The trees are barren, the white snow blankets the grass and the sidewalks, they all smile and he stands there, hands in his pockets, staring at a poster nailed to a fading gray painted pole. He bites his tongue as he reads the minimal amount of words. 

"Yixing gege!" someone shouts. 

His warm brown orbs look away from the pole and at the figures that are coming his way. There's Wufan, who is too tall for his own good, Minseok, the odd foreign male, Luhan, the kind young man, Zitao, the lonely one, and Jongdae, the one who left everything behind to be here, but Yixing only smiles softly as they all look his way. 

"Hey, whatcha looking at?" Minseok asks in his heavily accented Chinese, Yixing only shakes his head as Minseok energetically skims the poster. His eyes widen when he reads the words 'dance' and 'auditions.' The younger man only shakes his head once again, pushing his hands deeper into his pockets and looks down at the ground. "You want to do this?" Minseok continues to question.

He shakes his head, rubs the back of his head before smiling once again. "It's nothing, really, we should get going. I don't want to be late for work again," he muses softly. The man throws on his backpack as the others animatedly converse about their break, their adventures and what they'll be doing the next day. 

Yixing only shakes his head in humor as they try to get him to join them in their next adventure. It's not that he doesn't want to, but he has other things to deal with and socializing isn't really something he can involve himself in. The brunette runs his fingers through his hair as a girl comes running towards him. 

The guys around him take a step to the side and smile as the cute couple reunite. They're not really dating, but he doesn't really want to say anything about it because the attention is somewhat comforting. He awkwardly pulls her away from her body, leaving the girl sad and unhappy, but it disappears when she asks him about having a date. 

"Um, maybe another night. I'm really busy. I'm sorry, sweetie," he replies. The girl nods her head, kisses him on the cheek before leaving him alone. The word sweetie puts him off, but he has to deal with it for another day. The girl blackmails him, talks about telling everyone about his life, how pitiful he really is, and how this perfect being isn't really perfect. 

Yixing doesn't really care, but he's too kind and lets her pretend to be his significant other. The others leave except for Jongdae who works with him. They walk in silence, not really saying anything which is something Yixing really likes about Jongdae. Despite the fact Jongdae is cheerful and humorous, he knows when to be quiet and let him be. 

"You don't really like her, do you?" Jongdae asks after a good ten minutes of quiet walking. The male stops in his tracks, pulls back, and Jongdae has to turn around to look at him. The man quietly contemplates the answer to the question, but he finally answers. 

"I don't like her in that sense," he answers. His fingers awkwardly play while Jongdae leads. There are things to contemplate. Like the reason why he lives life in this way, why he lets the girl be his girlfriend if he never really likes her, why he works all day and doesn't really enjoy life like the others do. The man kicks a pile of snow and finally enters the cafe. 

"Well, why are you still with her?" Jongdae asks as they enter the cafe. Yixing shrugs his shoulders, grabs a mint green apron and heads towards the kitchen while Jongdae plays cashier. 

*

His question plays in his mind like an old record. There should be an answer to his question, but he doesn't really know the answer to his question. 

"May I get some more milk here?" a customer asks. Yixing looks up from his position, grabs a small cup of milk and nods his head with a soft smile. He glides over to the customer. With a warm smile, he pours the milk into the customer's coffee.

"There you go," he says warmly. His voice echoing in the coffee scented room. The customer smiles as well. Yixing heads back to his cashier position with a soft smile on his face. 

He thinks about his life and how uneventful it's been. How he's so predictable that Zitao can  figure out what he's doing the next day in the blink of an eye. His eyes glaze over, trying to think of things he could do to change things. He tries to figure out how to be more than just a simpleton as Wufan calls him. 

The day turns into the night in a blink of the eye and Yixing only takes off his apron, takes out his wallet, puts a little tip of money into the cash register and heads out of the cafe with Jongdae waiting for him. 

"Did you ever find an answer to that question?" 

