Angel without wings
Do All Angels Fly?
Do all angels fly?
It’s been almost a year since Kris was confined in the hospital. It’s the hardest year for Kris to overcome. Well, he just have this incurable disease, his mom left him after finding about that, and lastly, his dad died in a car accident when he was rushing to the hospital to check him out.
He really can feel his body giving up. Yes, literally giving up. His bones are trembling every time he tries walk, his skin is somehow pale, and his hands are sometimes uncontrollable. He mostly wish to die immediately so that he can’t feel all the pain anymore; the pain physically and of course, emotionally.
“Kris, it’s time to take your supplements.” his nurse cheerfully hummed while slowly entering his room with a tray full of boxes of medicines.
“Yes, those bitter supplements again.” Kris weakly muttered, trying to get up from his bed.
Mrs. Lee is Kris’ nurse since he was put in this hospital. Well, she’s already old. Her skin is already sagged, wrinkles are found all over her face and she’s about 50 years old if you’ll look at her. She’s been Kris’ hope to continue living. She’s the only one who’s willing to listen to his whole story. She even told Kris that she’s ready to replace his mom anytime if he wanted to. And Kris on the other hand, agreed and treated Mrs. Lee as his mom, forgetting his bitter life behind.
“Aigoo! Look at this kid complaining about his medicines!” Mrs. Lee playfully scolded Kris as she slightly hit his head.
“Ah, Mrs. Lee! You shouldn’t be hitting a sick person, you know?” Kris pouted and rubbed his head as if it hurts.
Mrs. Lee thought Kris was really hurt. She said ‘sorry’ a couple of times and gently rubbed his head to ease the pain, but afterwards, Kris stick-out his tongue and chuckled lightly in triumph.
“Ugh, whatever. Just take your supplements now.” Mrs. Lee gave up on arguing with him and prepared his supplements first and filled a cup with water.
After letting Kris take his medicines, Mrs. Lee her phone and started dialing numbers. Kris chuckled lightly at Mrs. Lee’s action. Well, we all know that it’s forbidden for hospital staffs to use their phones on work, right?
“Mrs. Lee, you’re one stubborn woman.” Kris said with sarcasm.
“I know, now sleep.” Mrs. Lee pushed Kris slightly for him to lie down.
“Who are you calling?” Kris asked while adjusting his pillow with his uncontrollable hands.
“Let me help you. Anyway, my daughter.” Mrs. Lee rested the phone between her right ear and shoulders. And then, she helped Kris to have a comfortable spot.
“Ah, I see.” Kris simply answered, uninterested anymore and drifted off to sleep.
After hours of sleep, Kris got stirred because he felt eyes were on him. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a lady in front of him.
“Who are you?” his voice was kind of hoarse.
“Oh! Annyeong haseyo, Lee Cheonsa-imnida. Sorry for making you wake up.” Cheonsa apologized as she was stunned with Kris still looking good even he’s sick.
“Well, what I mean was, who are you to come inside my room? I don’t care about your name, actually.” Kris explained, sounding harsh.
“Ya, Kris, don’t be so mean with my daughter. Aigoo, mean kid is mean.” Mrs. Lee suddenly entered the scene with her hands carrying some plastic bags.
“Oh no! He’s not being mean mom. He’s just..just..” Cheonsa can’t think of right words to explain Kris. Oh well, she just wanted to defend Kris.
“I heard everything, Cheonsa.” Mrs. Lee said with a-matter-of-fact tone.
“Oh that..” Chonsa heavily sighed. She thought there will never be a chance to be close to Kris again after he’d been scolded because of her weak defensive skills in words.
“I want to take a walk. Can I, Mrs. Lee?” Kris requested, disappointment is in his eyes.
“Sure thing. Go together with him, Cheonsa,” Mrs. Lee said while taking care of her groceries in the plastic bags. “I’m kind of busy.” And then, Mrs. Lee winked at Cheonsa without Kris seeing.
