Even now, I still have it, and it reminds me of lots of things. Things I cannot put into words, but yet I want to try. Because it is as if as long as I cannot let it out, it will eat me up. If we can hide so many things in that box, yet look so beautiful outside, then what does that makes us, other than brilliant magicians? I would not know, and maybe I should not know, but I try to know, because it is yet a side of life.

The words had been lingering in the air for quite some time already, a kind of suffocation that made the poor shiver and the rich frustrated. It made the young tremble and the old lose hope. The heart of the city that was normally filled with cheerful laughter and bright chatter had deafened a long time ago, but today it was as if such carefree scenario had never even existed. As Lu Han stood in front at the end of the main street, eyeing the emptiness with a shivering heart, all he felt was a terror so terrifying he wished it was all a dream. Of course, it never was. Such feeling so real could never have something as intangible as a dream as the cause. It was going to be a beginning of something he might never see the end of it, and that fact alone enhanced his fright hundredfold. Soon, there would be no more laughter. Soon, there would be nothing but the screams of mercy and the bitter feeling of having lost it all.

▓

“They’ve demanded a withdrawal from our forces,” Yixing mumbled as he eyed the map, “they’re beginning to threaten the surrounding area. It’s only a matter of time before they will attack.” He said while pointing to the bridge.

“What can we do?”

Zitao asked anxiously. He was still young, still not matured enough for a battle as grand as this. Yet, life had thrown him into a situation so horrible and he had all the right to be frightened, if only fear would not multiply his chances of dying.

“Our forces aren’t going to withdraw. They wouldn’t even want to negotiate with those Japanese. Japanese troops are located at the Western end of the Luguo Bridge for quite some time already,” Yixing looked up into Zitao’s fearful eyes, “and the Chinese citizens there fear the worst.”

“We should tell Yifan-”

“Yifan has already taken action,” Yixing said sternly, “but he isn’t sure whether it’ll work out well or not.”

“What has he planned?”

Yixing took a deep breath, eyes fluttering closed for a second, “If… If the Japanese troops decide to take over the bridge, then we’ll lose our last connection with Beijing. Yifan is trying to hold onto the last bit of communication possible.”

Japan had been advancing quite tactfully, getting hold of bits of China little by little while taking advantage of the ongoing turmoil and chaos inside of China. The Chinese government has been losing area at the East to Japan, and it seemed Japan is going to take over Beijing any time soon.

“There’s nothing we can do, is there?” Zitao asked, his voice laced with painful hopelessness.

Yixing did not quite know how to respond to that. They were not the Chinese troops that could be seen at daylight. Instead, they were the guerilla hidden in the dark, being the helping hand for China as they did all their activities in secrecy. Thus far they had been able to come to aid for the country quite some time, but with this sudden uproar, he was not so sure either whether they could do anything.

“We won’t surrender, Zitao.”

Surrendering to their enemy would not only crush their pride but be more painful in their eyes than their own death. They would not give away their country and they would protect it until their last breath.  

▓

The room was without fancy decorations, something terribly exceptional for their country always put aesthetics above everything. Right now, though, was an exception to such importance since there were other things that took priority. This country’s environment was not that much different from theirs in some ways, but all the contrast at other aspects. His body felt the change of climate, even more than his brain did. The tall, proud young man stood up from his seat near the window, permitting himself a glance outside which resulted into a kind of grin that would made the Chinese shiver in fear. A close distance away he could see his troops training under the dim moonlight, near the bridge. What the Chinese ever saw in that hideous passage, he would never know, but it bothered him a lot even looking at it.

“They are demanding a withdrawal from the Chinese.”

“Pathetic,” He spoke to himself, “as if they would give up without a fight. They never know when to stop, after all. Always thinking they are strong, when in reality, they’re anything but strong.”

A soft knock on his door took hold of his attention.

“Come in,” He said with a dissatisfying voice, not happy at all with the sudden disturbance so late at night.

The door opened slowly and an overconfident young man the same age as him stepped inside the room. His dark tinted skin made him fit so well in the dark, yet his passionate eyes defeated even the brightest sun in lightness.

“What brings you here so late at night, Officer Kim Jongin?”

He asked the other as he sat down comfortably again, eyes urging for an answer.

“I just wanted to pay you a visit.”

“And I’m always most delighted for your presence,” He responded with a mere smirk.

Kim Jongin frowned, “You see this all as a game, don’t you?”

“Well, don’t you?” He grinned, “We’ve already killed those in the government who disagreed with us, and now everything lies in our hands. So many land lies in front of our eyes. It would be a waste of opportunity to do nothing, Kim Jongin,” A crooked smile appeared on his lips, “and I’m not a man who likes to spoil chances.”

