Jonghyun took a deep breath, smiling even though he knew the air wasn’t as fresh and clean as he thought it smelled. Freedom. It made everything seem so much sweeter.

He walked a couple of miles to the nearest bus station, and waited for nearly an hour before it pulled up. He almost didn’t get off at his intended stop, he was so interested in his surroundings. It didn’t seem like 5 years had passed, not at all. It had felt more like 15.

His mother’s house looked just like he remembered. He knocked on the door, smoothing the front of his shirt nervously. His mother opened the door, and for just a second, Jonghyun saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes before she smiled slightly. His good mood plummeted down the drain, gone in an instant.

    “Ahh, so you’re finally back home,” she gestured inside, and Jonghyun had to swallow the lump of bitterness in his throat. He toed off his shoes in the hallway and had to fight the tears that desperately wanted to escape. “Welcome home, Jonghyun. If I had known you were coming, I would have made you something to eat. You probably haven’t had a decent meal in some time.” He shook his head, not trusting his voice.

He looked around, noticing that his photos weren’t on the shelves as they used to be, increasing the feeling that he shouldn’t be here burdening his mother. She had already been through so much.

    “I just stopped by to let you know that I’m back,” his voice broke towards the end, and he hated himself for it. “I love you umma, no matter what you think.” He hugged her tightly before turning and walking out. His mother protested weakly, but he could tell that her heart wasn’t in it. He allowed himself to break down completely and cry once he was outside sitting at the bus stop.

Jonghyun knew it was his own fault that his mother didn’t care anymore, but that didn’t mean her indifference didn’t still hurt. Parents were supposed to love their children unconditionally, weren’t they? His shoulders heaved with silent sobs. He had learned to be silent. He had to. Otherwise, he would have gotten mercilessly pushed around. He saw it happen often enough.

    “Are you okay?” quickly, Jonghyun wiped the tears out of his eyes and looked up. He stared at the man in front of him, noticing how extremely attractive he was. His cheeks flushed, hating himself even more than he already did for even thinking that another man was attractive.

    “Yeah,” he replied, feeling the mortification of being caught crying. He stood up. “I’m fine. Just.. waiting for the bus.” The other man looked puzzled, making Jonghyun’s cheeks even redder.

    “The bus doesn’t stop here anymore. It stopped coming about… oh, 3 years ago now,” that explained why the other man looked puzzled “Come on, I’ll show you to the new stop. I’m Jinki, by the way.”

    “Jonghyun,” he offered in return.

He walked beside Jinki, too lost in his own thoughts to make conversation. He was still upset over the fact that his mother hadn’t even bothered to conceal her indifference. It hurt a lot more than he ever thought he would be hurt.

    “You shouldn’t lie, you know,” Jinki told him seriously. “If you’re not okay, you should talk about it.” Jonghyun scoffed.

    “I don’t even know you,” he didn’t see the flash of hurt on Jinki’s face.

    “No, maybe you don’t,” Jinki’s tone was defensive. “But you should still talk to someone about it. Even if it’s not me. Talk to one of your friends, or your parents.” Jonghyun tensed, and he knew that Jinki hadn’t meant anything by it. But it still felt like he’d just poured salt in raw wounds.

    “I don’t have any friends,” his voice was bitter. “And my parents.. well. We aren’t on the best of terms.” Jinki’s face showed every bit of his embarrassment and chagrin.

    “I’m sorry,” Jonghyun waved his hands. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He sat down on a bench nearby.

    “Don’t worry about it,” he sighed. “So… You wouldn’t happen to know of any good hotels around, would you? I guess you could say I’m kinda new in town.” Jinki shook his head.

    “No...However… you could stay with me,” Jinki voiced out hesitantly. “I feel bad for bringing things up that obviously hurt. It’s the least I could do. I have a pullout couch for when my friends need to crash that you can use for a while.” Jonghyun looked disbelievingly at Jinki. No one in this day and age was that nice. Anyone who was would probably be considered naïve.

    “Thanks,” Jonghyun offered at last, gracing Jinki with a genuine smile. He followed Jinki a couple more blocks to a small apartment complex, and walked up the stairs.

Jinki’s apartment was small, but homey. Just taking a deep breath made Jonghyun’s shoulders instantly relax. Jinki smiled nervously, and led Jonghyun around.

    “Jinki... Thank you so much,” Jinki’s eyes softened at Jonghyun’s obvious discomfort.

    “You’re welcome, Jonghyun,” he rubbed his hands together. “So who wants takeout?” Jonghyun’s mouth watered at the thought of something that didn’t taste like cardboard.

~~

Two weeks later found that Jonghyun had a job in construction. It was hard work, but the pay was decent and he felt satisfied when he noticed his muscle tone coming back. His muscles had always been something he was proud of, but he hadn’t had much of a chance to work on them until he started this job.