Yixing just puts on his gloves, rewraps his scarf and it's an indication that he really doesn't have an answer. He wraps his scarf around his neck, covers his mouth and he indicates that he doesn't want to talk anymore. 

"Do you wanna drink with the guys and me?" Jongdae continues to question. It's a tempting decision, but he puts a smile on his face and with a soft voice says no. The other male just shrugs his shoulders, heads in the opposite direction and Yixing stares at the flyer on the pole again. 

They wouldn't understand. They wouldn't want him to do something like that. They would miss him. They wouldn't get him. They say it's out of character. 

Out of character, that's what they would say about him. It's out of character for someone quiet, kind, and forgetful like him to do something as dangerous as this. He's careful, he's predictable, he hides in the background when others want attention.

His fingers trace the outline of the flyer. A smile appears on his face and he rips the flyer off the wooden pole. Perhaps, maybe, just maybe he could change that opinion of theirs.

* 

"Are you perhaps, stupid?" Zitao asks bluntly when he sees the flyer on his coffee table. The Chinese male looks up from his guitar as the man in front gives him a glare. 

His dark hair covers one of his menacing eyes while Yixing looks at him silently. The man smirks, tempting him once again that he couldn't do it. Zitao just wants the best for him, but he knows that this is a stupid decision. 

He calls him stupid. Someone who is younger than him is calling him stupid. He could call him out for being disrespectful for it. Instead of voicing himself like Wufan would do, he keeps silence, strumming the guitar all over again. There’s no reason to be frustrated. He just doesn’t get it.

"What would make you want to do something like that?" he asks. 

Yixing opens his mouth, but shuts it again, it's none of his business in the first place and he doesn't have to answer the question. The towering figure just smirks again, crumples the piece of paper and throws in the trash. 

"You know I want the best for you," Zitao finally states. 

(Yixing nods his head and watches as Zitao slams the door behind him.) 

The brunette stays in the silent for a moment. The clock in the background ticks and tocks, and continues to taunt him. Like everything else around him, the clock ticks and tocks reminding him that he’s living his life the same, every day.

He gets up from his seat. No, he doesn’t want this.

It takes Yixing thirty seconds to grab his iPod, some speakers, the key to the rooftop and smile. He wouldn't let others tell him what he could and couldn't do. 

(He practices for three hours with one thing in mind, dance.) 

*

The doors open to hear a rambunctious scream from a pretty looking young man. His giant doe eyes finding the brunette with a curious smile. The boy starts bouncing back and forth, his smile becoming wider. 

"Are you serious about this? Why?" he asks. 

Yixing just goes back to work. He doesn't need to answer his question. Luhan can figure it out from someone else. It's becoming burdensome to answer the repetitive question. The blonde only blinks confused, Jongdae notes this while talking to him about everything and nothing. 

Yixing lets his frustration wash over, he lets everything wash away as he takes a break, runs to the nearest dance studio and puts the volume to full blast, the world disappears as he lets every pop become sharper and better than the last.

He drops to the ground, exhausted and frustrated all over again. They all don’t believe in him, they all want him to fail, they want to kick the can. They want him to raise the white flag, throw in the towel, and he’s about to let them. What’s the point? His life here is perfect, it’s safe, it’s comfortable. It’s perfect. Perfect, p-e-r-f-e-c-t, it’s what someone would want. Someone would love to be the rich kid with good looks, with a perfect body, with an amazing singing voice, one who is kind and sweet. Everyone wants to be someone like him.

Except, he doesn’t want to be like that, he doesn’t want to be like that. This life is too safe, too perfect, too comfortable.

And he hates it. He hates it. He doesn’t want to live life the same way, again and again. It’s too much now.

*

"You'll never make it," the eldest of them says. They have a serious talk, all six of them are around a table, sitting, drinking coffee that Yixing roasted. And as the eldest, he has the final word. 

Because this is a hierarchy, whatever he says, goes. His eyes bore into his soul, they continue to play around with his thoughts as he just looks at him.