“China can’t even bring peace within their own country, making it all the easier for us. However,” Kim Jongin approached the window next to him carefully, eyeing the outside world with scrutiny, “we should be careful with our passion, dear friend. Our enemies are not only those outside that meets the eye,” Kim Jongin’s expression stiffened harshly, “we’ve got some danger lying within our own country as well.”

This made him frown, “What do you mean by that?”

Jongin glanced at him with a cold sternness, “Which means there’re still people within our own nation who don’t particularly like what we’re doing.”

“We’ve already taken over the government, with the Emperor being nothing but merely our puppet. There’s nothing to fear from those in our own country.”

“I’ve heard that the Chinese have been doing quite some clever things in secrecy, with one of them trying to persuade those with hesitant minds to move to their sides. Anyone could be a betrayer within us, Oh Sehun, even you.”

Sehun frowned angrily, “Are you trying to imply anything, Kim Jongin?”

Kim Jongin grinned, “No such thing, no such thing. I just wanted to make sure that you won’t lose sight of the facts. Just to remind you that for our goal,” Kim Jongin moved his lips dangerously close to Sehun’s ear, “any obstacle has to be eliminated, with no exception.”

“I believe I understand that very well,” Oh Sehun hissed.

“Then let me tell you something,” Jongin whispered in his ear, “there’s a rumor going on that Park Chanyeol might be betraying us.”

At the mention of Park Chanyeol, Oh Sehun’s face visibly stiffened, “W-What? No, he couldn’t-”

“Nobody wants to believe that, of course, but he has quite some reasons to be exactly the betrayer we’ve been looking for. Be honest to yourself, did you never questioned your trust towards him all this time after what happened to your father?”

“It wasn’t him, Kim Jongin, I tell you,” Oh Sehun muttered lowly, “it wasn’t him.”

“If that’s what you say, Oh Sehun, if that’s what you say,” Kim Jongin straightened himself again, “but if he really does turn out to be the one, I’m making sure you’ll be the one end his life.”

Kim Jongin walked towards the door, turning back when his hand held onto the door handle, “He’s been sent to aid us with our next attack. Since he’s your good friend, I’m sure he’ll be in good hands with you. A good night.”

Sehun watched Kim Jongin leave his room with boiling anger. There was no reason to suspect Park Chanyeol for anything, he had told himself that countless times already. There was no reason to question his good friend who held the same beliefs as him regarding everything going on right now. It… It had to be someone else back then… It had to be someone else.

▓

“Lu Han, where have you been?!”

His father was furious, beyond furious, and with all the justified reasons. He had gone outside without telling anyone for hours. He had all the reason to be angry at him; that he knew and understood.

“I’m sorry, father, I… I just had to go somewhere.”

“Somewhere? Somewhere? Lu Han,” His father yelled angrily, “do you have any idea in what kind of situation we’re right now?!”

“Master, I’m certain young master must have had his reasons,” Their head butler spoke.

“Whatever his reason was, it wasn’t a justified one. The Japanese have surrounded us. It’s only a matter of time before they attack us. This is no such time to be roaming around the streets like a ten-year old child who has no clue of the terror outside.” His father glanced at the old butler, “Bring him to his room, now.”

“Yes master,” The butler spoke politely before looking at Lu Han, “young master.”

Lu Han followed him obediently, throwing one last glance at his angry father before walking up the stairs with head hanging low. He had decided to disobey his father’s words at the worst of times. He knew his father was frightened, but he was a man who displayed nothing of such weakness to the outside world. If the Japanese were going to attack Beijing, that would mean the end of peace for them. They all knew that, and they all dreaded for that day.

“Young master, please don’t blame your father’s angry behavior, he didn’t mean it.” The old, gentle-looking man eyed Lu Han warmly, “He’s just… Troubled.”

 “I never blamed him,” Lu Han answered honestly, a small smile lingering on his lips, “father was right. I should’ve never wandered outside against his words.” Concern shifted into Lu Han’s eyes, “How’s mother doing?”

The butler’s face fell considerably, “Compared to yesterday, I would say she is doing slightly better, young master. However, she needs all the rest she can get.”

“I want to see her,” Lu Han said, stopping in his track as he did.

“You can’t, young master, your father forbade anyone to see her right now. Even your sister, who had been crying while yelling that she wanted to see your mother, wasn’t allowed to see her.”

Their mother was terribly sick, to the point with no return. Their father knew that, and he also knew that his father wanted to give her all the rest she could possibly get at times of war. And Lu Han also knew that seeing his mother’s pale, weak face would not grant him a good night sleep either. However, he adored her so much, and not being to see how her condition was pained him more than he wanted it to.

“Alright then,” Lu Han said, not wanting to give the old man any more trouble, “I’ll go visit her when father permits it, then.”

The butler smiled, “A good night, young master.”

Lu Han wished he could say that he would, but he could not.