I miss him … I suddenly missed him.

Hi, my name is Choi Junhong, I go by the name of Zelo. A tall kid for my age, my voice somehow shrinks as I got older weird right?

Oh you might be wondering about the ‘him’ that I’m talking earlier right? Ahh it’s Daehyun hyung … a friend of mine when I was just 6 I guess… anyways he’s someone who taught me different kinds of things, well maybe I can say that he’s one of the reason why I grew. He’s really manly, his brows are a bit thick and his hair was fuzzy but fluffy, did it made any sense?

Even though I was really young back then, I can still remember the bits of things that we did. We always talk with each other, even though I have friends in the neighbourhood near us, I still found myself running towards their house which is located a block before our house. Their house is a bit old, it has a antique feel in it, and i always run away from that house since I thought that it’s a haunted house or something, but Daehyun hyung always holds my hand and well drag me inside their house. That memory is just too painful.

My thoughts were disturbed by a rush of pokes on my cheeks. I shook my head a bit to clear my senses and there I saw Jongup hyung staring at me, concerned. “Oh hyung …” I mumbled before yawning a bit. I rubbed my eyes a bit since I closed it for a while, my sight is a bit blurry and the light really irritated it. “You’ve been dozing off … again.” I can hear the sadness in my hyung’s voice. I laughed slowly before nodding a bit. “Ahh mian mian, I just suddenly remembered my childhood friend ..”

“Childhood? … Friend?” I laughed again because I can see that hyung was really curious about it. “It’s a friend of mine when I was young reaaaaaally young.” I said as I stretch my arms to emphasize the ‘really’ part. Jongup hyung nodded before smiling. “Tell me…” I laughed since curiousness was really written on his face. “Hyung … it’s just a boring old story of mine.” I whined before rolling on top of my bed. Jongup hyung was on the swivel chair but he moved beside me. “Tell me…” He mumbled before stopping me from rolling by holding my waist. “Arasso hyung let go of me!” I pried his hands away from me before running towards the chair near the window.

“Well .. we met …” “Wait!” My story was disturbed by the sudden outburst of my hyung. I turned to him and saw that he’s running towards my bathroom. “Have to pee first, I’ll be back don’t start without me!” Jongup hyung shouted before running towards the room and closing the door behind him. “Aigooo … “ I mumbled before shaking my head. My eyes went directly towards the windows and there I saw him again, Daehyun hyung. “I wish we can be friends again Daehyun hyung.” I whispered as I trace a circle on the window.

After a few seconds Jongup hyung rushed back towards my bed, him hugging my pillow while I still seated in the chair near the window. “Can I start now hyung?” I asked him, I don’t want to be disturbed again. He nodded his head like a kid and looked at me with his puppy eyes. “Okay.” I mumbled before looking at my  Daehyun hyung again outside the window.

“Okay it was back when I was just hmmm 5 or 6, I’m a very awkward kid hyung and when I say awkward, I’m really awkward.” I started.

“What kind of awkwardness? You don’t talk at all? You ignore other kids? You suddenly laugh without any reason? You talk to yourself? You ---“ “Hyung … I’m the one who’s telling a story here, don’t just guess everything.” I sighed. When I looked up again, Hyung’s lips are pursed into a thin line and he zipped it with his own fingers. “Anyways, yes I don’t talk too much, and not that friendly.”

“the first one who approached me wasn’t Daehyun hyung, but a boy living in front of us, then he introduced me to Daehyun hyung, and he’s really awesome.” I closed my eyes and slowly my thoughts went back to time, to the day where we both first met each other.

[[Flashback]]

“Hyung this is Junhong~ he’s a bit tall for his age right?” The boy said before pointing at me, I was really nervous since I’m not really an outdoor kid. I looked at the eldest one in front of me, he’s smiling at me. “Ahh hello Junhong-ah, my name is Daehyun, call me Hyung if you want.” I slowly nodded at his statement, and then the next time I knew he’s already ruffling my hair. I liked that warm hands on my hair, it’s the same as my father’s warm … well the last time I saw him.