Jinki had been kind enough to let him stay as long as he chipped in for the bills. That wasn’t a problem, as far as Jonghyun was concerned, especially since he really liked Jinki. As a friend only, of course. At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself.

And even though it had only been two weeks since they’d met each other, Jinki and he had hit it off famously. Not including their first meeting, that is.

Jonghyun had decided early on that he wasn’t going to tell Jinki anything about his past. No matter how much Jinki begged and pleaded. The past was just that: the past. Jonghyun hoped it would stay that way. But he should’ve known that unfinished business always has a way of coming back to haunt people.

His came in the form of an old friend that he had almost forgotten entirely about.. Until he came to Jinki’s door one day. Jonghyun was in the kitchen making ramyun for Jinki and himself when he heard a knock on the front door.

    “Jinki! Someone’s at the door!” he yelled loudly, and he heard Jinki grumbling from his bedroom. Jonghyun chuckled. The man liked his sleep, that was for sure. Even when he was waiting for dinner, the man would fall asleep. He heard Jinki padding down the hallway to the front door and froze when he heard the deep, familiar voice coming inside. ‘Please don’t let it be Minho,’ Jonghyun silently prayed, even though he knew it was useless.

    “Jinki.. It’s been too long since I saw you. How are you?” Jonghyun’s shock lasted long enough for the deep-voiced male to come around the corner with Jinki in his arm. The taller man’s eyes widened exponentially at seeing Jonghyun cooking.

    “Jonghyun…,” Jonghyun was sure his name wasn’t intentionally spoken, but his heart dropped to his stomach. He didn’t understand the fury in Minho’s eyes. Why would Minho be mad? He was the one who’d taken the fall for everyone.

    “Oh, you guys know each other?” Jinki’s smile was wider than Jonghyun had ever seen it. He felt his heart twinge with jealousy and tried unsuccessfully to quell it.

    “Er.. yeah. We went to school together,” the lie rolled smoothly off Jonghyun’s tongue and he felt shameful for how easily Jinki seemed to believe him. Minho’s fury only increased and he made some small excuse as to wanting to catch up with Jonghyun before grabbing him and pulling him outside.

    “What the are you doing shacked up with my step-brother?” Minho asked him between clenched teeth and Jonghyun’s eyebrows furrowed, starting to feel angry himself.

    “Look, I don’t know who the you think you are, Choi, talking to me like I’m the backstabber,” Minho recoiled, and Jonghyun sighed. “But I didn’t know, okay? And besides that… In case you haven’t noticed, Jinki doesn’t know anything. Couldn’t you see that by the way he so easily accepted that we knew each other from school?” Jonghyun snorted. “As if I ever went to school.”

Minho relaxed, and he finally offered Jonghyun a small smile. He seemed apologetic, but Jonghyun had learned early on never to trust the tall bastard. He unconsciously assumed a defensive stance.

    “Sorry, I just.. I don’t like getting my family mixed up with this business,” Jonghyun nodded. He didn’t need any further explaining. He felt the same way about his mother. “So what’s up, man? Feeling up to getting back in the business? You always were the best salesman we had.” Jonghyun shook his head.

    “No. I’ve started over, on a clean slate. Got a decent job working in construction. You understand? I’m trying to live right,” Minho looked him up and down incredulously as he took a cigarette out and lit it.

    “Maaan.. Never figured you for a straight and narrow kinda guy,” Minho laughed meanly, and Jonghyun scowled. “Prison must’ve really taken the fight outta you.”

    “Don’t talk about it like you’ve ever been there,” Jonghyun’s eyes looked out at the horizon. “It’s more awful than you could ever imagine.” Minho scoffed.

    “Like how?” Jonghyun’s eyes swept Minho’s tall, lanky form, lingering on his face.

    “Well.. You’re definitely what they’d consider a ‘pretty boy’. So you’d probably get . Daily,” Minho immediately clenched his fists. “And trust me, there are enough inmates in one cell that it would happen whether you wanted it to or not.”

    “And you know this why? Because you were a ‘pretty boy’ too?” Minho asked, the venom in his voice going unnoticed. Jonghyun turned around with dead eyes.

    “Yes,” he answered simply, and Minho’s jaw dropped at the brutal honesty. “We should go back inside.. Jinki’s probably worrying himself sick in there.”

For the rest of the night, Jonghyun was subdued and withdrawn.

~~

It was a stupid accident. Jonghyun had been helping a couple of guys move this box of bolts and he tripped. The next thing he knew, the skin on his wrist was broken and a bone was showing through. He didn’t feel any pain until a couple of seconds later, when he started yelling.

