i wish it was mine and not his...I'm sorry for leaving you on the time's that you needed me, I'm also sorry for neglecting you, avoiding your calls and your email, I need time to think, time to find myself without you. Now that my heart heals from the pain, i come to realized that.............I LOVE YOU and MISSED YOU!! jagiya....i can't seem to get you out of my mind, everyday i was hoping to get a glimpse of you, your smile, your scent... it all lingers in me, it's making me crazy.....i hope i can meet you one more time, jagiya, i will be back in korea the day before my birthday, it will be the best birthday if you could meet me...jagiya, ahhh..why am i like this when im not with you?...you cast a powerful spell on me since the day we met jagiya....do you remember that? i hope you can forgive me for being babo sometimes...ahh..can't seem to get mad at you either..the time that you cried my heart hurts...i don't like seeing you crying jagiya...I hope that i won't be able to see you cry anymore...I love you...

sincerly,

Joon

You felt your eye getting teared up as you were reading every bit of words that joon wrote on his email. You sobbed crying on all the things that he mentioned, you blame yourself for lying to him, on top of that he's not mad at you, he missed you more than ever. You don't know what to do, you don't deserved me joon, i don't deserved you..you thought, you closed your eyes once you felt them getting heavy. The night came, you didn't realized that you had fallen asleep while crying, your mom knocks on your door to see if you are okay "honey, are you okay, it's dinner time" your mom say behind your door, you could hear your son crying behind it too, you got up, wiped off the traces of any tear that fall on your face, you look at the mirror..What had happened between me and joon? where did our love go? you thought...you fix your messy hair and put a little powder in your face, you take the gift that you bought for your parent's anniversay before you head out of your room. You place yourself in the dinner table, admiring your parent's devotion at each other, they are sitting across you, your mom notice that you had been staring at them for quite a while "honey, is everything ok? are you sick?" your mom asked out of worries, you smiled at her "no, mom..im ok..i just love to see you and dad happy..i wish i can be happy just like you two..ah,by the way,here mom, a present for you two", as you give them the present,your mom saw the sudden change on your expression that you had ,sad, lonely and heartbroken. "don't worry dear, you will find someone who can loved you as much just like your dad, besides you have your son to fullfill some of that love, am I right?" your mom explain to you, you agreed to what your mom say's...you are having a nice dinner with your parent's when suddenly your cell phone buzz, a message from kikwang, you tried to ignore it since you don't have any business to deal with him anymore. But curiosity wins you over, you open the message and it's an invitation for joon's birthday. You don't know why but you got excited just by thingking of him, your heart flutter's on a chance to see him once again for a very long time since he left.

You suddenly thought..why is he sending me an invitation for joon's birthday? aren't they mad at each other? i'm sure nicole was going to be there since kikwang was there too...ahhh, my head hurts...your mom notice your being quiet "honey, is everything alright? you look a bit worried" your mom asked you despite of her curiosity. You strattled and realized that you are infront of a very important dinner, your parent's anniversay, you immediately come back to your sense "ah, no mom, i'm alright..it's just...it's just that..." you could'nt continue what you wanted to tell your mother but for some reason she understood what you meant "it's ok honey, if you wanna go..go..me and your dad will just play with little chansung" as she smiled to your son next to you and continue " ..you know how much me and your dad loved to stay with our grandson, aren't we darling?" your mom turn her attention to your father, your dad almost chocked to his food as he wasn't paying attention to the conversation that you and your mom are having. "ack..ah, yes dear" your dad said as he suddenly turn to your mom, you laugh at them, you seen them like this a few time's when you where still living in america but time's has change, your parent's are almost close to their retirement and decided to stay in korea for good, you are happy with that decision being close to them.

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ahhh....everyone..sorry for making this short..I was tryng to update it for lee joon's birthday..well, it passed already in korea but it still is in america..so to our babo lee chansung..saengil chukahamnida <3 be strong and A+ loved you so so much...ahhh i hope he had a nice birthday..ahh 3 more chapter till its over..T.T is anyone sad??? till next time..enjoy reading and thank you for stopping by..remember to add me, subcribed or leaved a comment on the bottom... ^_^