“O-o-okay.” Cheonsa stuttered.
“I can do it all by myself. I’m not that weak.” Kris said while proving it. He stood up from his bed and since the wheelchair is beside his bed, it got easy for him to sit on it without stumbling.
“No. I said she’ll come with you.” Mrs. Lee said with a firm voice and continued with, “I’m your nurse after all. If anything happens to you, it’ll be my fault.”
Oh good, another thing for Kris to be angry with Cheonsa.
Cheonsa had a long time crush with Kris. Well, they studied in the same school before Kris dropped out because he needs to be confined in the hospital. Kris is popular and a heartthrob all over the campus. Girls in the campus cried for almost a week after knowing he has an incurable disease, but after that? He was left unknown. Some cared at first and visited him for few times. But then again, he was left behind. He became like a leaf which fell off from a tree and afterwards, had been brushed away by the wind. Sad but true.
While Kris is having a hard time making his hand work for him to move the wheelchair, Cheonsa –even with the feel of being hated by Kris– approached him and tried to help him by pushing the wheels gently.
“Let me help you, okay?” Cheonsa softly whispered as she get on work with helping Kris out.
“Whatever.” Kris mumbled, yet felt thankful to her.
“We’ll go to the rooftop, right?” she asked, still feeling a bit awkward with him.
“Yeah.” Kris answered weakly.
Cheonsa noticed his lips were getting much pale and his eyes were a little bit drooping. Worriedness started to crawl through her body. She senses Kris was having a hard time, a very hard time.
“Are you alright?” she asked and putted her hand on his forehead to check his temperature.
“No. Now shut up and be faster.” Kris commanded like a boss with his situation getting worse.
“Oh no, I’ll need to te—”
Cheonsa was about to run back to Kris room to tell her mother when Kris grabbed her wrist and she was forced to stop on her tracks.
“No, don’t. Don’t make her worry, okay? I just need to get to the rooftop and I’ll be surely fine.” Kris said in a very low voice.
“Are you sure?” Cheonsa asked, feeling nervous.
“Very sure.” Kris assured with a faint smile crossed his face. Well, that was the first time she saw Kris smile at her.
“Okay.” Was all she can say.
After a few turns and stops, they made it to the rooftop. Fresh air greeted the both of them. Kris felt a little bit better by it, with unexplainable reason, he really feels good when he see the sky full of clouds and birds flying around like enjoying their time. Cheonsa saw Kris with his eyes closed, inhaling all air he could fit in his lungs and afterwards, exhaling out like he’s also letting out all his worries and problems. He look perfect even with his skin looking a bit pale because of his illness.
“Stop staring at me like you’re some crazy pedo.” Kris chuckled a little and then slowly opening his eyes.
Cheonsa felt blood coursing through her body and finally to her cheeks; which made her feel hot.
“Who told you I was staring at you?” Cheonsa defended herself.
“My instinct, I guess?” Kris looked into her eyes which made her look away immediately.
“W-w-whatever.” She stammered, left Kris there to sit alone and went to the railings.
She rested her elbows on the railings firmly and then her chin on the back of her hands. This is the first time she’d been given the chance to talk to Kris. Well, as stated earlier, she liked Kris. She adored his smartness, his looks and most of all, his attitude. Others say he’s arrogant but for her, his arrogance is just enough for him to keep up his coolness.
“Kris, how’d it feel like to be struck in a world you don’t want to be in?” Cheonsa asked making Kris confused. “I mean, living in the hospital without your family with. I hope you wouldn’t mind me asking, though.” She clarified.
Kris cleared his throat and said, “I don’t even have a family outside the hospital. I wouldn’t mind living in here for the rest of my life.”
“I know your dad is already dead and I’m sorry about that, but, your mom is still alive, am I right?” Cheonsa continued, making things clear for herself.
“True. My mom is still alive but she already gave up on me.” Kris wryly smiled.
“What do you mean?” Cheonsa asked, making her way back in front of Kris.