“Hyung .. do you love your parents?” I asked him when everyone left us. He turned to me and slowly smiled. “Of course, you have to love your parents since they are the reason why you’re here right now.” He ruffled my head again before turning away. “But … I don’t love mine hyung.” I retorted before kicking a pebble towards the open canal. “Eh? Why?” He asked again still not looking at me. “They left me and replaced me with work, they’re working overseas now hyung … and I still haven’t seen them.” I was about to cry and I hate it whenever my eyes betray me. Before my tears fall, a strong pull quickly disturbed my thoughts. From the pull warmth crawled around me, I looked up and saw my Daehyun hyung hugging me. “Shhh don’t hate them, they are just doing that so that you can a good life … don’t hate them … arasso?” His voice was really warm and … full of love. “Arasso hyung … I’ll never hate them … because of you.” I smiled.

Time always pass too quickly whenever I’m talking with Daehyun hyung, we always talk about the weather and things we like. Daehyun hyung is older than me so whenever an ice cream cart passes us, he always buys me one automatically. Hyung is really talkative like really. “Hyung … I just want to ask something … who’s the noona that came in your house?” I asked him when I got the chance. His face quickly turned red and turned away. “Ahh her … she’s … hyung’s crush.” Did I hear him right? I blinked and smiled. “Hyung!! You never told me you have a crush!”

[[ End of Flashback ]]

“After that, for some reason, I didn’t see hyung that much, whenever I see him, he’s either with the noona or with his other old friends, we literally grew apart.” Sadness was present in my voice, I sighed and placed my hand on my face currently stopping some tears that I held back before. I turned to Jongup hyung, a bit curious since he suddenly shut up, but then when I looked at him, I was surprised. “Hyung .. why are you crying!” I was a bit worried about him, hyung never cried before .. or well he don’t really cry too much. I was about to stand up and run towards him, but he smiled. “I-it’s okay.” Sniff. “I’m okay, it’s just that your story is really … sad.” He mumbled before wiping his face with my pillow. “H-hyung my pil--- … oh well.” I shrugged and turned back to the window, Daehyun hyung disappeared. A sigh once again escaped my lips.

“Junhong-ah … do you like this Daehyun hyung you’re talking about?” That question made me stop. I slowly turned to Jongup hyung and he’s staring at me really well. I blinked as that question continues to ring in my head. Do I like Daehyun hyung as him? Or I like him since he’s like a father to me. I smiled before shrugging my shoulders. “I don’t know … he’s like a father to me .. so maybe I like him as a father … or … I don’t really know Jongup hyung.” I weakly smiled before turning away.

♣

A day had already passed since I told Jongup hyung about him. I yawned and kicked the sheets away as the sun continues to hit my face with its rays. “Ahh lazy da----“ “Junhong-ah! Are you awake now!!?” “Or not…” I mumbled as I know what will happen after this, bye bye my lazy day.

I sighed as I went downstairs, I hate going outside to buy things that my grandmother wants me to buy, but I can’t oppose her, she’s the one who raised me when my parents left for work. “Ahh what is it?” I asked as I lazily sat on the chair and placed my chin on the table. “Don’t slouch!” She whacked the table with a thin stick making me jump a bit. “Oh and buy this outside.” I knew it.

I nodded before walking out of the house to buy the things I needed to buy.

A few more minutes had already passed and I’m on my way home when the one that I wanted to see appeared before me. He’s riding his bike slowly with a girl beside him walking with a parasol. My body stopped on my position as I stare at him. He’s smiling, nothing had changed after 10 years, and he’s still him. I laughed inwardly since I can see that I’m already taller than him, but that smile faded as he slowly comes closer.

I gulped before taking a nervous step closer. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to hear his laugh again … I miss him so much, I mustered my courage to put my plan into work. Right now, I’m going to talk to him, be it with the girl or not. I smiled as he came closer, closer and closer. A few more steps and he’s already earshot. I raised my hand slowly and smiled, but … his actions didn’t changed. He didn’t spared a look at me, he didn’t turned to me and he just passed me like I’m some kind of wind or invincible. He completely had forgotten about me.

I turned and followed them with my eyes as they slowly fade away from my sight. “Hyung … what if nothing happened before? Will I still be your friend? Will I be still beside you? Will I stop asking the question .. ‘Can you still remember me?’ everyday?”

So this is a story that i made... it's my story actually. it's a story about me and my childhood friend, whenever i see him around our neighborhood i can't help but to be sad about our lost friendship .. everything just crumbled .. our connection was cut by the thing called 'Time'.

I don't really know what happened between us, but all i know is that we never fight before, so i'm still wondering till now how we drifted apart ...

-sigh- ahh this is just me rambling about my lost friendship hahaha

you guys have friends that suddenly became strangers right? tell me your story ... and how you cope with it ... i'm really curious !