He went to the hospital and got his wrist seen about before heading home for the day. He was frustrated that he’d lost a whole lot of work time for something so stupid as a broken wrist. He’d had worse.

When he unlocked the door and plopped on the couch, he wasn’t expecting to be attacked. Jinki came running and repeatedly hit him with a baseball bat before realizing who it was.

    “Ow! Ow! Jinki!” he scooted away as fast as he could, hissing when he felt pain shoot through his broken wrist. “.” He cradled his cast to his chest, feeling utterly idiotic for being such a baby.

    “Jonghyu-- Oh.. What happened?” Jinki’s concern was apparent, and he moved closer to inspect Jonghyun’s cast. Jonghyun swallowed, the far too short distance between him and Jinki making his head spin. And not in a good way. He scooted as far back as the couch would allow, and sighed in relief.

    “I tripped,” Jonghyun muttered sourly. “Like a ing idiot.” Jinki frowned.

    “Jonghyun, that could’ve happened to anybody. Don’t beat yourself up over it,” Jinki moved forward to hug Jonghyun and he froze. He should be used to this by now, but he just.. couldn’t. He squirmed away from the hug, feeling uncomfortable. He flushed guiltily when he saw the sadness on Jinki’s face.

    “Jinki… It’s not your fault, I promise,” Jonghyun ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “I’m just really bad at dealing with things that happened to me, and not liking to be touched is a product of that. I’m sorry.” Jinki smiled, but Jonghyun could see disappointment in his eyes, and it was like his mother’s house happening all over again. Jonghyun looked away, and curled into a ball. “Just go away, please.”

He heard Jinki get up and leave, and he waited to make sure Jinki was in his own room before he let his tears fall.

~~

After an infuriatingly long 6 weeks, the doctor allowed Jonghyun to go back to work. He warned against heavy lifting for another month, though, so he was mostly stuck picking up the bits and pieces of debris so other workers didn’t trip and fall like he did. At least his coworkers never .

He had distanced himself from Jinki. It would hurt less when he decided to move out, right? He thought so, anyway. He almost had enough saved up for his own apartment, and he knew Jinki would be upset that he was moving out, but he felt that it was for the best. Jinki didn’t know anything about his past, and he intended to keep it that way. His chat with Minho that day had only driven the point home.

He still saw Minho occasionally, and every single time they talked, Minho tried to convince him to come back to his old life. He never would, and he’d told Minho as much. But Minho was nothing if not a persistent bastard.

Jonghyun came home from a particularly grueling day at work to be confronted with a beautifully decorated kitchen table and the smell of wonderful food in the air. His stomach clenched painfully, and Jonghyun’s muscles locked in place. He stared at the table for a long time, and wondered why it was set so nicely.

    “Oh, Jonghyun.. I wasn’t expecting you home for another couple of hours,” Jinki turned around and Jonghyun’s breath caught in his throat. Jinki was wearing dark dress pants, and his shirt was opened at the collar. Clearly, this was supposed to be romantic, and Jonghyun desperately hoped that it wasn’t meant for him even though a small part of him wished so hard that it was. A part of him that also wished that it didn’t feel so absolutely, horrifyingly wrong to like Jinki in a romantic sense.

    “I get off at 5 every day, Jinki,” he said, and he winced at the overly cautious tone. “Why’s the table..” he gestured and Jinki smiled.

    “I thought maybe we could have a nice meal and sit down together,” Jonghyun’s fear must’ve been clearly displayed on his face, because Jinki’s small smile turned into a frown.

    “Jonghyun, are you okay? You don’t look like you feel so good…,” Jonghyun backed up, stumbling over his own feet.

    “No… I can’t, Jinki. I’m sorry,” Jonghyun was all the way against the front door when Jinki pinned him in.

    “Why not?” the frustration in Jinki’s voice made Jonghyun flinch visibly. Jonghyun swallowed nervously, feeling his heart start to race.

    “Because.. This feels wrong, and just.... There are too many reasons why I can’t, Jinki,” he hadn’t meant to sound so desperate. “Not the least of which… When you met me that day at the bus stop, I had just come from prison. And something happened to me in there, Jinki. Something I’ll never talk about with anyone.” The sudden, palpable tension in the room made Jonghyun feel even worse. “I won’t say any more than that.”

Jonghyun opened the door, and took a deep breath, feeling let down when Jinki didn’t try to stop him. He turned around and smiled half-heartedly at Jinki. “Despite what you may think.. I really do treasure the day we met. I’ll be back for my stuff.. some time, I guess.” Jonghyun closed the door with a heavy heart and a lump in his throat. “Bye, Jinki.”
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Jonghyun's past is intentionally vague. Make up your own theory as to what he did before going to prison.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this oneshot. c:

~~

Til next time, loves. ^o~