“She left me after she found out about my illness. She’s silly, right? A coward also.” Kris said with still a smile on his face but Cheonsa can already see tears curling up in his eyes.
“Sorry to hear that.” Cheonsa said, feeling a little bit guilty for asking.
“More questions? I’m willing to answer.” Kris chuckled lightly.
“Oh no. Don’t be ironic. I know you don’t want me asking.” Cheonsa confessed.
“Nah. I’m really willing but if there’s no more question about me, let me ask about some things, okay?” Kris said.
“Sure.”
Their conversation went on. Kris found out that they were studying at the same school before he had been confined, she’s at the same age as him, she’s been a volunteer here for 2 years with her mom, and lastly, Kris, by his own, found out that she’s really something. Well, something in the positive way. He had to admit…he found her really attractive. She’s just so bright and everything.
Since now and then, Cheonsa regularly visits Kris. They’ll just chat and chat until time comes over. They came to know more of each other, Kris, on the other half, growing weak day by day but cover it up when Cheonsa is around and acts cheerfully.
“Hey, Kris,” Chonsa greeted, “how are you?”
“I’m doing great.” He lied.
“Would you want to come over to the rooftop?” she offered, bringing up plastics of fruits.
“Sure. I’d love to.” Kris weakly smiled and tried to move by his self.
“I’d love to help you too.” Chonsa giggled, she just mimicked Kris’ tune!
When they are up in the rooftop, Kris opened the topic which Cheonsa would never try to bring up.
“I’m surely dying.” Kris mumbled.
Cheonsa glared at him and hit his arm, “Idiot. You’re strong enough!” she awkwardly laughed, trying to hide the tension.
“I’m not joking, Cheonsa.” Kris said, full of sincerity.
This was the first time Kris called her by her name. Usually, he’ll call her ‘Yah’ or ‘Pabo’.
“W-what’s the problem with you?” she can feel her voice cracking, unable to say something more.
“I’m so weak now. I can feel my blood drying out.” Kris said, with his eyes closed.
“No..no..don’t joke like that.” She cried out, even she knew he was not lying.
“I’m sorry for something, can you hear it out?” Kris told her with a pleading voice.
“Go on.” She tried to control her tears.
“I’m sorry for making you suffer. Well, I mean, you, watching me die. I’m sorry for that.” He said in the most soothing way he can.
“Next, I’m sorry for being close to you. I know, you treated me as a real friend all this time and I know it’ll hurt a lot to see a friend die.” His voice turned worse.
“Lastly, I’m sorry for falling in love with you.” Tears also started rolling out of his eyes. Cheonsa stayed in silence as her eyes widen in shock.
“I know it’s just been a week or two since we formally meet. But this past week seemed couple of years. Time flies fast together with you but the moments are stamped to my mind like forever and it had been replaying all night long in my head that made me think you were here always, chatting with me and also made me forget I have illness.” With his wheelchair on, Kris pulled Cheonsa down a bit in order for them to have the same level and stare into her eyes full of sincerity, “You’re my miracle. I thought I would never be healed with this illness. I’ve been healed! Not physically, but emotionally. You taught me things, a lot of things. You’re my angel. You’re my only one and beloved angel.” Kris, closing in the gap within them and sealed it with a gentle and sweet kiss.
Kris managed to break a smile and chuckled as loud as his systems can. “Your name suits you the best.”
Well, that was the last talk Cheonsa had with Kris. After that, Kris had been in the bed all day long with a lot of machines connected to his body, trying to make him alive. But none of those worked. Cheonsa stayed all night long too, holding his hand and making sure he’s breathing yet, after few days, he passed away.
Memories were lingering inside her mind, thinking on how Kris had made her life more worth it than she expected.
* He’s my angel. My only angel. Kris has been the only one for me to love. Even though he doesn’t have wings, he let me fly with him together in heaven. * Cheonsa thought while staring gently towards the sky.
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