“You realize that, right?” he asks, sipping cautiously on his black coffee. Yixing just sits there, not saying a word because if he does, then he admits defeat. He admits that Wufan, Luhan, Tao and Minseok are all right. That he should give up his dream and live comfortably. It’s surprising that Jongdae hasn't done anything yet. As though he has a different opinion than they do. He just sits there, barely touching his coffee.

“We’re only looking out for you,” Luhan says. Yixing really can’t handle all this. They’re tempting him to back down from the challenge, but he only shrugs his shoulders. He doesn’t voice his opposition or anything, he doesn’t need to explain why he’s doing this. They just want him to give up now.

“Breaking up with that girl is one thing, but because of this? It’s not a good enough reason,” Zitao continues cautiously. Yixing grips his mug harder now, forcing a smile on his face. Jongdae looks at him, noticing the forced smile and how his mug is close to shattering. It’s funny how they think it’s about a girl, but he never liked her. She declared her love for him.

“I don’t need to explain this to you guys,” he finally states, calmly and collected. A week of this, a week of people around him wanting him to back down from the challenge, he doesn’t need this anymore. They look at him in curiosity, almost like he’s a specimen. “You do realize you won’t be able to change my mind though, right?” he adds, making the others blink.

Jongdae only smiles, finishes the rest of the his coffee and states humorously, “Well, I believe this meeting is over, let’s get back to work, Yixing.”

It’s the first time he’s ever seen Yixing take charge. The first time he takes care of himself. And Yixing reminds him of himself. They’re similar.

“Nice job out there, Yixing,” he says nonchalantly, not really caring that the other guys might not like him for doing this. He rubs the back of his head with a slight sigh. It’s something that Jongdae notices. The way he underestimates himself, he really thinks he can’t do this either.

“You know, you shouldn’t put yourself down too bad,” Jongdae adds as he starts roasting some coffee beans. The man can feel his bewildered look and chuckles. “People didn’t believe I could make it out here either,” he says, finishing off the coffee beans.

Jongdae passes by the confused Yixing once again. “They all thought I was going to fail. They didn’t think I was going to be a successful photographer,” he continues, delicately adding sugar to the mug of coffee.

“But you’re different,” Yixing stubbornly replies.

Jongdae chuckles once again, he puts the mug on a tray and pushes it to Yixing, who has to put a donut on the tray.

“I gave up my rich life in Korea, came to a foreign country and decided to pursue my dreams, people didn’t believe in me. Just like you. Though, I became one of the best free lance photographers in both Korea and China.”

Yixing looks at the man in admiration. He never knew about this. No one knew about Jongdae, they just knew he gave up his comfortable life to a life of coffee.

“You know that photographer, Chen?” Jongdae asks as the man finally gives the customer their order and awkwardly nods his head. “That’s me,” he says proudly.

Yixing almost drops his notepad when he says that. He’s the one the press wants to know, the one that the paparazzi want to know, he’s the one.

“I didn’t let those idiots try to persuade me. I guess, I wanted to do what I want and even if they misunderstood my reasons, I cared less. I knew what I was doing. And you do too. Don’t let anyone get in the way of your life. Live it like you would want to.”

Jongdae changes the sign from ‘open’ to ‘closed’ as the last customer leaves. He gestures for him to leave, to catch the dream he’s chasing, he opens the door and Yixing leaves.

Just like he did in the past.

*

It’s a grueling audition, one after another, some are crying, others are frustrated, but he stands there tall and proud, this is what he wants. His eyes are blankly staring at  the man who is announcing numbers.

“Thirty-three.”

Yixing’s dark orbs look away from the ceiling tiles, his hands find his pockets, and as the man opens the door, he smiles. This is what he wants.

He wants a new beginning, a new life, a new everything, things will change for him. No matter what happens, he will dance with his heart, soul, and passion.

And no matter what happens, he’s going to win this battle.